The jerk in Knight armor
by MerielTLA
Summary: I turned around just to look at the bunch of bullies, dropping my jaw when I saw the hot blond guy from literature laughing with them…as in the center of them,like he was the leader of them."Yup,thats Kendall Knight,the jerk that rules this school"EDITED!
1. Chapter 1

Wooohooo, first fanfic Nice! Haha Well just to get things straight, I made Katie James little sister, why? Well cuz I love how those 2 are hehe and BTCrush was one of my fav episodes.

Enjoy! Reviews are always appreciated!

CHAPTER 1

James POV

New school. Awesome.

Being the new kid wasn´t great, but being the new kid halfway through the semester simply sucked. I mean, if I started the year from scratch, maybe some other looser might start as well, but hoping to have that same luck _now_ was just naive.

My name is James Diamond, yeah I know, awesome name. But when you´re gay and people know about it, well…having _Diamond_ as your last name becomes so bad sometimes you feel your own last name as an insult.

Right now I´m inside the car receiving my dad´s lecture of how to be a good son, staying out of trouble…away from the cops. Yeah I might say that the reason of me being here is because I´ve just got out of juvy…yeah I´m a naughty gay dude that almost killed the last idiot that called me a fag. I hate that word so much.

"James you need to listen to me, are you going to be O.K.?" asked my dad massaging his temple "Please, your mom needs to rest from police stations, principal office´s, everything" I felt kind of bad for him, we had to start clean in some other city, Minnesota to be clear, change schools, jobs, all that stuff just to make me happy.

"I will, I promise, low profile, keep myself out of trouble" I smiled reassuringly hoping to get out of the car sometime soon.

"Fine, take care son" he returned the smile while I got out of the car and into the morning chills of this cold place. After living in N.Y. it wasn´t that much of a change in the weather area, but in everything else, it felt like I moved into another planet.

I walked through the school hall trying to not make eye contact with anybody. I knew they were looking at me, not just because I was the new kid, but also because of my looks. I know how that sounds, but if everybody knows I´m hot and good looking, why bother denying it? Even if after those months in juvy I toned down a bit. Before all that happened I used to have perfect hair, stylish clothes, my lucky comb always at hands reach and my ever present mirror just to look how pretty I was. Well, jail can change people, my hair isn't perfect anymore, it´s just clean and… there. My lucky comb is gone thanks to an idiot back in my old school and the mirror forever forgotten in my room. James Diamond passed from being the pretty boy to…an ex convict with anger management issues. Nice and interesting change, just like my shrink says.

Even with all that crap I still have my best friend, Logan Mitchell, the school nerd. He was always there for me, calming me down and just at my side every time I got in trouble. He even visited me in jail a couple of times. He was the one who researched my new school: Palm Woods High. He said that on the feminine side the school was ruled by a trio called _The Jennifers,_ apparently I didn't need to worry about them if I stayed out of their way. The problem was on the male side of the kingdom. The cruel and idiotic Kendall Knight…damn such a cool name! Logan said that the guy loved to mess with the new guys and make their lives miserable till some other looser showed up. How did Logan manage to get all this info? Not a clue. But he also said that if I retained a low profile and got into any school team, I might find my salvation.

Even if _keeping a low profile_ and _getting in a school sports team_ seems like a complete irony I trust my dear friend in saving my ass, so I´ll live to make it possible.

"Hi, may I help you?" said a lady when I arrived at the principal´s office.

"Hello, my name is James Diamond and I´m new here…yesterday they said that you would give me my schedule" I gave her my most flashing smile in order to get things moving fast, she looked like the kind of lady that would just send me to the waiting chair for hours before she decided to do anything involving her work.

"Here you go sweetie, let me walk you to your first class" Did she just eyed my ass? Damn some people shouldn't be around minors. I felt somehow violated just by _that_ look.

We walked awkwardly to the classroom, she kept eying me and I kept trying to ignore her. I sighed when she stepped in front of a door and called the teacher.

"Mr. Smith, this is James Diamond, he´s new" she said as I entered the classroom attracting every person inside, I didn´t return any of their looks, just nodded at the teacher waiting for him to say something.

"Hello James, I´m Mr. Smith your literature teacher. May I ask which is your favorite book?"

"I don't have one sr." I answered with a shrug.

"Don't give me that…do you even read?" he said somehow disappointed of my answer making some people giggle in the back.

"I do read, I just don't have a favorite book, but my favorite gender is historical and fantasy novels" I was starting to lose my patience when Mr. Smith smiled and showed me my seat. Next to a green eyed blond hottie…I already liked this class.

The class passed like an uneventful blur. I didn't talk to the blond hotness sitting next to me, nor did he try to start a conversation, that threatened to kill my good mood but I tried to keep the good face to the world. My next classes were just as boring, except for English where I meet Camille, a cute eccentric brunette that invited me to have lunch with her.

"So, you´re from New York and you´re cute, why did you move here? You could easily become a model" she said while we were in line to get out food "I mean, I want to be an actress I would love to live in NY, why give up the opportunity?" I wanted to tell her that in the past I wanted to become a famous singer, just like Adam Lambert, but right now my life sucked enough to make me forget about that dream and creating a new one: becoming a teacher. Hell, I don't even know how _that_ happened but the more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself of what I wanted to do with my life.

"I want to be a teacher and that can happen here or in New York, so it doesn't bother me at all" I said finding us a table "So, how´s life around this place?"

"Simple, there are the jocks, they are not that bad once you get to know them…even Kendall" she added with a grimace.

"You don't seem to like him that much" I chuckled before taking a bite of my pizza.

"Yeah well…" she trailed off watching one big guy fake stumbling towards me and _accidentally_ dropping his spaghetti in my hair.

"Sorry dude, didn't see´ ya there" he said laughing along with his friends, I turned around just to look at the bunch of bullies dropping my jaw when I saw the hot guy from literature laughing with them…as in the center of them, like he was the leader.

"That's why I don't like Kendall" whispered Camille handing me a napkin when the jocks walked away "He has a thing for making the new and the weird ones miserable"

"You´re telling me that the green eyed blond _is_ Kendall Knight" Please say no!

"Yup, the one and only jerk that owns this school"

I got home finding my life a lot more miserable. I went to my room and crashed in the bed feeling my hair sticky and gross. I wanted to live free of lies and secrets, I wanted to tell the world of who I was without having to deal with close minded people every day. But it seemed like that was never going to happen. For God´s sake, the school bullies already had me on their _undesirable_ list without knowing my sexual preference, they´ll kill me for sure once they found out about the _gayness_ in me.

"You don't look so good brother" said my little sister Katie resting her shoulder in my bedroom´s door "How was your day? Meet anybody interesting?" It was refreshing to talk to her, even if she was three years younger than me she was one of my best friends, and the first person to know about my orientation.

"Yes and no" I said from my bed not bothering to even open my eyes to glare at my baby sister "Don't you ever knock?"

"Why would I? The house it's a public place"

"Just wait till you find me with a hand in my pants" I heard her walking close to me and then her hand was touching my hair.

"Is this spaghetti sauce?" she asked in disbelieve.

"No baby sis, it´s my new hair product" that awarded me a slap in the shoulder.

"You´re mean, I´m just looking after my big brother, but if you want to be an ass about it, fine!" I opened my eyes at the same time she closed the door with a loud _Bang_. I stumbled to my feet to put the lock before hitting my shower. I started thinking about Kendall Knight, why did every jackass in the world have to be so damn hot? I remembered his green eyes that looked like emeralds in that pretty face of his. The way a dimple appeared on his cheek as he laughed, his beautiful golden hair and the way that shirt hugged his hot body…damn now I was hard.

"Ngh" I moaned as I started pumping my shaft still thinking about the blonde, how could a guy I hardly knew make me this horny? Wasn't there a rule about seeing a guy more than twice in order to masturbate in his name? Apparently not.

"Fuck" I hissed when I came harder than any other time "That's not a good sign" I said to no one letting the water spray clean all the cum away.

I dried myself and went back to bed, not bothering to put on some clothes, if my sister entered the room, then I would have the perfect opportunity for the _I told you so_ moment. I just wanted to sleep and gain strength for the next four months of school. Somehow I know that it would get much worse.


	2. Chapter 2

I was supposed to upload the 2 chapters at once but I got busy and didn't finish this one on time, so here it is!

Chapter 2

Kendall POV

Fuck. Was the first thing I thought after hearing my mother cry in her bedroom, probably meaning that the idiot of my stepfather hadn´t showed up last night and now she was cursing herself for not being a better wife. I didn't need this so I stepped out of my room, and out of the house needing some fresh air and a good walk.

Desperate for a way to forget my mom´s cries I started thinking about my newest obsession: James Diamond. The fucking hot ass straight pretty boy that sited next to me in Mr. Smith´s class. At first I remembered looking at him in total awe, noticing his hazel eyes, soft hair and tanned skin. I was so nervous that I didn't even have the guts to talk to him. He looked so _pretty_ that I though no way in hell he was straight. Then I saw him flirting with Camille, eating lunch with her…and I lost it. I had to ask one of my friends to start my reign of terror using spaghetti. I couldn't forget the look on his face when he turned around and saw me laughing, like he didn't want to believe that it was me the one responsible of making his hair a mess.

The next weeks he seemed to get closer to that bitch, which only resulted in more hatred from my part and more hell for him. I knew I was being unfair, that no one could choose their preference, hell I should have known that better than anyone, but I was a fucking jealous dude and I couldn't help it.

"I´m going for a run!" I raised my head after hearing that voice, looks like I had just found the Diamond residence, and the hottest part of that family was jogging in front of me, showing his rounded ass, defined muscles and toned legs. Damn him! Like I wasn't miserable enough now I had to walk around with a boner.

"James!" I stopped dry when I heard a woman calling for him, suddenly panicking I found myself hiding in the bushes "Where do you want your plane?"

"Just leave it on the window mom!" he scream back.

After I saw that no one was close I looked at a window where a small wooden plane rested. I had no idea what possessed me to take it, but I did it and I ran away, maybe like that I could hurt him as much as he was hurting me for not being able to stop thinking about him. It seemed like it was an important toy after all, and even if by grabbing it I ended up looking like the most immature asshole in the world, I didn't care.

The next day I saw him with a totally different face, he looked like he hadn't had much sleep, just looked pained and…dangerous.

"I heard that he has criminal records" I turned when I heard Jo´s comment.

"Who said that?" I asked not believing a single word; if he was such a bad boy why live up with my crap every day? That didn't make any sense.

"Blond Jennifer, she said that she saw his file while helping Miss Grey two days ago"

"Don't believe anything the Jennifers say" I looked around failing to see my best friend: Carlos García, who somehow had managed to snatch the plane from my locker, I really didn't want to know what the latino might have done to the poor toy.

"Where´s the plane?" I asked when he arrived and we entered Mr. Smith´s classroom and took our sits.

"It's a surprise" Thinking about the whole _criminal records_ thing, I thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to mess with his personal stuff. Damn, even I had some special toys that my dad gave me before he died! I didn't even know when this whole thing started to feel like a bad plan.

"Well hello there faggot!" I winced at the word, Carlos knew I was gay, just like most of our grade, but somehow sometimes he forgot about it and started calling people fags or pussies not knowing that even if those insults weren't meant for me they did hurt "I heard it´s your birthday, I have a gift for you" I saw the look in James eyes when he got closer to his sit, it wasn't pretty at all, they were cold and icy, after seeing that look I found myself fully believing the Jennifer's story.

"Carlos…" I started knowing that if James got angry and violent, the latino couldn't take him, he was strong but too small to really be a treat for the brunette.

"Here!" out of nowhere Carlos got a small gift box and handed it to James, who took it almost with fear. When he opened it everybody saw the tiny plane completely shattered.

And then James lost it.

He grabbed Carlos by his shirt effectively crashing his fist into the latino´s nose. Alarmed I launched myself forward keeping the brunette away from my friend, and of course that changed James aim to me. The girls were screaming and crying seeing that every blow either of us gave ended up in the others body. By the time the teacher got there, I had a bleeding lip and his face was decorated with a black eye.

"To my office, now!" I had never seen Mr. Smith so mad. Obediently both of us walked to the next room and sited in front of Mr. Smith´s desk "I was afraid something like this might happen" he said in a defeated tone "You just be glad I´m not taking you to the principal´s office…or calling the police" he looked a James, who paled when he heard him.

"First of all I had nothing to do with that gift" I tried to defend myself.

"Sure. And it was just a coincidence that you were wondering around my house just before my plane was stolen" James replied sarcastically. So he had seen me, but why hadn't he done anything about it?

"I just wanted to scare you a little, not destroy it"

"Will you please just shut the hell up?" Ok, he didn't look friendly at all, and I didn't want to get in more trouble so I shout my mouth.

"I´m disappointed of you guys. Kendall it has been awhile sense you got in trouble, and James, do you really want to get back to jail?" He got even paler, I felt bad for him "But, I´ll give you another chance. We´ll be exploring historic novels in class…so knowing that you both like that gender, you will form a team and present an exhibit to the class, explaining why did you choose that gender, your outfit…"

"Outfit?" we both asked hoping it wasn't what we thought it might be.

"Yes, you would dress just like the characters in the story" he smiled "You will be suspended for the next three days, which you will use to complete this assignment" he looked at us expectantly "Are you guys up for it?" I eyed James, he sighed looking almost in pain.

"I´ll do it, but I´m not sure…"

"Me too" I interrupted him, he gave me a weird look…maybe this was my opportunity to redeemed myself.

"Then it´s settled, now get your butts to the library and start working" and with a hand sign we were dismissed.

James POV

My face hurt like hell, I had a black eye and I had homework that involved role playing and Kendall Knight. My life was just so _perfect_.

"Infirmary" Was all I said before entering the room, inside was fresh and clean. I sat not caring if Kendall had followed me or not.

"Dear Lord, what happened to you?" said a young looking nurse, she towered over me and looked at my face frowning "I dare to think you had something to do with this?" I turned around finding Kendall standing near the door.

"Maybe" he answered "Not like your flirting might cure him or anything" Did he sound kind of jealous? Nah.

"Shout up Knight" I said bitterly.

"You´re good Kendall, you can go clean up while I take care of…" she put her hand way up my thigh, perhaps she _was_ hitting on me.

"James"

"James" she purred smiling.

"I´m fine, just give me something for my head and we´ll go" I said taking her hand away from my pants, she looked hurt while Kendall gave me a tiny smile that made my heart speed up to dangerous levels.

"I think we should call it a truce, just for the sake of this thing" he offered his hand. I thought about his offer, it was the better way to get over this shit.

"I guess it won´t kill me" I shaked his hand feeling an electric bolt the minute I touched his skin. Maybe I was safer hating him.

We were currently sitting in a big table inside the school library, not daring to look at each other while we checked some book genders.

"Any specific gender you want to do?" Kendall raised his eyebrow catching a wrong meaning in my words "Don't be such a pervert and answer the damn question" I really hoped that I wasn't blushing after seeing that totally sexy eyebrow raising.

"Let me think…how about a western? I don't think dressing up as cowboys would be that horrifying or uncomfortable" Watching Kendall move around in a Cowboy attire…oh yeah that will be interesting.

"I like it, I´ll look in the books you can research on the web" he opened his laptop.

"We´re James and Kendall, and it´s nice to meet ya´ll"

"What…was that?" I asked looking at him like he was a lunatic trying to stiff my laughter.

"It´s our way to introduce ourselves perrty little theng" now I couldn't take it anymore and I laughed out loud, not because the joke was that good, but because Kendall looked so freaking _adorable_ doing it. He smiled back giving me a front row view of his cute dimple.

"Boys keep it quiet, remember this is a library" said the voice of Ms. Johnson from the back.

"Sorry" we said at the same time, that was the second one that day.

"Ms. J, what´s wrong with the wifi?" asked Kendall looking frowning at his laptop.

"We´re having some trouble…if you have a lot of homework you could go home and I´ll tell your teacher I gave you permission" I looked at him silently asking if it was ok with him.

"As long as it´s in your place, I don't like criminals around my mom" somehow I knew he was joking and I just rolled my eyes. I didn't know what to think of this guy, after days of making my life miserable he looked like he wanted to set things right, but before I could agree to let him inside my house I had to ask.

"Why do you hate me?" He moved looking me in the eye.

"I don't hate you"

"Then why…?"

"Do I make your life a living hell?" he bit his lip "Homosexuality" he smiled like he didn't cared that his words stung my heart in a way I didn't want to admit.

"Ok then" no having anything else to say, I got up, grabbed my stuff and started walking away from that homophobic bastard.


	3. Chapter 3

And now continuing the story…I´ve seen that people like it, but hardly any reviews T.T…anyway! I hope this story doesn't suck (it´s good in my head, hope you think so too) and that you continue reading it and please give me some feedback to know you liked it :P

I do not own BTR…damn I wish I did anyway! haha

Chapter 3

Kendall PoV

_His hands hovered through my body. His tongue licked my neck as I gasped for air. I felt hot, almost feverish. I saw his mischievous smile before he started trailing down my abs leaving wet kisses in my chest._

"_James" I moaned when he nibbled my nipple feeling his other hand get terribly close to my… "Shit!" I groaned buckling my hips to his hand desperate for more friction._

"_No, no, we´re doing this my way" he put a hand on my waist preventing me from moving while he leaned down…his nose touching my clothed dick right before he started licking the fabric of my pants "Such a tease…" I breathed becoming painfully hard._

"_Do you want me to lick you?" he said giving me a small bite gaining a deep growl "Do you want me to taste the tip of you dick?" he squeezed my butt "Do you want me to take you inside my mouth?" My breath hitched as I heard his words "Beg for it" he commanded. I didn't like people telling me what to do, but in that moment I wasn't entirely in my senses._

"_P-please…James, I want you to…" in a flowed motion he undid my pants and yanked them away along with my boxers._

"_You look delicious" he said. He lowered his head kissing my thighs as his hand found its way to my hole and entering strongly tearing a scream from me. I didn't love the feeling but something about having a part of James inside me made it awesomely hot "Horny, aren't we?" he mocked licking the tip of my penis making my eyes roll to the back of my head._

"_James! …ngh" he began to suck slowly, letting me get inside his throat…I thought that was the best feeling until he began pumping "FUCK!" his grip on my waist hardened preventing me from chocking him when I felt his finger caressing a special place inside me making me see stars. Knowing I was close my hand found its way to his hair, pulling it hard getting a deep moan out of him giving me just enough vibrations to send me to the edge._

"James!" I screamed waking up from one of the hottest and most realistic wet dream I had ever had. I stared to the ceiling waiting for my breath to slow down hoping I hadn't been loud enough for somebody to hear me around the house. Of course I didn't mean my mom or Dave, my step father, but Maria the house keeper and practically my grandma …it would be awful that she heard me moan and yell like that "Shit, now I have to wash this before she sees it" I said looking at my pajama pants completely soaked in my cum, normally I wasn't this messy, but it seem like James made everything _more_, including my body fluids.

I groaned when I stood up, at least I didn't have school to worry about…just a pissed project partner…maybe I should go to his place and apologize for…the hell, I didn't even know what I had done wrong! "Think, you want him to forget every stupid thing you´ve done to him sense his first day of school and somehow keep him away from that Camille bitch…and have the guts to make things right…maybe even_ gay-him up_?" Yeah like that could ever happen. All I knew was that giving him shit every day didn't help the fact that I wanted to know him better, to get to be his friend…know why he ended up in juvy. And in order to do all that stuff, I had to get in better terms with him "And fixing this thing might just help me_ de-douche_ me" I said taking the small gift box that contained the shattered plane I retrieved from Carlos the day before.

My dad used to love carpentry, and I knew a thing or two that could help me fix the plane "James beware, maybe you could get away from douchy Kendall…but no one can resist _goody-two-shoes_ Kendall" I gave myself an eyeroll at my words, maybe being around Carlos that much wasn't as good as I thought.

James PoV

I looked at my Johnny Deep poster. He was my fist famous crush, the Hollywood sexy rebel. I smiled remembering the first time I saw Edward Scissorhands, which also was the first time I accepted the fact that I was gay…I mean if you could love a guy that looked like that and not give a shit about the cute Blondie, you must be gay.

"James! Phone for you! It´s Logan!" said my mom making me stomp out of bed and run to the kitchen "Wow that was fast!" she smiled giving me the phone.

"Hey man!" said Logan, It felt so good to hear his voice.

"Hello, how are you?" I answered sounding strangely polite as I walked back to my room.

"Why so formal? Did Minnesota made you wear ties too? Or it´s just that it´s been so long that you already think I´m a doctor?" that made me smile sadly, I was a year behind in school, again thanks to the shitty school system in jail. If I hadn't been there, right now I could be studying arts in NYU.

"Nah, I just felt like answering like that…you know me, the rebel, always against the flow"

"_Sure_" I could almost see his sarcastic smile, knowing people your whole life made you do that kind of stuff "By the way…Happy delayed birthday!" he screamed "A huge phone-hug for you!"

"Thanks dude, my mom told me you called yesterday, but I wasn't in the mood for anything, so after school I just crashed my bed and didn't wake up until now" I felt a pinch in my chest when I remembered the _gift_ from my dear classmates…and then the things after.

"What happened?" Logan sounded concerned, we hadn't talked in weeks, either because he was too busy getting ready for med school or because I wasn't around to take his calls. Meaning, he didn't have a clue about the whole Kendall…_issue_.

"Remember Kendall Knight?"

"Ouch. How bad did he get you?" I loved Logan for being so smart and saving me a lot of explanations.

"All started with a spaghetti hair treatment, then he made me kiss the floor so many times that if I kiss it again I think I´m good for third base" he chuckled at this "Then my books disappeared, I got a smoothie facial…which actually was quite refreshing"

"How can you mock yourself like that?" He asked in amazement. I knew he was remembering his school years before we met, he was the class nerd, he personally knew how bullies could be "I love college, being the nerdy guy it's a great thing"

"And you don't know the best of all…the main dish" I took a big breath "They gave me a special birthday gift…they destroyed my plane" I heard a small _fuck_ from Logan. It was so good to have someone that understood the meaning of that toy.

"Are you ok?"

"I´m getting there…the worse thing is…" he was going to give me so much crap for hitting those guys "I snapped, and I started hitting Kendall…it was a little messy and I got an ugly black eye…"

"I´m not mad you know"

"Come again?"

"I´m proud of you"

"Huh? Who are you and what have you done with my Logie?" he laughed at his nickname; I knew he had a hate-love relationship with it.

"You handled it pretty well…and I know how important it´s that plane for you so I don't blame you…that's why you´re home this early!" I looked at the clock; only 12pm. Yup it was early.

"I got suspended…and the teacher assigned us a big project"

"Us?"

"Kendall and me" Now he was laughing like an idiot. Damn Logan for being happy when I was miserable "We have to get dress as cowboys, and we haven't done anything, I have to call him…maybe ask Camille for his number"

"Camille?"

"My only friend in this place…she´s cool and crazy, maybe just the kind of girl you need" I smiled.

"Perfect for me? How could she be perfect? I-she doesn't know me…like at all… besides she might be younger than me, you don't have to search for potential girlfriends…I-I can get my own" I cracked hearing his ramble it was so easy to make him uncomfortable and nervous.

"Dude you haven't even met her and you´re already sweating blood…mocking you it´s so damn easy!"

" Not cool!" he yelled "So this Kendall dude"

"What about him?"

"How is he? Is he funny? Good at hockey?" I didn't register the weirdness of his questions until I was answering them.

"His jokes are lame, but they make you laugh…and hockey! He´s awesome…even if he did ruin my tryouts by changing my blades and making me look like a fool in front of everyone"

"Sorry ´bout that" something in his voice made me raise my eyebrow, it was like he knew something I didn't know.

"Oh I can hear how sorry you are…but damn it! I can´t stand him! Even if he has beau…" I cut off before I said something I could regret later. How could I almost tell Logan how beautiful Kendall´s eyes were?

"_Beau_? As in Beautiful_?_" Damn Logan for knowing me so well.

"Do you know how many times I´ve cursed you in the last minutes?" I joked trying to change the subject.

"Nah, and I really don't want to know" we both stayed silent for a while before he decided to ask the eminent question "So, do you like Kendall?"

"O-of course not! How could I? H-he´s a jerk!" I got up and started walking through the room not wanting to admit out loud how I felt.

"Wow it´s worse than I thought…but It´s not surprising, just give him a chance"

"WHAT?" I stepped dry.

"Didn't you ever ask yourself how I got all that info in such short notice?"

"Not really…yeah, maybe" I passed a hand through my head messing my hair, something a couple of years ago could never happen.

"I know him…we were friends in elementary school, he was my neighbor"

"Some friends you´ve got, first a school bully, then an ex-convict" I answered rather harsh.

"He wasn't always like that…" I looked at the window almost dropping my phone when I saw a red classic mustang parking in front of the house and Kendall emerging from it.

"I´ll call you later" I hung up knowing that Logan might get mad but not caring at that moment.

Aware that I had about a minute before Kendall knocked the door I looked at myself in the mirror, I still had my PJ pants and my black A7X tee I used for sleep, my hair was a mess and…_Ding Dong…_Kendall was at my doorstep.


	4. Chapter 4

So, I see that the story has its fans, and that's awesome! Thank u people xD

Ajeem I do not own Facebook or BTR (But they will be coming to Mexico one day and I´ll marry James xD so I will own him! *evil-laugh*)

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 4

James PoV

I ran to my closet hoping to have the time to change before my mother answered the door.

"James get the door, I´m busy!" And there goes destiny messing with my life again. If I took more time to open the door, it might look like I was dressing just to see him, _which I was._

"But he doesn't have to know" I whispered to myself massaging my temples until I heard a soft knock in my window. I turned to look at Kendall Knight smiling from the other side of the window.

"I´m sorry about yesterday, could we talk?" I felt a blush creeping in my skin knowing how I looked.

"Ok" I just said running away from my room and his sight trying to keep myself together, I made it to the front door and took a deep breath before I opened it.

"Hi" he smiled and that awfully cute dimple showed its face.

"Hi" I growled not a little happy about what that damn dimple did to my senses and hoping my pajama pants didn't show my boner.

"Look, I´m sorry, I shouldn't have said that, sometimes I joke about things and don't care about people" he scratched his head.

"At least you´re telling the truth" I put my hands in my pockets not caring anymore that I was in my pajamas and that my hair was still a mess.

"Can we forget that? I mean we _need_ to do this thing"

"Ok, just ´cuz I have to do it, let´s go to the study room" I wasn´t going to let him inside my room anytime soon.

"Afraid I might steal another toy?" He joked entering the house.

"If you don't want to be thrown out of my house don't talk about the plane…got it?" I turned to look at him in the eye letting him know that I wasn't joking.

"Ok, ok don't get mad" he raised his hands "I have my laptop here, I´ve done some research and I hope we can get this done today so we could go to the mall tomorrow and buy the cowboy costumes" Going to the mall to try some clothes in front of Kendall, not a god idea. Going to the mall to watch Kendall try some clothes in front of me…sounds like a plan!

"Fine" we entered the studio finding my little sister submerged in the world of facebook in the family computer "Katie, I´ll let you use my laptop if you get out of here" I knew that if she stayed in the same room as Kendall and I she would find out that I had a crush on the blond in no time, and wouldn't stop giving me shit about it.

"She can stay, I don't mind" said Kendall "She´s at the desk, we could use the table" I had nothing against that, damn it!

"I guess it´s all right…Katie this is Kendall, Kendall this is my little sister Katie" I remembered my manners just in time.

"Hi" they both said not really looking at each other, Kendall was busier looking at my family pictures and Katie continued being engrossed in the internet.

"Who´s SexyRichard25?" I asked leaning closer to the computer looking at my sister´s messages.

"A friend" she answered.

"A friend who sends you hugs, kisses and…what is the dollar sign for?" that didn't exist when I was younger.

"It's a _smooch_, but it´s just a joke big bro" she rolled her eyes at my apparent stupidity.

"Just a joke? Katie you´re fifteen years old, you don't _smooch_! You´re just a…"

"Don't say kid!" She got up and faced me "At my age you were already dating and just a two years later you got yourself in jail, so NO big bro don't give me your over protective shit and leave me the fuck alone!" said this she turned off the computer and stormed out of the room leaving me speechless and kind of hurt.

Kendall PoV

"If you want you can go talk to her, I´ll start with this thing" I said looking at his hazel eyes, he looked like she slapped him in the face.

"It´s fine, I don't think she wants to talk to me anyway" he shrugged as I went back looking at his pictures smiling at one in particular: kid James making a pout and his puppy dogs eyes staring straight to the camera "Let´s start this…what are you laughing at?" I pointed at the picture and laughed even louder seeing his reddening face "T-that´s…I-I was" looked like he was speechless, let that enter my personal triumphs: making an exconvict blush like a girl and start rambling nonsense.

"Don't worry about it, it´s cute" Now James looked like a big tomato, I seriously wanted to kiss him right in the spot.

"L-let´s do that project" He went to sit in the table and started roaming though some books.

The hours passed and I noticed a few things about the brunette; first the redness of his face wasn't leaving anytime soon, which was killing me; second I noticed that later when his mother came to check on us and give us sandwiches–something my mom would never have done- he flinched, actually _jumped_ away of his mothers touch…what was that about? At first I believed him when he said that she had scared him, but when his father came and gave him a hug after being away the whole day, I saw how his knuckles turned white in the force he was putting in his fist, like the hug was hurting hum. His father whispered something in his ear making shadows appear in his hazel eyes, James nodded after his dad released him prior sitting again.

" I-I think we´re done" I said closing my laptop.

"What time is it?" he asked and I looked at my phone.

"6:30…we´ve been here for six hours!"

"No wonder I was hungry…do you wanna stay for dinner?"

"Yeah, if it´s ok with you and your family" that made him smile.

"I´m asking you to stay, aren´t I?" we started picking our stuff from the table when his mom called him "I´ll be right back…and stay away from my pictures"

"You know that after saying that I _have_ to keep looking at them?" He rolled his eyes before going to his mother. I got up and like I said, went back to the family photos. Something inside me told me that most of these pictures were taken before James got into juvy, he looked so different, his smile was bigger, there was a spark of innocence in his eyes and his physical appearance was somehow more stylish, from his hair to his clothes. I felt like I was watching a James from an alternative universe, and not the James I had a small crush on.

"He looks different, doesn't he?" I turned to look at James little sister glaring at the family pictures.

"Jail does that to people"

"Juvy it´s not jail for the love of God!" she crossed her arms in exasperation "He got in for a school fight! And then he came back like juvy was such a drama! Fuck him, I didn't even wanted to move out of my home, why is he such a pussy?" I had no idea how to react to this, but before I could say anything I heard some steps and we both saw James walking in silence.

"Glad to know why you´re acting this way" he said not looking at her "And please stop nagging our guest with your teen drama" he looked at me and I could see how broken his eyes were "Dinner´s ready"

"What are we having?" I asked as we walked to the kitchen.

"Chicken salad"

"Nice, I love chicken!" I noticed a smile in his lips at my childlike comment "I made you smile, you´re not a lost cause after all"

"Guess not" he looked at me and my heart jumped when I saw his eyes sparkle again "Come on, my mom could explode if we don't take our sits right away"

"A lady doesn't explode, we just make our fury noticeable" said Ms. Diamond when we got our sits "So Kendall, I heard that you like chicken" Now it was my turn to look like a tomato and for James to laugh.

"No mom…he _loves_ it" I rolled my eyes.

"My dad was a chicken maniac, so I guess it's a way to feel close to him" I shrugged before I started eating…that was such a good salad! "This is delicious Ms. Diamond"

"Glad you liked it" she smiled warmly "Take as much as you want"

"Don't say that mom or he´ll have the whole salad for himself, he eats like a pig" joked James eating his.

"What, do you keep track at my eating habits?"

"No, I just keep on track every tray you _accidently_ throw at me" he said in a low voice keeping it away from his mom.

"Yeah, looks like all that food was good for your hair" I reached to touch a lock of his hair but he grabbed my wrist and glared at me.

"Don't. Touch .The hair"

"Fine pretty lady, your hair is safe"

"Fuck you!" he laughed not looking a bit hurt by my comment.

"Language" we both laugh at Ms. Diamond words while she was sitting in front of us.

"Won´t Dad and Katie eat with us?" asked James letting go of my hand.

"She said she wasn't hungry and your dad already ate something at work, he had a meeting with some providers" she drank a sip of iced tea.

"Yeah, I see a promotion in my future" said Mr. Diamond entering the kitchen smiling before he leaned to kiss his wife.

"Then I think it was good to move here after all" James was starting to play with his food, I got the feeling that the whole moving part was because of him, and that the words that Katie said had really upset him.

"I think I´ll leave…my mom should be worried about me" _Not_ "But thank you for dinner Ms. D, bye" I got up and James followed me.

"Sorry for the whole family drama" he said looking at the floor ashamed "Damn, now the school bully knows about my problems, if I ever hear people talking about this I´ll kick your ass" he smiled.

"Aha. Pick you up tomorrow at three?"

"Yeah, I just want to get this over with" I waved him goodbye and walked away.

Driving back home I started thinking about the whole day. First I came finding James in his Pjs being surprised about how hot he looked and the fact that he was wearing a shirt of my favorite band made things even better. Then all the emotions I witnessed in every member of the family. From the loving way his parents looked at each other, to the teen drama of his sister. It was way more than I had every day…man! It was more than I had in a _month_! My mom hardly ever talked to me and Dave, he didn't count as family. My only escape was Carlos and sometimes Maria, my best bud and my fake grandma.

"Hey man!" I said after dialing the latino´s number.

"What´s up dude? You´ve been out of reach the whole day…how´s the big project going?"

"Really good actually…hey I was wondering, can I sleep at your place tonight?" After all that family love I knew that if I went back home I could easily get depressed.

"Yeah man you know you´re always welcomed here…HEY GUESS WHAT?" Wow he sounded exited.

"What?" I chuckled.

"I talked to Logan!" I hit the brakes after hearing him knowing I had a complete shocked expression "He gave me his number, he said he wanted to talk to you"


	5. Chapter 5

I love how the plane has gotten so much attention! Don't worry you´ll know its story eventually :P

There will be more Carlos and Logan (not Cargan). And Also I love the juvy´s name hahahaha its so lame.

Sooo with not much to say, here´s the new chapter and a lot of James drama haha

CHAPTER 5

James PoV

After closing the door behind Kendall, I leaned on it feeling exhausted. That evening had completely drained me emotionally.

First, the whole Kendall situation made a freaking tomato out of my face; I touched my cheek hating it for letting so much blood flow into it making me look like an awkward blushing girl. Then my mom almost scared me to death after being absorbed in thoughts about Katie the drama queen. And then, my dad and his daily hug.

"Stop thinking about the hug" I looked at the end of the hallway where my dad was standing with a sad smile.

"How did you know I was thinking about it?" I was aware that my dad knew me better than anyone, but still he wasn't a mind reader.

"Every time you think about something like that you make the avocado face" I shirred my nose at the thought of that green disgusting fruit "Yes that exact same face"

"Really? The avocado face? Nothing a little more…grown up?" I grinned.

"I´m your fucking father, I have the right to call your faces the way I want, even if they´re ridiculous names I came up with when you were two" he walked towards me smiling at my laughter "So, this Kendall guy…he seems nice"

"No, no dad…don't even go there" I started shaking my head like a maniac, I wasn't letting my dad give me hopes about him "He´s straight, and if it wasn't for this project we wouldn't even look at each other" Lie, I would absolutely _drool_ looking at him.

"You sure?" he gave a quizzical look.

"Yes dad, I´ve seen his…" Jo wasn't his girlfriend, I knew that much, but that blond bitch was always behind him "…_girl,_ she´s pretty and they´re never apart from each other"

"Have you talked to Logan about him?"

"Yup, just this morning…but right now I´m more concerned about the drama queen we have in this house" Mental note, talk to Logan and get the truth about the whole _I know Kendall_ shit.

"Your mom ain´t that bad" he joked as my mom walked by.

"Shut up honey unless you want to sleep on the couch" we both laughed.

"Go talk to Katie, all this thing she has going on its just for missing her big bro" he said stretching his hand to put it on my shoulder, but the minute I realized what his intentions were I stepped to the other side eluding it´s touch "Sorry" he said piercing me with his sad eyes.

"T-The hug wasn't so bad…but I´m ok for today" I scratched my neck "I-I´ll go to Katie´s room" I ducked under his arm and walked to my baby sis room "Hello baby sis!" Even if I was a little mad I kept my cheerful tone when I got inside her bedroom seeing her lying on her bed listening to her ipod and completely ignoring me.

I grinned when she skipped a glance towards me, maybe she wasn't _completely_ ignoring my guts and she looked nervous, like she knew all that crap she gave me a couple of minutes ago, was out of line.

Pretending like I hadn't seen her looking at me I started walking around, checking her posters; I made a face when I saw a Justin Bieber one and then I smiled when I noticed a dart between his eyes and holes of other shots around the face, I continued with my fake interest in her wall until she made a noise –half a growl and half a muffed yell- and got out of bed, slammed the door shut and stared at me before looking down blushed.

"Sorry" she said but I sensed that it wasn't a real sorry; it was just the word to get me of her back.

"No you´re not" I sat on her bed to look better at her face, being this tall wasn´t always great, even if Katie was tall herself "You hate me right now"

"I don't hate you, you´re my brother I could never hate you" She finally looked at me.

"Yeah, what was I thinking? I´m the awesomely great James Diamond, no one can hate me" I joked losing my smile when I saw a tear in my sister´s cheek. I was hugging her in no time concerned, she never cried, she was a crazy, intelligent –almost in a manipulative way-, beautiful girl that should not be crying!

"You´re an idiot" she said hugging me back "Why did you have to change? It was just one year and a half brother, you shouldn't be like this after less than two in juvy" I closed my eyes hearing her words, somehow our parents had managed to let her think that I was in the low security side of the St. Gustavo Roucke Juvenile Reformatory because that was where cases like me belonged, not in the full security side where he guards had _accidently _sent me.

"Be like this? What do you mean?"

"My brother was the great James Diamond, not the James that just joked about being great" she let go of me and looked at me in the eye "My brother could never ask our parents move because he was scared of going back to school…my brother had style all over him and was proud of how he looked, he was a the touchy type always hugging everyone …I want my brother back!" she stared punching my chest with every sentence before I caught her fist stopping her.

"That can´t happen, this is who I am now Katie…and sorry about the moving, I know you didn't want to leave…but please understand" I took a deep breath "There are some things that you don't know…" How could I tell my sister that I hated my looks, even my own hair, and because of that I stopped taking care of myself? How could I tell her that the only reason I wasn't bold was because my mom would find out something was wrong with me and that would make her miserable?

"Then tell me! We used to tell each other everything, I knew you James, you were my best friend…and after a year without you I thought we could go back to that…but apparently you don't want to" Why did all this happen in the same day? When we moved here I was all about starting again, gaining my confidence back…and somehow I had gain some more, but it wasn't as much as I had in the past. Now I had Kendall, Katie and my dad to worry about, it was too much emotional drama to dandle, even my shrink said that I should have a peaceful year in order to recover…yeah so much for a peaceful day!

"I can´t tell you Katie" I avoided her gaze knowing that the only way I could make her happy again was telling her something personal, and I had just the perfect topic "So, what did you think of Kendall?"

"You´re changing the subject"

"I´m trusting you again, I´m talking boys with you again…isn't that what you wanted?"

"He´s cute" she shrugged "Is he gay?"

"Nope, he´s as straight as Brad Pitt"

"Well we´re not sure about that, he´s a dream and all but he is too metrosexual for his own good" she smiled before taking my hand –which didn't give me the creeps, another interesting thing to discuss with my shrink in our next session- and making me lie on her bed side to side, like we always did when we were kids.

"The dude has to look good" It felt so good being like this again "And back to speaking of Kendall, if you think he´s cute, you should've seen his dimple, it´s adorable"

"Adorable? Seriously brother?" even if I was looking at the ceiling I sensed a smile in her words "Now I´m worried…but if he´s straight, why fall for him?"

"Like I could help it" I snorted "I´m sorry about earlier, I can´t be the overprotective brother when I´m as good rolemodel as Lindsay Lohan"

"Nah she´s an addict whore, and you´re just a violent dude…not the same thing" I hopped she didn't notice my flinch at the word _whore_, my second most hated word.

"Still you yelled at me in front of…our guest"

"I´ve already said I was sorry, don't make me say it again tomato face" she giggled "I wished I had a camera when he started looking at the pouty-face photo"

"Weren´t you supposed to be having your drama moment at your room when that happened?" I looked at her in confusion.

"I forgot my phone and I had to get back…I could tell, he was totally checking you out" she winked at me.

"No. He wasn´t"

"Yes, he was" I roughly got up almost knocking her down.

"He wasn´t, Katie I don't need you to give me hopes on some straight guy, I need to get over that jerk or…" I trailed of seeing her raised eyebrow "What?"

"Or?"

"Nevermind" I said walking out of the room letting my sister´s mocking eyes behind.

Kendall PoV

"Why would Logan want to talk to me?" after hearing a lot of shit from other drivers I continued my drive to Carlos´s house.

"Dunno" he sounded like he was eating something "But it would be nice to see him again, it´s been twelve years sense he moved, good old Logie smarty pants"

"He hated when you called him Logie, did you know that?" I smiled remembering all the stress Carlos and I used put in Logan´s shoulders every day I had a new _exiting and extremely awesome_ plan, it was too much for a seven year old to handle...even if after moving and transferring schools his brains had sent him a year ahead of us.

"Yeah, and I know that he loves it anyway ´cuz only his friends and his mom call him that"

"How did you and Logan end up on the phone?"

"I´m not like you Kendall, I do keep in touch with my pals" I grimaced hearing his words, he hated that most of the times he was the one calling me and not the other way around, during summer breaks it could pass a whole week without talking to my best bud because I hated getting in the internet and didn't carry my phone everywhere I went.

"I did call you today, didn't I?"

"Only because you wanted to stay at my place"

"Ah, come on I don't need this now dude, please be happy Carlos and not mature Carlos"

"_Mature_ Carlos? Now I´m hurt" I smiled "We´ve been talking for _hours_ how come you´re not here yet?" I could almost see him looking through his window with an eager look on his face.

"Two seconds" I ended the call right before I parked in front of his house smiling when he came to greet me.

"So, what happened?" Oh no, mature Carlos again.

"What do you mean?" I got out of the car and leaned on it nonchalantly waving back at his mom who was looking at us through the kitchen window.

"Dude, I know you. And Kendall Knight only sleeps at my place when he desperately doesn't want to go near his house, so…" he started a rolling motion with his hand asking me to explain myself.

"I was…" I bit my lip, Carlos didn't know about the confuse feelings I had around James Diamond "With…"

"¡Carlos teléfono! ¡Es tu amigo Logan!" I heard his mom scream in Spanish before looking at my friend with a raised eyebrow.

"Logan´s calling…come on, let´s see what he has to say" I groaned walking behind him as we entered the house. I hadn´t talk to Logan in a long time, last time was right after my father´s funeral four years ago, and I was curious about what he might want to talk about "´SUP DUDE!" I smirked knowing that on order to maintain his internal hearing organs safe, Logan had to hold the phone at least a foot away from his ear "Good and you?...actually he´s standing right here…of course not! He called me and I told him that you´d asked for him…you´re the creep that always knows all about people…Logan, you want to be a doctor, not a CIA agent…Not fair! The CIA it´s for me, stay away from the agency Logan!...I´m not crying about it!" I was about to burst in laughter hearing just one end of the conversation, Carlos and Logan always had the funniest fights "Kendall he wants to talk to you" he handed me the phone "I´ll finish cleaning the dishes, be back in a few" I walked to his living room and sat in the couch.

"Logan?"

"Way too long sense I heard that voice!" he joked "Will it kill you to call me on my birthday at least?"

"Probably, ask Carlos" I smiled "So, what did you want to tell me?"

"When did you and Carlos become the bullies that you hated so much when we were young?" I blinked astonished at his words.

"What are you talking about?" I wasn't about to admit that I liked teasing –and sometimes emotionally hurting- people to the guy I used to protect from bullying.

"Do you know a James Diamond?"

"What does James have to do with…?"

"He´s my friend" Fuck "And I know you´re being and ass with him"

"So, you´re calling me after four years just to tell me to stay away from your friend?" I snorted not happy about it.

"The matter of fact I am…well, I´ve always stayed in touch with Carlos so he doesn't count"

"Well thank you for appreciating our friendship" I was getting mad, I didn't want to think about James.

"Kendall don´t…" I hung up. I wasn't in the mood to deal with long lost people.

"He already gave me the whole _you don't go around destroying people´s toys_ speech" said Carlos walking to sit beside me "He made me feel so bad…we saw him cry every time bullies gut to him, and now look at us…what happened?" he looked at his hands like they were blood stained or something.

"I became an ass and you being the awesome friend you are, became one yourself" I ruffled my hair.

"How about we lay low for a while? I mean we got just three more months of high school, it won´t kill us to leave a couple of losers alone" I was already crushing on one, so I didn't seem that hard.

"Did you ever tell Logan that I was gay?" I knew Logan would call at my place eventually, and I wanted to know how much I could actually tell him. It wasn't like I trusted the guy that much, I mean we were friends when we were seven, a lot of things had changed sense.

"Nah, not my thing to say" We stayed silent for a moment deep in each other's thoughts before the unmistakable sound of Carlos´s stomach barged in.

"Time for corn dogs!" he screamed.


	6. Chapter 6

This was a hard chapter to start, I didn´t know If I was continuing right were Ch. 5 ended or straight to the mall…but I decided to jump to the next day, we all want to know how the cowboy fitting will be ;)

I do not own BTR or Avenged Sevenfold T_T

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 6

James PoV

Kendall was picking me up in half an hour and I still had no clue what to wear. I was freaking out! This had never happened to me! Before juvy I always knew how to look my best and after I got out I just stopped caring...until now.

"Can I record this? It´s too funny" I turned at my sister´s comment; she was standing in my door next to our mom, both of them grinning.

"I don't know honey, I pity him" mocked my mom "How about you go simple James, your red tee and a black jacket, jeans and your new vans"

"I love you mom!" I screamed closing my bedroom´s door smiling at my mom and Katie´s claims.

All I had to do now was calm myself, get dressed and put ice in my cheeks to prevent them to burst into flames when he arrived.

"James!" said my mom at the other side of the door "Kelly called, she said don't forget about your appointment tomorrow at five"

"Ok mom!" I tried to remember if Kelly, my shrink, had left me some homework but my brain wasn't cooperating so I didn't try any harder "If I had then…she´ll scream at me for not trying hard enough, but it´s worth it" I murmured to myself looking for my red and black squared vans.

"Hey James! Kendall´s here!" I stopped death hearing Katie´s words, with no second though I put my shoes and ran, actually _ran_ to get the door, only to open it and finding… no one there. Confused I took a step outside looking for the blond, he wasn't there. Frowning I went back inside the house only to find my sister laughing hysterically and my mom barely stiffing her laughter with her hand.

"You didn´t" I didn't know what to do: strangle my baby sister, pry for the earth to swallow me or laugh with them.

"Oh son…we never thought you would actually fall…for that" my mom´s eyes were so shiny and happy that I could not stay mad at them.

"At least I´m ready now" I breathed smiling "You´re such cruel people…messing with my feelings like that"

"James I´m sorry, but it´s a relief to see you so excited about someone that I couldn´t help it" She stepped forward and gave me a hug, it was so good to hug her like that, I felt like nothing was wrong with me, like that year had never existed in my life…maybe that was why I wasn't afraid of hugging my mom and Katie, they were my ladies, the only two beings in my world that still saw me like the old James.

"Mom h-he´s just a friend" Two days ago I was punching the guy and now I was calling him my friend …things could change so much in so little time.

"I never said he was more" she smiled leaving me speechless and giving Katie something else to laugh about.

"M-my stomach h-huts" Katie said trying to stop.

"Then keep laughing sister" I gave her a sadistic smile making her stop.

"That look…gives me the creeps" she faked shuddered "Did you use it against some kids in juvy?"

"I learned it from a kid in juvy" I noticed how my mother´s eyes submerged in darkness "It kept me out of trouble" I knew she was remembering all the time she saw me completely beaten, I knew that even if I smiled and reassured her that I was fine, she´d never believed me "You ok mom?"

"Yes dear, just…It´s so good to have you home and smiling and joking about that place" she cupped my face "I love you son"

"Thanks mom, I know, and I love you too but please stop this chick-flick scene for a second, I´m getting sick by just hearing you" I said playfully gaining a genuine smile from her.

"Ugh, he´s not the only one" her smile grew bigger after hearing Katie´s words.

"Now, now kids I…" she trailed when we all heard a car pull over in front of the house.

"Nice car" said Katie looking through the window "James your boyfriend´s here"

"Katie!" My mom and I yelled before hearing a soft knock in the door "I´ll be back later" I said kissing my mom before opening the front door.

"Hey, ready to go?" He said and I hoped I wasn't drooling, he looked amazing; he was wearing skinny jeans, a simple green tee, a black hoodie and a gray beanie. Not much but enough to make my pants tight. Damn, how was I supposed to endure the class watching him dressed like a frigging cowboy?

"Yeah, let´s go" Maybe I should learn how to walk with an eternal erection in my pants. We went to his car, it was _nice_, I loved cars, but the classics were just my weakness. I looked around in awe when I got inside smelling the leather of the seats in the air and hearing Avenged Sevenfold´s Bat Country on the radio.

"Do you like A7X?" I asked surprised.

"Best band for me" he smiled starting the engine "And judging from your Pj´s you like them too, don´t you?" Blush, thank you for joining me this evening, I wasn't missing you at all.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting any visitors" I looked through the window waiting for the redness to go away.

"Sorry, I didn't have your phone and Camille wouldn't give it to me" I saw how his face contorted in hatred…apparently the dislikeness was mutual.

"You don't seem to like her" I found myself saying.

"And you seem to like her a lot"

"Yeah, she´s a cool girl" I smiled in spite being a little hurt that she hadn't called me once sense the fight, but I was the new guy, and we´ve only known each other for little time, I didn't blame her for not being all that interested about my life.

"Until she finds out things that she doesn't like about you, and then cool Camille becomes Camille the bitch" he turned up the volume ending the conversation.

I tried my hardest to keep my eyes away from the blond and focus on the music, but for the first time the music stressed me more because it reminded me that no one was talking and that it wasn't a comfortable silence. Without noticing I started humming Dear God, it was my favorite song after all.

"Dear god, the only thing I ask for you!" I turned to look at Kendall who was singing along "Is to hold her when I´m not around. When I´m much too far away!" I smiled hearing his beautiful voice, damn him another thing to keep me interested "We all need that person who can be true to you…" he started laughing and I saw a nice blush spread through his cheeks.

"Who are you Zack Efron?" I asked smiling.

"What does that…_guy_ have to do with my singing?" He looked offended.

"High school jock and singer" my smile grew seeing him get all worked up about it "Almost like you got out of a Disney movie"

"Nah I´m more of a nickelodeon guy, it´s more fun…not that an exconvict like you would know" Thank you for reminding me that.

"I´m nineteen, you´re eighteen and we´re discussing nick and Disney? That doesn't say anything good about us" he turned down the volume, it looked like he wanted to talk again.

"Don't care, everyone should have his inner child taken care, a cartoon every once in a while doesn't hurt" he rolled his eyes "Now I sound like Carlos, sleeping in the Garcia´s house is never good for me" I raised my eyebrow noticing the light of his eyes, apparently he did care about his best friend…even if the said best friend was a plane killer douche "Speaking of Carlos" He glanced at me "It wasn't his fault about the plane…he´s…"

"An idiot?" I mumbled trying to not get mad, I wasn't going to let the thoughts of my plane ruin my day, I had almost successfully stopped thinking about it, I didn't want to get all depressed remembering the shattered little toy.

"Yeah, sometimes…he´s a goof, but also a great guy…he told me that he was playing with the plane, none of us wanted to destroy it...I just wanted to scare you and he…"

"Destroyed it" now he looked almost desperate to make his friend look innocent.

"It was an accident…if you´ve forgiven me then…"

"I never said that" I cut him "I already told you, I need to do this project, and it´s just because of it that I´m talking to you right now…we made a truce, just that, I never said I´ve forgiven you" I could´ve sworn that he looked sad about my words…yeah, that crush made me see things that weren't there.

"Ok, I´m not going to argue" we arrived at the mall seeing that even for a Thursday afternoon it was pretty empty "There´s a costume shop we could go, or there´s also a western store…which one do you think it´s better?" he asked when we went inside.

"Lets check the western first; I bet that the costume store it´s more expensive and I don't have much money" I said looking around a little frighten, I used to love malls, they were the nest of fashion, the perfect place for social gatherings and hanging with friends…shame was that I didn't have any friends and that I felt the urge to throw up thinking about all the stores around me.

"This way" Kendall said walking to his right; I followed him automatically trying not to think about all the clothes surrounding me. Against common belief I still loved shopping, but I was afraid that after all the happiness of acquiring new stuff I wouldn't be able to use them thanks to my stupid fear of going back to who I was. After all being like that was the reason I was in this emotional mess.

"Well, look who´s here" I stopped walking feeling like someone had thrown iced water on me, It couldn't be _him;_ slowly I turned around just to look at a middle age muscled man a couple of inches taller than me with light blond hair and cold blue eyes "Hello Jamie, long time no seen"

Kendall PoV

I frowned. I didn't have a good feeling about that guy, somehow se seemed like he wanted to _eat_ James, and his smile…just gave me the creeps.

"Afternoon officer Lewitt" said James looking _stiff_ and furious "What brings you to Minnesota?"

"What´s with the politeness Jamie? I thought we were close, call me Steve…and we both know I´m not an officer anymore" he stepped towards James stretching his hand and caressing the brunette´s hair; James looked like he wanted to throw up but didn't move a muscle.

"There´s a restriction order with your name _officer_" murmured James, his voice dripping venom "Leave"

"Ok I will Jamie, I just hope you haven't forgotten the good times we had" his hand passed though James´s chest like he was touching him without actually doing it; by now I wanted to kill that freak "Bye bye Jamie" and with that he turned around and walked away.

"Is there a salon in this mall?" said James not looking at me.

"Just around that corner" he started walking in that direction; concerned I followed him almost running to catch him "James, James!" I grabbed his arm stopping him.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he yelled making me release his wrist and step back astonished.

"I won´t, I´m sorry" He looked at me with his eyes really open, and then he started breathing deeply; glad that he appeared to have calmed himself I dared to ask if he was ok.

"I-I don't know" he said after I asked out loud. James looked so lost and frighten. Who was that guy? Why was James so terrified? I couldn't believe that the guy standing in front of me was the same guy that smashed my face two days ago.

"Why did you want to go to the salon?" I looked at him in the eye feeling anxious at how broken his hazel eyes seemed.

"I wanna be bold…" he lowered his gaze.

"Your hair is beautiful…why would you want to do that?" He flinched at my words making me _almost_ regret them.

"B-but I can´t do it" he put his hand in his face, his words not making any sense "Argh!" he groaned "Why is all this shit coming back now? I was fine, I could even put up with you, if you hadn't take that fucking toy this could never had happened" his head popped up and I took a step back, he looked furious…at me.

"James…how could this be my fault? I-I don't control the world…if you want I won´t stop you anymore and you can go and cut your hair" I bit my lip not loving the idea "B-but there´s a lot more in this than me"

"Do you know Logan Mitchell?" I blinked at his question I wasn´t expecting that.

"Yes and I also know that he´s your friend" not liking the chance of topic I asked again "Why did you want to cut your hair? And don´t change the subject" I pointed at him with my index finger.

"Why not? I-it´s my hair and if I want it off… I can do whatever the hell I want" now he looked more lost than ever "I won´t do it…but please lets go get that clothes and leave this place" he looked at me with pleading eyes "Please Kendall get my mind away from this" hearing this was like a punch in the gut, he looked so vulnerable I couldn't say no.

"F-fine, follow me" I started walking hearing his steps not far behind. I had no idea what to think or what to feel about the past minutes, the only thing I knew was that I wanted to see James smile like when we were inside the car even if I had to make a fool out of myself, after all being Carlos´s best friend I had some goofyness inside me "Look, they´re having a sale, that's lucky" I smiled entering the shop, I´ve never liked the whole cowboy thing but I guessed that some things weren't so bad "So, just a shirt, a hat and a pair of boots for each?" I was certain that I was going to talk to myself for a while.

"I think we also need chaps and spurs" he said absently looking at some shirts.

"Ok, we´ll make our own brokeback mountain" Fuck. Why did I say that? I already knew he didn't like gay jokes; he made it clear when we were in the library.

"If you want to _brokeback_ your mountain, it´s not my problem I just want to buy this and go home" we both saw a shopgirl smiling flirtatiously my direction, too bad she wasn't my type, I liked tall tanned brunettes better.

"It´s better if you fit the clothes first, then I´ll show you how to put the chaps on handsome" she said leaning in some random table giving me a front row view of her breasts.

"Sorry blondie I don't play for that team" I smiled before hearing a big noise, I turned finding James on the floor unconscious.


	7. Chapter 7

Muhahaha how did you like that last cliffy? Ahh I love writing this much, and I want to end this story before going back to school so here´s the new chapter! And remember I do not own anything I mention here, only the plot.

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 7

Kendall PoV

Without losing a minute I ran to James´ side "James! James! Wake up!" I kneeled beside him touching his scalp looking for any injuries trying not to move him that much.

"Should I call the ambulance?" the blondie said worried.

"Does he look paler to you?" Maybe I was just seeing things, maybe it was just a…just a _what?_ He almost looked transparent.

"He kind of does" said the other shopgirl "He looked sick when you arrived" apparently she was smarted than her workmate.

"James, please wake up" I touched his cheek, he felt cold to the touch, that wasn´t right. Suddenly I remembered Carlos telling me that Logan was in med school, maybe he knew what to do, I dialed his number counting the seconds before the brunette answered "Logan!"

"Hey, I wasn't expecting a call from you" he said sounding confused.

"James fainted"

"What? James doesn't faint, what did you do to him?" he sounded really mad and awfully overprotective.

"Nothing, we were at the mall and two seconds later he was on the floor and I don't know what to do" why was I so desperate and anxious? It wasn't like I hadn't witnessed anything like this before.

"First make sure he´s breathing…turn his head to the side so he doesn't choke with his tongue, what is he wearing? A shirt or a tee?"

"A tee" I answered balancing my phone between my ear and my shoulder and moving his head carefully with both hands feeling the air James exhaled in my fingertips.

"Then it´s ok, look if you have a moist towel or something" I looked around repeating Logan´s instructions to the shopgirls, again the smart one came to the rescue "And put it in his forehead and neck" I did as he said.

"What else?"

"Is he shaking?"

"He´s sweating and shaking a little" I answered "And he´s cold" I kept my hand on his cheek loving the feeling of caressing his skin without him freaking out.

"Then put a blanket or something, and keep talking to him, no shaking or slapping, just talk he´ll wake up eventually" I took of my hoodie off and put it on his chest "It´s weird that something like this happened out of nowhere, are you sure he wasn't under some kind of stress? Or that he was shocked by something?"

"James, James come on dude wake up" I whispered softly before going back to the phone "He kind of did, but a while before he fainted"

"Time doesn't really matter; people can get shocked even years after of the traumatizing events" he explained in a professional voice "What happened?"

"He saw this guy…officer Lewitt I think"

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" exclaimed Logan "Did he talk to James?" now he sounded awfully tense.

"Yes" I answered softly noticing James´ eyelids moving.

"Kendall hear me now, James might be terrified when he wakes up, call his dad, I´ll text you his number, and then take James to a park or somewhere on the open and don't tell him that his father is coming or he´ll say that it isn't necessary, he needs to stay calm…and do not touch him unless he asks for your help" I frowned at his words removing my hand from the brunette.

"He´s waking up, send me James´ dad number and I´ll talk to you later" I said ending the call and waiting for James´ eyes to open "Come on James, open your eyes" he groaned frowning, like he didn't want to wake up "Morning sunshine" I smiled when his eyes were finally open.

"Please tell me that I didn't just faint in front of you" he swallowed not making a big attempt to move.

"Yes you did" I looked at his eyes noticing how sad they were "How do you feel?" my phone vibrated reminding me that I had to call James´ father.

"Dizzy" he took a deep breath "Don´t call my dad" Wow Logan was right about that one.

"How did you know?"

"I heard you talking by the phone, please don't call anybody" he shook his head.

"But.." I bit my lip not knowing what to do.

"Please Kendall, trust me" he gave me a front row view of his broken eyes, what had happened to him?

"Give me a reason not to call him, and it better not be because you don't want to worry him"

"My head hurts" he changed the subject trying to sit, not caring what Logan said I helped him passing my arm around his shoulders keeping him steady, he didn't seem to mind the contact.

"Don't change the subject, give me a good reason"

"I´m scared" he whispered almost inaudibly.

"Logan said that you fainted because of stress" now I was the one changing the subject not knowing what else to do.

"You called Logan?" he knitted his brows looking at me.

"He´s the only _almost_ doctor I know…I didn't know what to do" I looked around seeing the two shopgirls smiling at us "Do you mind if we stay here a little longer?"

"It´s ok, this place is quiet enough to not disturb your friend, don't worry" said blondie stopping her flirtatious behavior, thank God for making me gay!

"Thanks" my attention went back to the guy in front of me.

"I want to get out of here" he murmured breathing deeply.

"Let´s go" I helped him stand up keeping my arm in place preventing him from falling again I was glad he wasn't that much taller than me "Do you think you can walk?"

"Yes, just get me outside" he had a note of desperation in his voice.

As soon as we were out in the open he seemed to gain some color and managed to stand on his own getting rid of my arm leaving me feeling a little cold.

"I listened to you about not talking about what happened earlier and you fainted, now I won´t leave you until you talk to me" I said looking at him in the eye.

James PoV

If I had a penny for every emotion inside of me at that moment I would be a millionaire. Being on the outside had helped me in the physical side big time, making all the dizziness fade and the headache to stop, but I still had a lot to worry about, like _officer_ Lewitt being in town, or hitting reversion and sending months of hard work to hell…or the fact that Kendall had told the shopgirl that he, quote, _didn't play for that team_…not to mention that I was completely ashamed of fainting just out of some drama, I had never fainted in my whole life, not even inside juvy, why now?

"There´s a park two blocks from here, do you want to go there?" I heard Kendall´s words and nodded in agreement.

We walked in silence, but I knew it wouldn't last long, Kendall had a determined expression, he wasn't going down without a fight and I didn't have the strength to fight him…could I tell him the truth about my time in jail? Could I trust him? I only really knew him for three days, how could I be thinking of opening up to the school jerk? How could that sound like a good idea?

"I´m sorry" I stopped walking hearing his words.

"For what? All you did was helping me" he half smiled walking again.

"For your plane, I really am…I wanted to repair it, but its proving to be a difficult task" I widen my eyes "Why is it so important?" his green eyes darken with guilt.

"My grandpa made it for me when I was twelve" maybe the plane was the perfect way to start telling my story "Being wooden, it was the only thing I could get inside juvy…having it near me gave me the strength to endure that hell" I closed my eyes struggling to keep my memories away.

"Care to explain what _hell_ means for you?" Did he have to be so specific? Fortunately we arrived at the park and found a bench away from the people, probably the kind of bench couples used to have a little privacy.

"Darkness" lowering my gaze I felt his concerned and curious look "Might as well tell you why I got into juvy in the first place"

"It would be a nice start" he said getting comfortable in his seat "Do you feel ok or do you want to go see a doctor?"

"I´m ok, my mom´s a nurse I´ll tell her what happened when I get home" I passed my hand though my hair stopping death when I remembered _who_ had touched it just minutes away.

"Breath James, you´re getting pale" I smiled at his words not looking at him "That's better".

"You saw the pictures in my study room, didn't you?"

"Yes…you seemed different" he put a thoughtful expression.

"I was different…I loved myself" I chuckled noticing his raised eyebrow with my peripheral vision "I did! I was the great James Diamond, the epitome of perfection…my hair was my greatest asset, then my washboard abs and my stylish wardrobe. Everything was perfect, not many people cared about my preferences and the ones who did, didn't give me shit about it…until Freddy Simmons enrolled in school…"

"Wait, wait…when you say preferences y-you mean that you´re…?"

"Gay" I frowned deeply not understanding his startled expression, he already knew about me, didn't he? "Anyway, things started small, a couple of falls, some insults…nothing I couldn't handle…until one day, he started yelling at Katie about his _fag_ brother…I snapped" the memory of that douchebag´s face when my fist first connected to his face made me smile "If it wasn't for a cop I could have killed him" telling this part was so easy "Apparently his dad was as much as a homophobic moron as his son, and thinking that some pussy had taught him a lesson made that bastard furious…the problem was that he had the big bucks, and he used all his monetary power to exempt me from community work and get me straight to juvy" I grimaced keeping my sight to the front not daring to look at Kendall "The only thing my dad´s lawyer could do was to give me three months with the promise to lessen that time if I behaved"

"How did three months turned into a year?" his voice was fixed and tense.

"Seventeen months" I clarified hearing him growl "On my first day was when I met _officer_ Lewitt…do you know what you have to do on your first day of jail?"

"Speaking out of movies…you have to get naked"

"Exactly. I remember not being embarrassed at all at the beginning, until I saw that men looking at me…he was disgusting…he had a hungry look in his eyes when he _scanned_ my whole body… before I knew it I was too dangerous to be in the low security area, so they sent me to the high security one…under the supervision of _officer_ Lewitt"

"Fuck" he hissed making me look at him, his hands were fisted, his knuckles white and his face tense "Please tell me he didn't do what I think he did to you" his words sounded like a plea.

"The second day he made some interns start a fight with me, I got really beat up and they blamed it all on me, for punishment I got caged" I ignored his words knowing that if I answered I could lose my confidence and never tell him the whole story "It was a special cell, no bars just a two squared yards room with a metal door and no windows, filled with darkness…I spent three days in there, with hardly any food or water, by the fourth day I was so weak I couldn't even stand for long, that's when the _officer_ decided to pay me a visit"

"James stop" he said weakly.

"He ordered me to strip saying that there had been a report saying that I had some kind of weapon…of course I didn't believed him and I refused, but you´ve seen him, he´s a strong guy and he was armed, he pointed his gun at me and repeated his orders…I was scared and I wanted to live, so I striped" tears were roaming through my cheeks reliving the pain and shame I went through "H-he started touching me…"

"James please…stop" I kept my eyes away from him clearing my throat.

"I knew what sex would be like for me, so I knew I would hurt if I wasn't prepared…I´d never imagined that it would feel like my body was splitting in half, like my ass was burning, like…"

"STOP!" I closed my mouth surprised by his scream "Stop, stop" he sobbed, alarmed I turned so fast I felt my neck ache, he had his hands covering his face but I could still see some tears dropping through his chin, he was shaking so bad I wanted to hug him and tell him that all of that was long forgotten, that I was ok…but I wasn't and I didn't want to lie to him.

"Every time you get caged you add a month to your sentence…"

"And every time…"

"He paid me a visit" I finished for him "Some were longer than others…other times he…"I swallowed "Brought friends…I-I was the pretty boy, I was a nice treat for that bunch of _guards_ used to have gang members and other kinds of convicts"

"That's why you stopped taking care of your appearance…"

"Yeah, I didn't want to look _appealing_ to anybody, but I couldn't do it entirety because my mom doesn't know_ that_ happened to me"

"Katie doesn't know either, does she?" I shook my head "how did you managed to do that?"

"Logan visited me…the _officer_ knew that I was supposed to attend to visiting hours in order to not raise any suspicions. No one knows me better than Logan, and he saw right through my charade and he talked to my dad, who consulted his lawyers to know if there was something he could do to take me away from that place…but they didn't have any proof" I smiled ominously "Until I bit his dick so hard I left my teeth marked…and they had all the proof they needed"

"Ugh…" he sounded disgusted.

"Yeah, he called my his cock sucking whore…I decided to act according to that name" he started cleaning his eyes reminding me that I cried myself "Feels good to finally tell someone all this shit" I confessed passing my hand trough my face.

"You haven't told anyone?" he looked at me frowning.

"Nope…Logan found out and he told my dad, my dad told my shrink and I just stay quiet and nod every time I see her" I let my head fall back looking at the sky.

"Why trust me? I´m nothing but an asshole, my own mother doesn't even stand me"

"Her loss" I smiled feeling calm "We got the _officer_, they took away his badge and planted a beautiful restriction order with his name on it"

"You saw him today…that's why you collapsed" it was more a statement than a question.

"Yeah…I feel awfully weak for doing it, but I freaked, I was so scared" I took a deep breath "The minutes after seeing him I was struggling to maintain my composure and not cry like a baby…I guess I forgot to bring oxygen to my body and my mind just… collapsed" I liked that word, it sounded so important and dramatic it didn't make me feel like a pussy.

"James…" I turned feeling his hand on my cheek and before I knew it I had his lips against mine.


	8. Chapter 8

Ugh that las chapter was sooo hard to write! First because it was 3am and second because I had no idea how to make James tell everything to Kendall! And the Kiss! Ahh that was a last minute thought hehe…but I still love it xD hope you do to!

I do not own BTR or RED (sadly )

And now for ch. 8!

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 8

James PoV

He was kissing me…HE WAS FUCKING KISSING ME! Oh God. I was frozen and completely astonished by his actions. The kiss was short and when we broke apart Kendall had a soft expression, his eyes were closed and his lips slightly parted.

"Shit" he said after opening his eyes "Shit, Shit!" he got away from me wide eyed completely freaked; I didn't even move although my heart was in the verge of an attack…too many emotions for one fucking day!

"Get away from me" I was glad my voice didn't tremble at all.

"J-James, I´m sorry…" he started not losing his startled expression, his hand reaching for me.

"Get the hell away from me!" I repeated myself before I stood up and started running to the nearest bus station praying for him to not follow me, I couldn't take more shit, I just wanted to go home, luckily the bus didn't take long and I got inside eager for some peace.

I searched my pockets looking for my phone and earplugs needing some music. After playing Hide by RED I closed my eyes leaning on the bus seat hearing the music in my head trying to forget that whole day.

Waste away  
>I'm crawling blind<br>Hollowed by what I left inside  
>For you, just you<br>I'm caught in place  
>But I ignore what I can't erase<p>

I will run and hide till memories fade away  
>And I will leave behind a love so strong<p>

Close my eyes theses voices say  
>Haunting me, I can't escape<br>For you, just you  
>Time will always wait<br>While I throw away what I can't replace

I will run and hide till memories fade away  
>And I will leave behind a love so strong.<p>

I will run and hide!  
>And I will leave behind!<p>

I will run and hide till memories fade away  
>And I will leave behind a love so strong!<p>

Was I running away? Maybe. Was I leaving love behind? No, in order to leave love behind I had to be loved by someone and Kendall certainly didn't love me, that kiss was probably just out of shame and pity. I shuddered at the thought of him knowing _everything_ about me…why did I tell him? He was an asshole so why trust him? Because even if he didn't have any feelings for me, I was pretty sure I cared about him a _lot_ and I wanted him to know about my past.

"Don't go there James" I whispered passing a hand through my face stopping a little too long in my lips…he had kissed me…he was gay…he had cried for me…didn't that count for something? Getting impatient I almost jumped out of the bus when it got to my stop, I walked home fast not looking around or stopping for nothing, as soon as I entered the house I leaned on the door feeling the weight of that _eventful_ day crushing me.

"James I didn't hear Kendall´s car, did you…?" I raised my eyes looking at my mother, she looked like she always did, beautiful and fragile, I didn't want her to suffer because of me but just like Logan, she knew me all too well "James what´s wrong?" she came near me piercing me with her hazel eyes, so similar to my own.

"M-me" I said softly before I started to slide from the door to the ground feeling more tears coming, she didn't try to make me talk, she just sat beside me and hugged me nesting my head in her chest whispering loving words while she caressed my hair.

We laid there for almost an hour, I had stopped crying a while ago, but I stayed there hugged to my mother´s waist sensing my sadness drift away.

"I know" I heard her say softly to my ears, I tensed immediately, she couldn't know! My dad had promised me that he wouldn't tell her! "I knew from the minute I saw you in that first visit" I felt something wet in my scalp, was she crying? "I was the one that told Logan that something was wrong with you, I knew that he would find out and would do something about it…I was dying…every time I saw you, you said that you were fine, that you just got into a fight, that it was normal…but I noticed the way you winced when you sat, I noticed the hickeys on your neck, I noticed the light escaping from your eyes" she hugged me tighter "My baby…but you wouldn't talk to me, like always you were protecting me, and I couldn't do anything for you because you didn't say anything…I was so glad you accepted all that to your father, I was glad that you were free from that bastard and that I got my son back" I moved to look at her.

"You didn't get your son back…I´m not the same person I was before"

"You are _my_ James, _my_ son…you were broken yes, but that only made you stronger" she cupped my face with her hands "I know that you´re scared, it´s all right to be…but you James, you have exceeded that darkness"

"No I haven't mom…I just ran from all of it, I´m weak and just a shadow of what I used to be" I put my hand on hers lowering my gaze.

"Yes you have…going to school every day, hugging your father, protecting your sister and me…that's not darkness, that's my son! That's you James, it´s true, you´re not the boy you used to be, you´re a man, a man that wakes up every day and fights to be a better person, to conquer all his fears…That. Is. Who. You. Are"

"How do you know that?" I felt hope and love rising flattering in my chest.

"Because I´m your mother" she smiled making her watery eyes shine "And I know everything, even the things you don't want me to know"

"I love you mom" I murmured before she gave me a soft kiss on the forehead.

"I love you too James, and it pains me to see you close to the world like this, I want you to try to really overcome your memories, because they are the only things keeping you away from being happy" she stood up making me follow her "Now, what do you want for dinner?"

Kendall PoV

I was such an idiot. He just told me that he had been raped and there I was fucking kissing him! I punched the wall feeling the pain of my knuckles as something I deserved. I had watched him ran away, scared of what I did; I had returned home and now was at my room hating myself. He had finally opened about his past, he had trusted me above all people and I had betrayed his trust assaulting him.

"Kendall!" I heard my stepfather scream from the living room "Get in here this instant!" He had just come back from a business trip, and probably just found out about my suspension. Knowing that I was going straight to a yelling contest I got up and walked to the living room.

"Do you need anything _dad_?" I asked arriving seeing my mom sitting on the sofa next to him.

"What is this that I heard? Did you got in a fight?" he said in a cold voice looking at me with hatred.

"Yes, but I´ll back to school tomorrow and thanks to my good grades, none of this goes to my record" I crossed my arms faking a bored face "Are you done being the _responsible_ father? Can I go now?"

"How do you let your son speak to me like that?" he asked staring at my mom.

"Kendall, respect your father" said my mom in a small voice, why couldn't she be like James mother? Caring, sweet, fun…like a mother should be.

"I´m _sorry_" I said dripping venom.

"You´re forbidden to go out with your friends, or the mall or any place except from school" he started "And you add to your chores list washing my car"

"Yes sir" If James had endured that hell in juvy I could endure living in this house some more months.

"Leave now" he said bitterly.

I guessed Dave wasn't _so bad_, he did yell at my mom for every single thing he wanted, but he hadn't touch her once…yeah that was probably because he was scared of me kicking his ass if he dared to, but what could happen when I left to college? I didn't want to think about it. Walking back to my room I decided that if anything I could do to gain James´ forgiveness, it would probably start by fixing his plane, so I grabbed my dad´s tools and walked out to the garage feeling my phone vibrating on my pocket, I took a look at it seeing that it was Carlos.

"Hey dude" I answered.

"How´s your date going?" I flinched at his words, if he knew how awesome my date had been.

"It wasn't a date, we were just going to the mall for some clothes" maybe having opened up to him hadn't be the greatest idea.

"Ah come on Kendall! There has to be something juicy! I´m bored and I need to talk to someone, at least hearing your dating drama can help me get a girlfriend" He was the perfect person to make me smile even when I was this sad.

"I kissed him" I started looking at the plane´s parts, maybe I couldn't fix it, but I could do a new one using some of the parts of the old one, a part of me told me that James would appreciate it.

"Did he punch you?" I heard him chuckled.

"No, but he did freaked and tell me to stay away from him" I explained looking for my notebook to start the sketch of the new plane.

"Ouch…and are you giving up?"

"I don't know…its complicated, but I am looking forward for a chance to tell him that I´m sorry and see what happens" Found it. Putting my phone on speaker I started drawing the plane. The original toy was a classic plane, which for me, represented _old_ James, the stylish and modern boy…I decided that this new plane had to be like the new James, the James that I deeply cared about, the James that I knew to be strong, beautiful and fun "A jet it is" I said out loud.

"A jet what?" asked Carlos from my phone.

"I´m building one for James"

"Kendall, if he isn't gay…why bother?" I frowned at his words "Isn´t that bad for you?"

"He is gay Carlos, he just told me" I chewed my pencil before I started drawing smiling at the ease of doing it.

"Oh, and what else did he tell you? I feel like I´m missing something, you don't sound like yourself" he chuckled "And I know I´m being _mature_ Carlos, deal with it!"

"I like _mature_ Carlos right now" I grinned "I just hope that he will be there tomorrow, not just for the project, but because I want to talk to him…"

"And see him as a cowboy" mocked my friend.

"And see him as a cowboy" I repeated smiling before I hear the doorbell rang "Have to go, but I´ll call you later, bye"

"Take care dude!" I ended the call and walked to open the door only to find _blondie_ at my doorstep.

"Delivery for Kendall Knight" she smiled.

"Hi, did you have any trouble picking this stuff?"

"Not at all, my friend helped me a lot" she gave me a bag and two cowboy hats, I paid her and went back to the garage and started to work.

James PoV

I felt like a big weight was lifted from my shoulders. I felt calm and _good_. The only thing ruining my mood was a guy named Kendall Knight and that god damn kiss. How was I supposed to look at him tomorrow at school? And thinking of the blond wearing cowboy clothes didn't help either.

"Why are you moping?" I took my eyes from a stupid TV movie I was watching only to see my sister staring at me.

"I´m not" I turned back to the movie not having any idea of the movie´s plot.

"Yeah you are…I´m guessing things weren't good with Kendall" she sat beside me and started playing with my hand.

"Nope" I breathed "Things are complicated with him right now"

"Brother, I don't want you to be single your entire life, and Kendall was a pretty good catch" He was, even if his timing wasn't appropriate his kiss had been a pleasant surprise. But I had to get scared and ruin everything.

"He did kiss me" I said wanting to trust my sister, she widen her eyes looking at me.

"And when were you planning to tell me?" she punched my arm playfully.

"I don't know, I already told you it´s complicated…" my phone rang signalizing I got a text.

"Let me guess, Logan?" Katie asked taking the remote of my hand and flipping the channels.

"No, it´s an unknown number" remembering the_ officer_ I started panicking before I opened it and read it:

**Look at your doorstep – Kendall.**

Losing no time I got up and went straight to the front door, when I opened it I found a plastic bag, inside was the cowboy clothes I needed for the next day and a small white box. Letting the bag on the floor I graved the box and opened it finding a small wooden jet with my initials engraved on the back of each wing. I was so detailed and intricate that I thought that the blonde had paid somebody else to make it for me. It was then when I found a small note at the bottom of the box.

_James:_

_I made this plane using the pieces left from the old one. I know it doesn't mean as much as the other one did, but I hope this one can give you strength too._

_I´m sorry about today…I hope we could talk tomorrow after the presentation._

_Love Kendall._


	9. Chapter 9

I´m happy, school wasn't so hellish, apparently the true hell will be in a couple of weeks! Niceeeeeeee!

And for those who were wondering, the plane is small, tiny small, like 3 inches small, thats why James didn't lose it in juvy xD he kept it hidden. And the plane Kendall did for him is about the same size xD.

Enjoy!

Warning: Fluffiness at maximum!

CHAPTER 9

James PoV

Love Kendall. _Love_ Kendall. I closed my eyes trying not to smile like a fifteen year old girl. Ugh, I disgusted myself, how could I be so excited about a single _word_? It could be just a figure of speech and mean nothing at all.

_Knock Knock._

"James sweetie, are you awake?" said my mom from the other side of the room. It was time to get ready for school; I felt like weeks had passed sense the last day I went there instead of just two and a half days.

"Yes mom, I´ll be out in a minute" I answered burying my face in my pillow, a part of me wanted to report myself sick and wait ´till Monday to gain strength to see Kendall again, but the rational and responsible part of me knew that I had to go and present that stupid project.

"James, can I come in?" I frowned at my mother´s words.

"Sure" I sat in my bed seeing her enter the bedroom; she smiled at me and sat beside me.

"How are you?" such a simple question and I had no idea how to answer it.

"Mom, do you…?" I trailed off, what if she thought I was an idiot for thinking that I might love Kendall? I did have a crush on him from a while, but _love_…that was a strong word.

"Why did you freak out yesterday?" she took my hand gently "Was it something Kendall did?"

"He kissed me" I bit my lip "And I got terrified and ran…then he left something for me at night" I got up and walk to my bedside table, opened the drawer, took the small white box and handed it to her.

"Oh James, it´s beautiful" she breathed caressing the plane like it was made of porcelain, then her eyes went straight to the box where the note resided. Fuck I forgot I left it there, now she would read it and know exactly what was going on with me "_Love_ Kendall" she whispered raising her eyebrow before looking at me.

"I´m freaking out…d-did he meant it? Or w-was it just a figure of speech?" I rambled messing my hair.

"How do you feel about him?"

"Will you please stop asking questions and give me some answers?" I sat on the ground looking at her "Any advice?" I rested my elbows in my knees.

"I did see a spark with you too, but everything it´s up to you James, you have to know how you feel about him and take a chance" she sighed "Sometimes love scares us, but there´s nothing like the first love, it comes so unexpected that most of people run away from it…last night when I told you that I wanted you to overcome your memories, I meant it and maybe Kendall is the person that could help you do it"

"My knight in shining armor" I joked lamely "I told him the truth" I lowered my gaze.

"How did it go?" she whispered.

"He didn't want to hear it, he kept _begging_ me to stop, but I couldn't do it…he cried for me, and he asked me why I trusted him" I grabbed the plane from her hand smiling "Could you love someone after days of meeting him?"

"I didn't think so, but seeing you, makes me believe that you could" she ruffled my hair "Now let´s get ready, you have to look better than Heath Ledger to get your cowboy" I rolled my eyes.

"I guess I have to get used to that kind of jokes" I got up and watched my mother leave the room.

I showered in record time and put my jeans on, I didn't know if I should go already dressed or take the clothes and dress in the school restroom. After a little hesitation I decided for the second option graving a bag and putting the clothes inside. Then I put on a simple tee and my converse. I was ready.

"I´m so not ready" I murmured sitting in my father´s car; I had a déjà vu kind of feeling. Five weeks ago I was in this same place about to meet the guy that turned my world upside down, and now I was about to…what was I supposed to do? Just get inside tell him that I loved him and kiss him? No way, I doubted I had the balls to do it.

"James, you have to get out of the car in the next 30 minutes or you´ll have detention" smiled my dad "Your mom talked to me"

"Later dad, right now I´m focusing on getting out of the car" I breathed before almost jumping of my seat when someone bumped in my window.

"Hey James!"Yelled Carlos smiling "Come on, your cowboy´s waiting!" he said repeatedly knocking the window until he got on my nerves.

"FINE!" I shouted exiting the vehicle "Damn, you´re so annoying!"

"Kendall said ´Make sure James gets his ass inside the school´ and as his best friend I had to do it"

"Bye son!" I turned to wave at my dad before he left.

"So, about the plane…" I looked at Carlos who had a _weird_ expression, it was a mix between fear and shame "I´m sorry" he looked at the floor "The whole destruction thing was an accident, and instead of apologizing, I wrapped it up and gave it to you…"

"I already hit you, there´s nothing else I can do" he smiled sheepishly "I´m not mad about the plane anymore, I guess that I forgave you the minute…"

"Kendall kissed you?" he laughed when I felt a blush creeping in my cheeks "Kendall and James sitting in the park, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" he started singing making kissing faces "I know, if you talked to me it meant that you had forgiven me…Logan told me that"

"Does Logan know everything? He´s in another fucking city and knows more than all of us" I chuckled.

"I think he´s lying about wanting to be a doctor…I bet he´s studying to be a CIA agent!" he started making an angry face "I told him I wanted that job!"

"Okay" I kept my smile, Carlos seemed like an interesting and fun guy.

"Jamie!" I winced at the name before Camille came to greet me "How are you? It´s been so boring without you here"

"It´s not like you didn't have my phone number this whole time" why did she seem suddenly annoying? Maybe it was that she was using _that _name "And don't call me Jamie please"

"Aww, do I remind you of your mom _Jamie_?" she joked laughing

"Really Camille, don't" I begged her, only one person called me that and the last thing I needed was to remember _said_ person.

"Jamie, Jamie, Jamie" she started saying thinking that I was joking.

"I believe he said to stop that Camille" I tensed hearing Kendall´s words and not daring to look at him.

"Fuck you _Kendall_" she growled "Let´s go James" she grasped my hand and pulled me to school "Gosh I can´t stand him!" she screamed rolling her eyes "He´s such a hypocrite, there he goes defending you like he hadn't made your life miserable the minute he saw you"

"Why do you hate him?" I asked as we walked to our lockers. Part of me wanted to know a little more about Kendall´s past, but the most part of me wanted to ditch Camille and run to find the blond.

"What´s not to hate? He´s an asshole" she commented like it was settled as she started to gather her stuff from her locker.

"Yeah I know that, but he hates you too, and I think there´s too much dislikeness to be just because he is an _asshole_" Officially that was my third most hated word, Kendall was a lot of things but an asshole. I hated when he said it, like it was an irrefutable statement.

"He _is_ an asshole" her features darkened "Who ditches his friends at the moment he meets someone with more status and starts making their lives miserable" she took a deep breath leaning in her locker "We used to be friends when we were kids, the five of us: Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Jo and I. Normally we weren't the most popular guys, I know I´m weird so that's not a surprise, Carlos was the class clown, Kendall was the team leader, Jo was pretty blonde and Logan, the nerd" I raised my eyebrow when she smiled fondly "Logan was bullied a lot, but Kendall and Carlos were always there to protect him…until he moved and Kendall found his first boyfriend"

"Boyfriend?" I was not jealous. I was certainly not jealous.

"Yep" she murmured "Jett, a hottie I might say…he…I don't know what he did to Kendall, he started to snap at everybody, threatening and beating the ones that made fun of his sexuality…he changed" she grimaced "And Jo and Carlos changed with him, leaving me alone because I didn't want to be a part of their club…one time I got tired of him and yelled at him that he was an asshole, that I was sure his dead father would agree with me… I got him where it hurt, and he hated me ever sense"

"The first day, you said that he wasn't that bad" I looked at my clock, I still had twenty minutes to change and get to class.

"He´s not, I know the Kendall that was my best friend is still in there…and I know that he hates me for what I said, and I hate myself too for saying it and for that our friendship is broken beyond repair, but I think someday he might meet someone that…" she cut herself giving me a funny look "Why the sudden interest?"

"No reason…look at the time! Have to go" I escaped from her directly to the restrooms, I didn't know what that Jett had done to Kendall, but I didn't want to know, all I wanted to do was go and talk to him.

Kendall PoV

He didn't want to see me. He hated me. Period

"Quit mopping" said Carlos sitting beside me. We were already in our classroom and I was completely dressed up, I had a white cowboy hat, a green shirt, my jeans, dark brown chaps and boots. The minute I walked through the door everybody started whistling, if they thought I looked hot they would drool when they saw James.

"I defended him from Camille and he ditched me anyway" I started playing with a small toy gun I brought.

"She´s the only friend he has here"

"Don't go into _mature_ Carlos mode, please…I don't need someone to tell me how bad I´m doing"

"Fine" he smiled goofily "James and Kendall, sitting in the park, ouch!" he whined when I smacked him the head.

"I have a better idea, shut up Carlitos" I started laughing at his pout until my eyes saw a tall, dark and sexy cowboy walk inside the classroom. Hello boner!

"Oh. My. God" I head Jo say from behind me, and she was absolutely right. James was wearing a black hat, a black and silver shirt; black pants, chaps and boots. Thanks to that attire his eyes looked darker and mysterious.

The minute our eyes locked it was like everybody disappeared, leaving just the two of us. I could see so many emotions manifest in the hazel orbs. Maybe he didn't hate me; maybe we could at least be friends, at this point I would take anything he was willing to give me. Then the whistles and howls started making us go back to the real world.

"Thanks for stopping Camille earlier" he said sitting in his place waiting for the teacher to show.

"No problem" was all I could say before we heard a small _ahem_ from the door, I turned to see a secretary standing there.

"Mr. Smith is sick" was all she said before leaving.

"Free period!" Carlos shouted running from the classroom followed by everybody except James and I. Leaving us alone and free to talk.

"I´m…" I started turning to see him.

"Don't say you´re sorry or I´ll fucking hit you" he growled taking the hat of and putting his hand on his face "I didn't sleep last night all confused about that kiss and your gift, so don't fucking say that you´re sorry"

"Ok, then I´m not sorry" I smiled, so he had been thinking about me.

"Why did you kiss me?" he took away his hands keeping his gaze lowered, I shift uncomfortable not wanting him to see my tight pants.

"Because I wanted to" I answered truthfully "I wanted to do it sense I saw you for the first time"

"O-on your letter…"

"I meant it" I smiled starting to feel hope, I carefully raised my hand and cupped his face making him look at me "I had a crush in you this whole time, but in these days I´ve fallen for you, hard…knowing that you trusted me above everyone else made me realized that I love you…and I know it´s way too soon to say it, but that´s how I feel and I wanted you to know that even if you don't feel the same and want to go slower or just be friends, I don't care as long as I´m in your life, learning from you, giving you strength, seeing how you overcome the darkness, how you care about your family…damn we even love the same music" his eyes were closed and his breathes were slow, he looked calm and relaxed…just before he raised his hand, grabbed me by the head and crushed his lips in mine. This kiss wasn't like the other, in this we were both participating and battling for dominance, our lips dancing together forcefully at first and then slower and more intimate, just transmitting all the emotions we held inside. I had no idea how long were we kissing until our lungs screamed for air and we had to break it.

"That's how you kiss somebody" he mocked resting his forehead in mine making me smile.

"Fuck you diamond" he frowned looking amused.

"I was going to say ´you wished´ but I can see that you do" he said looking at my crotch.

"How do you do it?" I straighten looking at him in the eye "How can you joke about boners and things like that with everything that happened?"

"I guess I´m a sick person" he smiled sadistically "I didn't lose any sexual desire after all _that_…I just started fearing people´s contact, that's why my dad hugs me every day, my shrink recommended it… I also don't want to bottom anyone anytime soon"

"That's why you freaked out yesterday" I sighed feeling so bad for what I´ve done not really putting attention at his last statement.

"No" I looked at him questioning his words "I freaked because my feelings scared me…I´m not afraid of you touching me, but I…"

"Why not?"

"What are you, a four year old?" he smiled caressing my cheek "So many questions"

"Answer at least one of them" He locked his eyes in mine before he leaned and kiss me again, sweeter this time.

"There´s only one answer that really counts" I felt his thumb in my mouth pressing my lips "Because I love you…I´m the moron that fell in love with the guy who used to bully him because he found out that the said bully turned out to be a guy that loves his friends, that is funny, caring and certainly NOT and asshole, also because that guy saved him from himself, and made him happy for the first time in years"

"You´re so corny" I smiled at his fake offended expression before shutting him up with another kiss.


	10. Chapter 10

New chapter! Ugh that last chapter was so sweet and cheesy it gave me a cavity! I loved it too, but I´m more of an angsty kind of person hehe. So, I have no school on Friday meaning: a long weekend! YAY! Maybe I´ll finish this fic this week, I have a couple more ideas for other fics (Kames and Jagan, yeah!) but that will have to wait a little longer XD

Thank you everyone for your reviews!

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 10

James PoV

Kissing Kendall was proving to be one of my favorite things in the world. We were on his couch because he was grounded and didn't have permission to go anywhere besides school, so as the good boyfriend –I felt goosebumps every time I thought about it- I was, I decided to go home with him; originally we were sitting arm to arm watching a movie, now he was lying on his back I was _almost _on top of him. The kiss was lazy and not heated at all, I didn't care, after all we had our first –technically second- kiss just some hours ago.

"The movie´s over" Kendall said smiling while he touched my hair gently.

"Who cares?" I hid my face on his neck feeling his hands caressing my back "If you keep that I´m going to fall asleep"

"Do it, you look tired" I closed my eyes enjoying the sensation of having a warm body next to me feeling comfortable and happy.

"What would your mother think if she finds me like this?" I started to get up but he didn't let me.

"Fuck her" he upped himself searching for my lips but I stopped him firmly putting my hand on his chest keeping him down.

"What happened between you and your mom?"

"Nothing, I just can´t stand her" he said avoiding my gaze.

"I told you the most important secret in my life, you own me" he glared at me clearly not happy with the emotional blackmail before he sighed and closed his eyes.

"Before my dad died four years ago we were a happy family, almost like yours, but after he died things changed" I putted my hands on his chest resting my chin on them waiting for him to continue "He died in a car accident, I was with him and we were arguing. I started yelling at him and he wasn't entirely focused on the road trying to calm me down…we didn't see a trailer heading our way" I notice a small solitary tear slide from his closed eye "I wasn't wearing my seatbelt and he jumped to protect me…we were hit so hard that his spine broke killing him instantly" he opened his eyes making me catch my breath, they were glassy and light "I know my mom blames me for his death"

"You don´t…"

"She said it to me" he interrupted me, his voice strangled "If I wasn't gay he would have lived, she said…if I used the fucking seatbelt he would have lived…she kept going on and on, at first I believed her…later the police officer told me that the trailer driver was the one guilty, not me…it was my freshman year in high school, I was just dealing with my sexuality, I didn't need a mother that hated me…"

"Why did she blame your preferences? What were you and your dad arguing about?"

"He was taking me to a therapist, he said that given that I hadn't that much trust in him to talk about everything, he wanted me to have someone because he didn't know _mature _Carlos" I smiled hearing him, but decided not to interrupt him "I was telling him that I wasn't crazy, that I didn't need a shrink, and making a whole tantrum out of it" he sounded his throat "My dad was gone, I´d just started high school and my mom hated me…let´s say that I wasn't the happiest person"

"Camille told me about you two"

"When?" he frowned looking at me.

"Before first period, I asked why she hated you and she said that you used to be friends" I blushed at his raised eyebrow "I was curious, I wanted to know more about you"

"Yeah we were, until I met Jett" he bit his lip "Did she tell you about Jett?"

"Only that he´s your ex and that thanks to him you changed"

"Yes and no" he chuckled "I did date him, but not that much…he´s Dave´s nephew" he looked at me like he was expecting some sort of reaction.

"Who´s Dave?" he laughed.

"I forgot how little you know about me" he kissed me before explaining himself "Dave is my stepfather"

"Oh…that´s inconvenient"

"Yeah, but he also hated him so it was cool, he did give me a nice advice" I raised my eyebrow "Assert your right to make mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault and make sure they know that"

"Fortune cookie?" I joked making him smile.

"Internet or facebook probably…I took it as my mantra, being who I was not caring about other people´s feelings… when some guys started teasing me I started to fight back, feeling good about making them suffer…I don't know when that changed into bulling…"

"And that´s how the infamous reign of Kendall Knight started" I mocked hating the face he was making, it was something between self hatred and a sadistic smile, if my dad was here and decided to name that face he would use something like "_Asshole face_" I said out loud without realizing it until he looked at me quizzically.

"Huh?"

"You´re making the _asshole face_" I rolled my eyes "Lousy name I know, but it´s the face you make every time you hate yourself"

"If you say so" he smiled pulling me to another kiss, this time a little harder, I moaned when I felt his tongue against my lower lip asking for entrance, I parted my lips granting him access moaning at the feeling. I ran my hands through his hair deepening the kiss.

"James…" he breathed between kisses "Getoff…" I didn't give him time to finish before I assaulted his mouth again "G-get off…ngh" he moaned; I stopped what I was doing to really look at him, his eyes were closed and his breathes hasty, I frowned trying to move my legs feeling _something_ right under my knee "Fuck" he hissed digging his nails in my lower back making me instantly hard. Smiling I pressed my knee into his crotch making Kendall moan harder, he knew I was doing it on purpose and because of that he stopped asking me to get off, he just waited for my next move. I lowered my head and started kissing his neck at the same time I moved my knee against his clothed erection until I felt his leg right between mine making me gasp.

"Two can play that game" he breathed nibbling my ear with his lips. I closed my eyes prey of the pleasure I felt just before Kendall moved his legs to hug my waist with them and rammed right into me.

"Kendall" I panted feeling his hands inside my shirt touching my skin while he continued thrusting making me see stars, then I felt his hand slide down to the hem of my pants and a had a flashback of a calloused hand booting my pants and…_Don´t go there James!_ I closed my eyes hard trying to go back to the moment.

"Ahem" we stopped death when we heard a small voice from the other side of the room, I turned to see an old Hispanic woman looking at us with a raised eyebrow and a not friendly expression. Knowing I was completely flushed I got off from Kendall and sat on the other end of the couch "Afternoon Kendall" she said when he sat, also flushed and his hair a mess…mine probably looked the same.

"Hi Maria" he said not looking at her "Its Friday, you´re not supposed to come on Fridays"

"Your mom called me to come and make sure you were still here" now her gaze turned to me "And you are?"

"I-I´m James, ma´am" I sounded my throat "Kendall´s boyfriend" I saw him smile at my words while he tried to comb his hair with his hands.

"Sense when?" now she looked at Kendall.

"8 am" he smiled standing up and walking towards her "Anything else? We were kind of busy" I slapped myself in the face, he did not just said that.

"Oh really" Maria smiled, I knew that smile, my mom used to smile like that every time she was about to ground me or do something I hated only to punish me "Well in that case I´ll stay longer and watch a movie with you guys, James would you like something to eat?"

"Sure, thank you" I said before she left the room and Kendall turned to look at me fuming.

"Do you believe her?"

"I do" I got up smiling "You never say things like that to a woman Kendall, they always take it wrong and do things like this"

Kendall PoV

I rolled my eyes at James´ words, he had a mother that was always there and a sister, he knew about women but I was still kind of mad about Maria being in the house. She had interrupted a really heated make out session with my sexy boyfriend; I wasn't going to let that pass like it was nothing.

"Your mom sent her, it means that she cares about you" he whispered hugging me from my back.

"It means that she didn't want me to upset her husband" I answered bitterly "I know that with your mom you can´t think about a mother not loving her son, but it happens and my mom´s like that" I put my hands on top of his.

"You´re still living here, that…"

"This is my house" I smiled turning to face him "My dad left it to me, along with the antique store, she can´t kick me out…she tried to do it when I turned 18 but my dad´s lawyer came to my rescue and told me the truth…but I didn't tell her or Dave, she _forgave_ me and let me go back…I think I´ll break the news when they get on my nerves"

"Antique store?" I started to notice that every time he was uncomfortable with a certain topic he changed the subject.

"I´ll take you later" he smiled "I think it was a good thing Maria came"

"Yeah my forgotten boner doesn't think the same" I took his hand smiling at his joke, he had a really perverted sense of humor.

"I just think you are not ready" I passed my hand through his hair "Don't be so desperate, we have all the time of the world, we will go slow, I don't want to hurt you" I kissed his forehead.

"I love you" he said in a small voice looking at me in the eye taking my breath away at the beauty of his own "And it´s true, I-I had a bad memory just now and I almost panicked…and it was just making out! Maybe I´m not as good as I think I am"

"Then we´ll make you better together" I rested my hands on his hips.

"Kendall" I turned to see Maria standing at the door "Could you come and talk to me? Alone" I frowned not knowing what she wanted to tell me by myself.

"Go, I´ll watch the game or something" said James pushing me away.

"Ok" I walked to the kitchen where the housemaid was waiting for me.

"How long have you known this guy?" she asked.

"About five weeks" I smiled, so little time but it felt like a lifetime.

"Five weeks?" she looked at me like I was crazy "Kendall last time you went out with a guy after knowing him for so little time it didn't end up well for you" she took some glasses from the cabinet and put them on the table.

"I´s not the same Maria" I started pouring iced tea inside the glasses "I love him"

"Love? LOVE! Por el amor de Dios!" she screamed clearly mad "You can´t love someone this fast, Kendall I taught you better that that!"

"I know but I do love him" I put my hands on her shoulders making her look at me in the eye "He´s the best guy I´ve ever met, he´s caring, brave…sexy…Maria I don't know if it´s love, but I´m sure it´s something deep and beautiful, and nothing you say it´s going to change that"

"He is cute" she sighed "But I won´t be happy about this relationship until I know him better"

"Don't worry" I kissed her cheek "Now, let´s eat, James!" I called for him.

"Someone just parked in your driveway" he said going inside the kitchen.

"It must be your mom…" _Slam!_ We heard the door, that wasn't my mom that was Dave and clearly not in a good mood.

"Kendall!" he screamed looking for me "Why is my car still dirty? I told you I wanted it cleaned, if you´ll be living under my roof you´ll do as I say" I clenched my teeth.

"I was busy" I answered before he came into view, he looked at me and then his eyes went straight to James "Who´s this? I told you, you´re grounded! No visitors, no nothing! I bet the whore of your mother gave you permission, didn't she?" I saw a tiny flinch in James´ body at the word, now Dave was making me angry.

"No, she doesn't know, she sent Maria to check on me" I talked calmly "And don't you dare call her like that" I growled looking at him in the eye smiling at his feared expression.

"Or what? You´ll hit me?" he said, I wished he didn't give me any ideas "Stop living in dream land Kendall, I don't know why you defend her if the only thing she does is complain about the shitty son she has, the fag that caused her first husband´s death" I was shaking trying not to kill him.

"Kendall…" I heard James´ voice "Kendall" I turned slowly and he grabbed my hand before taking me out of the house followed by the man´s screams.

"If you walk out that door you´ll never get inside again! I took you in once I won´t do it again!"

"Get in" said James signaling my car and the passenger seat, I did as he told me and he got in the driver´s seat before starting the engine and leaving the house.


	11. Chapter 11

Huh, that last chapter was unexpected even for me haha the things that come to mind when my fingers touch the keyboard xD hahaha oh well I have a big test tomorrow, Materials Mechanic Behavior…yeah interesting name I know, and it´s fun too ahh I love college…anyway! I need to get the stress out of my mind so Here´s the new chapter!

As always BTR is own by Nick and the antique store is something I made up xD

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 11

Kendall PoV

I breathed trying to calm myself, I thanked God for James, I knew that if I had been there a couple of more minutes I might had hit Dave.

"Where are we going?" I asked the brunette who smiled at me and raised his shoulders "Really?"

"My plan was to get you out of that house, I didn't put attention on the details" I rolled my eyes before resting on the seat enjoying being the copilot, it had been a while sense that happened.

"We left our backpacks on the living room. Shit!" I hissed, I couldn't go back in there anytime soon and I had tons of homework for Monday.

"Can you call Maria and ask her to take them?" He said strangely calm about the whole day.

"I´ll call her tomorrow" I closed my eyes feeling suddenly tired.

"Will I continue driving around the city or will you tell me where do you want to go?" I heard him say.

"I have some clothes in Carlos´ house, I can crash there for the weekend…but right now let´s head downtown, I wanna show you something" I opened my eyes before putting on some music seeing James smile when Afterlife began to play.

"Which other bands do you like?" he asked.

"Disturbed, Daughtry, Breaking Benjamin…you?" I looked at him.

" Red, Skillet and the ones you said" we exchanged a look "I like pop too" I opened my eyes in fake horror "Yeah I´m a big Adam Lambert fan" now my jaw was on the floor.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah" he appeared thoughtful and his eyes darkened gloomily.

"What´s wrong?"

"Nothing, just remembering some old stuff" I found that I didn't liked when he closed his feelings to me, in those days I had gotten used to know everything that happened inside his head –sometimes later than sooner, but I did anyways- but a part of me told me that it was impossible to continue like that forever, everybody had the right to keep secrets.

"Turn right" I grinned when the building of my dad´s Antique store came into view, he raised his eyebrow reading the sign.

"Is this _your_ antique store?" he asked openmouthed seeing the not so conventional building, it was an old colonial house but perfectly taken care of "No wonder you have this car"

"You snatched yourself a rich boyfriend" I winked at him making him laugh "The house it´s not much because Dave can´t maintain it properly, but this is mine and with the help of Mr. García I´m making this place what my father always dreamed of" he parked in front of the store not taking his eyes away from it.

"This was built around the 1800´s" he said exiting the car "By the German colonists" I crooked my eyebrow at his words, he looked like a kid in Christmas "The wooden door, the windows, Wow!" he started touching the walls like they were made of crystal "I knew something good was coming out of moving here"

"Ouch" I spoke putting my hand on my chest "Thank you for the love James"

"I´m having my own geeky moment, deal with it" he smiled looking at me "Are you going to let me in anytime soon?"

"If I knew this old house was going to take your attention away from me I wouldn't have taken you here" I rolled my eyes finding it cute how exited he looked about the house "Why are you so exited?" I asked taking the keys to open the door.

"I was going to study arts and American history at NYU before juvy…I love all of this" explained James making me frown.

"Are you repeating senior year?" I let him pass before going inside myself smiling at the light I noticed in his eyes, it was almost like seeing the James from the pictures, James before juvy.

"Yup" he started to walk through the store amazed at the unique things we had.

"My dad loved history, he used to roam through the city to find this kinds of things, he called them his treasures" I turned on the lights gaining a small gasp from James, he had the same look my father used to have every time he saw a new addition to the store "Then we restored them and sold them to collectors or museums…that's how I got to be so good at carpentry and made your plane in a matter of hours" I took his hand "Come on, let´s go to the workshop" we walked to the back of the house where my dad´s workshop was, it was a big room filled with the smell of wood and paint, inside there were three tables each destined for some kind of work: chisel, paint or fixing "My dream is to be a professional hockey player, but this is my back up plan, I want this place to go back to what it used to be… I love carpentry and I´m good at it, maybe I can rescue some of my dad´s old clients and restore this place" I looked around having a warm feeling inside my heart remembering the times I had with my dad in there "My mom hated this place, she said that it would never be a real job…I heard them yell at each other about the importance of money so many times that it didn't surprised me that she married Dave just two years after my father´s death, bummer that Dave is a greedy bastard and doesn't like anybody touching his money" James was leaning on one of the tables looking at me with sad eyes "Shitty life, right?"

"I´m starting to hate your mom and I don't even know her" he said in a small voice, like he didn't want to feel like that "She is a bitch"

"Yeah well, thankfully I have Maria, my fake grandma" I walked towards him and put my hands on his neck slowly caressing his jaw making him smile "She said that you´re on tryout, she need to know you better before she gives her permission to date" I leaned and kissed him slowly "She didn't believed me that I love you" I nibbled his lower lip making him moan "And she interrupted a great makeout session" I kissed him once again feeling his hands on my hips and his thumbs under my shirt making me shudder when one of them went inside my waist band caressing my hip bone.

"I was better…that she…found us instead…of your mom" he said between kisses.

"I can hardly believe that we´ve been together for less than a day" I rested my head on his shoulder "I feel like you were always there, like we´ve been like this forever"

"Same here…are there more rooms in this place?" he started to toy with my hair, twisting it between his fingers.

"I thought we agreed on waiting for sex" I mocked feeling his chest rise with laughter.

"I´m serious, maybe you could adapt this place and live here, you´re eighteen, you don't have to put up with all that shit every day" I lowered my hands and passed them to his sides noticing a slight discomfort in him, I wanted to be able to touch him without scaring him, but I knew that it would take work and patience.

"Maybe, I don't know" I said taking his hand "Come on I wanna show you what I´m working on" we walked to the last table where laid a tiny dining table "This was first made fifty years ago, it was in pretty bad shape when I found it, it was in an abandon house near Maria´s home…I bought it and decided it was worth my time" he began to look at the chairs, they were just the size needed for a baby doll or a small girl "I don't want to sell it, I want to give it to someone…I don't know, a sick girl or something, someone that appreciates life and little things like these"

James PoV

I watched his eyes glow as he spoke. I was seeing a different side of Kendall, a side I knew only some people got to see. _His best side_.

The shop was an amazing place, filled with _treasures_ and stunning antiques. I respected Kendall´s father not only because he had been an amazing father for him, but because he understood the true meaning of history and it´s beauty. I really wished I´d met him.

"Maybe we could visit my mom at the hospital sometime and go to the children's area" I stroked his back "You must be pretty good with your hands" I rested my chin on his shoulder smiling at his laugh getting the wrong meaning at my words…like always "This looks really good, I want to see it when it´s done" I continued ignoring him.

"Yeah well, I planned on working on it this weekend…before you" he chuckled "A week ago I was fuming in my room hating you for being near Camille, and now I´m_ here_ with _you_"

"A week ago I was cleaning my face from your strawberry smoothie" I hugged him from his back "I remember the first day I saw you as a bully, I couldn't believe you were the one laughing at me"

"Sorry about all that" he murmured.

"Like I said to Carlos, I already hit you and you apologized, so I don't have anything else to say" I smiled resting my face on the crook of his neck and we stayed like that for a moment just enjoying the closeness. I felt so in peace being this close to someone that wasn't my mother, my shrink would think…my shrink, Kelly! I had completely forgotten about the appointment "Oh fuck" I whispered to myself.

"What?" he asked keeping his eyes closed humming a song I didn't know.

"I forgot I had a date" he opened his eyes and eyed me frowning "With a hot girl" I mocked.

"Oh really" he didn't sound amused at all.

"Yeah, she loves me and I see her every week at least" he started to unlock from our hug making me open my mouth in disbelief, he was jealous!

"Then you should tell her that you have a boyfriend now, and that you won´t…" he stopped himself not looking at me, before he took a deep breath, I almost heard a small _click_ from his head "Doctor, friend, shrink?"

"Shrink" I crossed my arms flattered at his jealousy but not really happy about it "Are you always that possessive?"

"More" he sighed turning around finally looking at me "I can´t help it…but I´ll try not to be"

"We´ll have to work on that" I smiled "How about we go to my place for dinner?"

"Ok" he kissed me before backing up "Have you told them about the _officer_?" I closed my eyes not wanting to think about him.

"No" I heard a frustrated sight from my boyfriend.

"You have to tell them James"

"Why?" I opened my eyes glaring at him "It´s not their problem, and I don´t want to worry them"

"Logan said you would say that" he grimaced "You´re not alone in this James, your family loves you, don't you think you owe them some trust?"

"I owe them a lot of things, and that's exactly the case, if my mom finds out that the _officer_ is in the same city as I am, she would freak and probably want to move somewhere else…I don't want to go anywhere, I´m happy here and if the price is being in constant watch for that _man_ I´m willing to pay it"

"Happiness isn't something you have to pay" he took my hand looking at me in the eye "I´ll trust you on this one, but be sure I´ll tell your dad if I see something wrong, am I clear?"

"Yes sir" I laughed "Now I´m hungry, let´s go"

The ride back was quiet, a good quiet, just us hearing music and being in each other´s company. I liked it. When we arrived I noticed that none of the cars were parked outside.

"Hello? Anybody home?" I asked going inside the house.

"Just me brother!" said Katie from the living room where she was watching TV "Hi Kendall" she smiled when we got there.

"Where are mom and dad?" I laid my hands on the back of the couch seeing that she was watching the transformers movie.

"Out, mom´s car broke and dad said that he would pick her up" she looked at me "I want pizza"

"Then order some" she graved a pillow and threw it at my face, I caught it easily before returning the hit making Kendall chuckled.

"Hey!" she pouted "You! James´ boyfriend!"

"Yeah?" he asked almost scared at my sister.

"James is ticklish" I widen my eyes after I heard her, just an hour before Kendall had touched my sides and I had victoriously stiffen my laughter and look like nothing happened, but Kendall was smart and thanks to that he would put two plus two and know exactly _where_ I was ticklish.

"James is ticklish" he repeated looking at me making me shudder at the mischievous gleam in his eyes "I don't see why that has to matter to me" Fuck that, he was dying to tickle me, I knew it.

"Katie order the pizza, and move aside I want to see the movie too" I said escaping from my boyfriend and sitting next to my sister, noticing this he laughed and sat on the floor resting his head on my knees.

"Fine!" she growled taking the phone and dialing the number.

"I should call Carlos and ask him if I can go to his place" he said not moving at all.

"You can call him after the pizza" I told him playing with his hair.

After the pizza arrived we watched the movie in silence, just making small comments every now and there, and laughing like we hadn't seen it like a million times, it was nice…until Katie stated feeling bored and began to pick on mu ribs making me jump and successfully starting a pillow fight, and my dear boyfriend was just laughing his ass out on the floor, until I decided that he couldn't go unharmed and threw a small cushion directly at his face, he looked at me with opened mouth before getting up and going for me.

"Katie, did you say your brother was ticklish?" he put his hands in front of him waving his fingers menacingly .

"Run James run!" she laughed as I practically flew to my room having Kendall just behind me.

"Come on James!" he yelled preventing me from closing my bedrooms door getting his foot between the door and the wall and storming after me, he grabbed my foot making me fall in my bed before he started assaulting my sides.

"NO!" I shrieked not in a manly way trying to stop him but being overcome by laughter "Ken…dall…please!" I laughed trying to breathe.

"I love seeing you smile like that" he said stopping leaving me like a mess in my bed gaining my breath.

"I can laugh all you want, but please no more tickles"

"I had to do it at least once" he kissed me softly "But ok, I won´t do it" he looked at my bedside clock "Damn I have to go"

"Wait" I put my hand on his shirt squeezing it slightly "Stay here"

"I don't think your parents appreciate me spending the night here" he smiled cupping my face.

"They won´t come back until tomorrow afternoon" he raised his eyebrow, that damn sexy eyebrow "Tomorrow´s their anniversary, they do it every year…please stay"

"Katie…" he looked at my door kind of nervous.

"She doesn't mind, it´s just sleeping Kendall, we both know we won´t have sex tonight" I gave him the best puppy eyes I could master.

"The puppy eyes? Really?" he groaned passing a hand through his face "Ok, I´ll stay…under one condition" I looked at him expectantly while he smiled and eyed me like he knew something I didn't "I want you to let me give you a hand job"


	12. Chapter 12

So I´m mad, as in really MAD! There I was studying like a maniac for my big test and what the teacher says? Ah sorry guys, I changed your test for Tuesday…come on! The happy thing was that while I was studying I found an interesting law: the Schmidt Law! Holly Kendall! Hahaha I started laughing when I read it and my friends were looking at me like a freak xD

So I do not own BTR and I assure you this was such a hard chapter to write!

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 12

James PoV

I blinked slowly a couple of times registering his words, when I did I felt myself shivering at the thought of someone touching me so intimately.

"I think you should call Carlos" I found myself saying avoiding his gaze.

"I had a sensation you would say that" even if he tried to mask his feelings under a smile I felt a note of sadness and regret in his voice "Call me tomorrow?" he touched my chin making me look at him before he leaned and barely touched my lips with his own.

"Sure" he grinned and got up before getting out of my room like he couldn't stay longer, two minutes later I heard the front door close.

I groaned pulling my pillow and putting it on my face hugging it tightly. Why did I fucking say that? I was terrified yes, but it was Kendall, he would never do anything to harm me…ok maybe in the past, but not after those three days.

"Did you two argue?" I heard Katie say "He looked troubled when he got out"

"I´m not sure I can talk to you about it" my voice sounded muffled.

"Come on bro, I can take it" maybe she could but I wasn't sure I could take telling her my sex related problems "James, I will tickle the truth out of you" I laughed at her words, they were the same ones I used to say to her when we were little.

"Sorry Katie…I can´t tell you" I sat taking the pillow away not liking the hurt expression on her face.

"I know there´s something wrong with you brother…I know that I´m the only one in this house that doesn't know what it is, and I hate it!" her eyes gleamed with rage "I´m not a fucking kid, I can take it!" I could easily yell at her to mind her own business and kick her out of my room, but I had trusted in Kendall, a guy who I met five weeks ago, why not trusting my sister?

"Come here" I moved to the side resting my back on the bedside waiting for her to sit next to me. "I really wish I didn't have to tell you this, but I have to…you´re right, you´re not a kid and as my sister you have to know" I closed my eyes.

"Tell me brother" she whispered.

"There´s a simple way to say this…when I was in juby, an _officer_ raped me" she took her breath and I felt a small tug in my clothes "More than once" why did it feel a lot easier to tell? Could it be because of Kendall? Telling him was a major step for me, maybe that and the talk with my mother had helped me accept everything and get over it.

"N-no" Katie wept hugging me from my side; she had taken a while to take in the info. "You´re joking…t-that can´t be true"

"Think about it sis" I squeezed her using my arm, we stayed silenced for a moment before she started crying for real, probably she had connected the changes in me to that _event_. "Remember the first days I got home" I grimaced at the memory, I had been in such bad shape, I was literally scared of everyone, I couldn´t be inside the darkness for more than two seconds, I rarely talked to anyone and I had an actual erection until three months after being free, I felt so dirty and gross I couldn't take pleasure in any single thing, until I had a really good wet dream involving a green eyed god...yeah thanks to that dream I had taken interest in Kendall in the first place.

"I-I´m sorry, so s-sorry" he held me close burring her face on my chest "All the shit I said to you"

"It´s ok, you didn't know" she raised and looked at me with her big chocolate eyes.

"Does Kendall know?"

"Yes he does" she winced, probably offended about being the last to know "I told him yesterday…damn he knows more about me than anybody else" I rested my hand on my eyes "And now I blew it"

"You´re not talking about this anymore, aren´t you?" she asked me taking my hand, tears shining on her cheeks.

"Nope, I already told you what the problem was and I don't want to talk about it ever again" I raised and wiped the salted water out of her face.

"Ok, so how did you blow it? Did he do something?" she asked resigned.

"He did do something, but I don't know if it was good or bad" I started playing with her fingers.

"Tell me James" she demanded softly.

"He asked me permission to give me a hand job" I was known for my undesirable truths so there I was spilling my bedroom drama to my baby sister…nice. I chuckled at her stunned expression.

"And you told him no, are you scared?" she said after composing herself.

"A lot" I hugged my knees "I also want to, so much…" I covered my face with my hands.

"He got mad" she frowned.

"Nah, I don't think so" I gave her a sad smile "I don't have any idea why he said it, who knows what´s happening inside his head… and more than being mad at me I think he was mad at himself for asking me that, or maybe we was turned on and got angry…I don't know! Fucking Kendall for making me like this"

"Yeah, I´ve never seen you so…_girly_" she laughed "Not even when you thought you were pretty".

"_Girly_?" I frowned completely offended by her words.

"Well, you said no to your horny boyfriend, you´re confused about his feelings, you smile like an idiot every single time his name comes up, you dress up for him…you know, a lot like a girl"

"Ouch! There goes my pride" I felt a blush creeping on my face, she was right I was such a _girl_ when it came to Kendall and I really hated it.

"Be brave brother" she put her hand on my knee "Either way, if he´s mad at you for being scared and saying no, then he´s an asshole…if not and he regrets it, then you should ask him why the hell did he do it"

"Yeah, it´s too late for now, I´ll have to wait till tomorrow" my phone started ringing, I smiled seeing Logan´s number, always with perfect timing.

"Hi Logie" I answered making Katie giggle at the nickname.

"Hey James" he didn't sound too happy "My dear friend that forgets me the minute he finds a new crush"

"Sorry, I was on my Pj´s and Kendall was knocking at my window, I had no time to lose" Katie signaled me that she was leaving, but before she did she gave me a bear hug and kissed my cheek.

"I love you brother, and know that you´re brave and strong, I´m proud of being your little sister" I was touched by her words.

"Thanks" I murmured kissing her forehead before she leaved my bedroom.

"You told her" I heard Logan´s words "What did I miss?" I smiled, he had missed a lot sense our last talk.

"Apparently my mom knew what happened from the start, I told Kendall and Katie and from 8am Kendall´s officially my boyfriend" I chuckled almost seeing his mouth open and wide eyes.

"A lot can happen in a couple of days" he said "Kendall told me about the _officer_"

"Yeah I know, don't worry I´m fine, we just talked and he left as soon as I reminded him about the restriction order"

"I still can´t believe he didn´t get in jail for what he did to you" he sounded tired and concerned "Was it just a coincidence that he was at the same exact city that you moved in?"

"I really don't want to think about it" I sighed feeling a little scared "I´m not telling my parents…if I see him again I will, I promise, but if it´s just a onetime thing I won´t worry them" I heard a distant _yeah_ and almost saw his eyeroll, he knew how protective I was of my parents.

"Wait…did you just said that you and Kendall were boyfriends? That was fast" he laughed "Eager, aren´t we?"

"Shut up Logan" I smiled warmly "Logan being all doctor-ish and psychiatrist on me, do you think it´s too early to think of having sex with him?" he began to cough probably after spilling something he was drinking.

"Are you seriously considering having sex? James that´s awesome! It means that psychologically you´re almost cured" I frowned taken back by his words.

"Really? I mean yeah I´m fucking terrified and the last time we were making out I started to have some flashbacks and almost freaked out on him…and today I did freaked out after he offered me a hand job…"

"He did WHAT?" he yelled "I am going to_ kill_ him, is he an idiot or what?"

"I feel good to have someone that cares some much for me, but Logan it´s OK…yeah he got me with my guard down, but I don't hate him for asking" I scratched my neck "I freaked because that would be a first for me…"

"Huh?" I couldn't blame him for thinking I had all the experience on the world after all that happened in my life.

"I was virgin before I got to juvy and inside that place I was just two fuck holes…I´ve never gotten a hand job"

"Don't talk about you like that James" he sounded miserable, like he always did when we talked about those times.

"I was more than just two fuck holes…yeah I guess I was so much more in there" I said bitterly.

"Don´t be like that"

"It´s the truth, that´s why when I got out I was so terrified of people, I thought that everybody wanted their piece…and all of you started to act like I was made of crystal, barely touching me and avoiding the subject, I tried to move on just by forgetting about it but I felt too comfortable being alone like that…and when my dad decided that it was time to do something about it, it became so damn hard to open up again"

"Why was Kendall so different?" he sounded genuinely curious.

"At first he just was an attractive dude, then I started hating him for being a jerk and still look like the hottest dude I had ever seen" I closed my eyes thinking of him "Then we fought each other and I felt like I could take him, I wasn't scared of him, it was like we were equals…when he offered me peace and I shook his hand I felt like I was touching an electric volt, it felt good and right. Then these three days happened, he was sweet and interested…he made me laugh and be comfy around him"

"How did you tell him?"

"He made me do it, he´s stubborn and he was concerned about me…he´s a bad listener, telling me to stop every time it got uglier" I chuckled "And then the idiot kissed me…"

"He has some bad timing" he laughed "What did you do?"

"Naturally I ran…and today he confessed his undying love to me…we were pretty cheesy I might say"

"Ugh, gay fluff" he joked "I think that maybe his timing isn't all that bad"

"You just said…"

"I know what I said, but think about it, all of us wanted to give you your time to accept all of this, and Kendall…he´s impulsive and maybe that's what made you think different of him, he acted and waited for your move, maybe you needed some kind of challenge to get the guts to fight all your shit" I thought about his words, I saw some logic in them "Maybe the hand job was just a step, if you accepted him touching you in a intimate way without being terrified I think it would be a big step for your relationship…and he did make you think a lot about it, didn´t he?"

"Let´s say I won´t have too much sleep tonight" I bit my lip "He asked for my permission, no one had ever asked me for something like that" I commented feeling tired "Anyway, there´s the problem, am I ready for it?"

"I say you are" he said quietly "I want to see you happy and if having sex again it´s the answer for it, I say GO! Most people would love to have sex to fix their problems"

I bit my lip thinking about his words, maybe he was right, maybe the reason that everything was different with Kendall was that he challenged me to get out of my comfort zone and make a move. If it wasn't for his kiss I wouldn´t dared to dress up as a cowboy and tell him how I felt, if it wasn't for his insistence I wouldn´t have told him the truth. Perhaps letting him have more freedom to touch my body would be a good thing.

"I´m tired, I´ll call you later" he said yawning "Night, James"

"Bye" I hung up the phone still deep in thoughts getting ready for another sleepless night.

Kendal PoV

I stepped at the Garcia´s door way and knocked. I felt a battle inside me; one part was dying of guilt for what I had said to James, I was looking for a way to get out of his house, I still wasn´t comfortable staying there without his parent´s permission, after all they were really protective of their son and if I wanted them to respect our relationship I had to be the nice boyfriend and not blew it, also the frightened look in his eyes haunted me every time I closed mine…then another part of me didn´t think that, I had a small hope of James saying _yes_ which meant that he truly trusted me, that he wasn't scared anymore…it was _the_ kiss all over again, I made a move not exactly at the right time and he ended up completely stunned by my actions, I hoped it ended the same way: James thinking about us and considering giving it a shot.

"Did you get out or did they kick you out?" said Carlos knowingly when he opened the door to let me inside.

"A little bit of both" I smiled getting inside and waving at his mom.

"How can a mother kick her son out like that?" she said with her marked accent before walking ad giving me a hug "At least you know you´re always welcome here…now, did you already have dinner?"

"Yes…"

"He was at his boyfriend´s house" mocked Carlos making kissing faces.

"At least I have someone" I punched his arm playfully.

"And for that you´re sleeping on the floor" I laughed, I always slept on the floor. I was considering buying a mattress just for the days I stayed at his house.

"I think you should let him sleep in your bed Carlitos" commented his mother making my friend open his mouth in terror "Be a nice friend and lend him your bed for one night"

"But mom!" he whined making me laugh.

"It´s fine Ms. Garcia, your sleep bag it´s comfy enough" I didn't think I could get much sleep anyways.

"I love you man!" yelled Carlos hugging my shoulders "Now, let´s go to my room before my dad gets here and tries to kill your stepfather for being an asshole" I smiled; it was the same thing every time I stayed there. My dad and Carlos´ father had been best friends sense forever, after my dad´s death officer Garcia had taken care of me in any way that he could, and every time I argued at my mom or Dave, he was there for me and giving me the satisfaction to know that somebody other than myself wanted to beat the shit out of my stepfather.

"Isn´t he home? I wanted to talk to him about the antique store" I was seriously thinking about what James had told me, I didn't need to put up with my mom´s crap, I could live by myself in the shop, I had the money my dad had saved for me in the bank and I had a job, college wasn't a problem because I had a full scholarship, I could easily live alone.

"No, he´s on duty, but I´m pretty sure he will be here in the morning" answered my friend entering his room.

Just some minutes ago I had been inside James´ room and it had been awesome because everything screamed _James_, from the band posters to the dark colors that decorated the room. I smiled remembering the big Johnny Deep poster; somehow it didn't surprise me that James had a crush on him.

"James and Kendall sitting on a park, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" Carlos started singing until I got a basketball from his floor and threw it at him.

"Grow up!" I laughed dogging the ball when he threw it back.

"Oh because you´re _so_ mature" he walked to his closet to take a sleeping bag out and toss it in my direction "James didn't invite you to stay at his place?" I knew that was coming sooner or later.

"He did and I said no" I rolled my eyes at his overly shocked expression.

"In all the years I´ve known you, you have never refused an _invitation_" when did we became such perverts? Always taken the wrong meaning to the words we heard.

"He asked me to stay and sleep, nothing else" I clarified extending the sleeping bag on his carpet.

"Ah that explains why you didn't stay" he nodded like it was settled.

"It wasn't like that!" I felt the urge to explain myself "I just wasn't staying with him without his parent´s permission…"

"No parents! Seriously, who are you and where´s Kendall?" he gave me a tee and sweatpants before he started to change in his Pj´s.

"We´ve been together for a day, no time for sex yet" I took my shirt off.

"Didn't stop you before" he looked at me thoughtfully.

"James isn't like the others" I finished changing and sat on the floor "Now I wanna hear some music and try to sleep, anything else you want to talk about?"

"What are you going to listen?" he turned off the lights and laid on his bed.

"Bon Jovi" he snorted "What?"

"You only listen to Bon Jovi when you´re either sad or eager about something" he yawned "Are you going to the woodshop tomorrow?"

"Probably, I want to finish the tea table this weekend" I leaned down and took out my ipod "Good night Carlos"

"Night"

I started playing Livin´on a Prayer and closed my eyes. Carlos was right, I only heard Bon Jovi when I felt unsettled or confused, being my father´s favorite band made me feel like he was close to me, calming me and that my life didn't suck that much. After an hour of self battles I sighed resigned to not have any answers that night, I let the music take me to dreamland but before I fell completely asleep I felt my phone vibrating beside me, I looked at it and a goofy smile spread through my face when I read it.

**2morro u´ll stay at my place, and I accept ur every condition…- J**

Making sure I didn't wake Carlos –not really because he could sleep inside a tornado- I quickly replied.

**U sure? Don't rush it, its fine if u don't want 2**

I awaited his answer feeling my heart bumping like maniac but instead of a text I got a call.

"I hate when you do this to me" he said clearly mad "Always doing something stupid that makes a mess out of me and then you end up saying ´oh, I´m sorry, I didn't mean it´"

"What do you want me to do? Around you I don't have much control of the things I do and don´t" I whispered.

"Why did you ask me that?" I was glad we were on the phone and I got more time to think my answers.

"Partly because I didn't think it was a good idea to sleep there without your parent´s permission"

"What´s the other reason?" his voice sounded steady.

"Because it would be fucking sexy to touch you and make squirm of pleasure under my hand" thank God that Carlos was snoring and that he had closed his bedroom door because I got a boner when I heard my own words out loud.

"Fuck…don't say things like that Kendall" he said in a strangled voice.

"Why? Did I turn you on?"

"I´m not having phone sex with you when you´re sleeping in the same place as Carlos" I grimaced that was the second time he turned me down that day.

"I never mentioned anything about having phone sex" the idea sounded heavenly appealing.

"Then forget I said anything"

"Why? I don't care and I´m the one here…I could even get inside his bathroom if you´re so concerned about my privacy" I heard him shallow.

"Are you sure he wouldn't hear you inside?" I sat surprised at his words.

"The walls are thick and he sleeps like a hibernating bear"

"Then yes, I´m fucking turned on by what you said" I stood up and walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

"What did I say? I don't recall" I sat on the floor letting my back rest on the wall "Tell me James"

"That you wanted to touch me" I heard some movement at the other end of the line.

"Are you touching yourself?" I got almost painfully hard by thinking about him doing it.

"No…"

"I want you to do it, imagine it´s me taking your shirt out" I heard him do it "My hand the one unzipping your pants…now close your eyes and don't take anything off, touch your cock over your boxers, slowly" I heard a soft sigh followed by a moan "I´ll tell you what I would do to you to take you to the top, I would get my hand inside your boxers, pass my thumb through the tip" I opened my pants freeing my erection when I heard a second moan "Don't you dare do anything that I haven't told you to do"

"Not…fair" he whined.

"Deal with it…I would nibble your lower lip, the way I know you like it…then I´ll lick the back or your ear and start kissing your neck, going lower every time"

"Kendall…ngh" I encircled my erection with my hand.

"I would take your nipple between my fingers and squeeze it hard…do it James" he hissed "Does it feel good?"

"Y-yeah" I was so hard just by hearing the sounds he was making.

"You´re jacking off now, aren't you" I started to caress my shaft.

"Course I am…"

"Then I would love to pump you slowly, make you pay for the two times you turned me down" he chuckled "I also want to taste your nipples, licking and sucking them" he groaned "Sensible nipples? Perfect I´ll take note to give them enough attention when I´ll go over"

"Fuck…"he whimpered "Are you keeping me like this… the whole night?"

"Oh of course not…after giving said attention to your nipples I would go lower, get my tongue inside your belly bottom…then lower" his breathes hitched "To your knees"

"You… tease" I smiled at the growl he emitted.

"Then I´ll kiss from your knee to your hip bones, then after licking my lips I would kiss the head of your penis and let my tongue roam through you" I began pumping harder was the image formed inside my head helped by James´ moans "And looking at those hazel eyes of yours I would shallow you completely" I stayed silent for a moment trying to gain my breath, moaning at the feeling inside my stomach, I was close.

"Ken…dall" he said panting in a sexy rough voice making me groan.

"Then I would pump, suctioning you while my hands play with your balls..." he gasped in a way that almost made me come right there "I would keep looking at you, your face contorted in pleasure, tugging my hair like you did back at my house, making me moan and sending soft vibrations to your dick…then I would help me with my fist, giving you all I got" I was amazed that I could still form coherent words in my state, James was past that point giving that the only thing that I heard from his end were moans and the occasional curse, until he gave a cry signaling that he had reached his orgasm making my mind picture him, with his hair on his face, sweating and his eyes clenched while he made those amazing sounds.

"James…" I tried to muffle my yell with my fist when I came, spilling my cum all over Carlos´ bathroom floor shivering at the sensations my body was feeling, I continued thrusting to my fist through my orgasm trying to regain my breath.

"That was…" I heard James say in a sleepy voice.

"Wait until we make it truth" I interrupted him, he laughed and we stayed silent for a moment, just enjoying the moment. I stretched myself looking for the toilet paper to clean my mess, when I did it I covered back myself and frowned when I heard James soft breathing.

"James? Are you awake?"

"Yes?" I smiled, he sounded calm and happy, I had a desperate need to be right beside him and kiss him.

"I would love to kiss you right now and watch you sleep and wake up next to you" I continued with our fantasy.

"That would be awesome…I´m falling asleep here" he chuckled "Good night Kendall"

"Good night James, I love you"

"I love you too…and ego booster…that was the best orgasm I´ve ever had"

"You´re welcome, same here…hope we break the record soon"

"You bet we will…bye" he hung up leaving me with a stupid smile on my face. I got up and checked the bathroom for any proof of my mess before going back to the room, glad that Carlos was still sleeping, I laid on the sleeping bag and closed my eyes knowing that tonight I would sleep like a baby.


	13. Chapter 13

Phone sex, I have no idea where that came from but I loved it! Haha and giving that I had a long weekend I made an extra large chapter xD Yay! Even if the reply url´s aren't working!

Well people take care!

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 13

James PoV

"Morning! Happy Anniversary!" I smiled while I hugged and kissed my mother before sitting at the table.

"Someone´s awfully cheerful today" she said giving me a weird look.

"I don't know what you´re talking about" I faked innocence unable to cover the stupid smile out of my face.

"Bacon?" she asked serving my plate.

"Yup!" I nodded "You´re home early, normally you get here till noon at least"

"That´s because your father is taking me to lunch and we have to get ready, I didn't bring pretty clothes to the hotel" she had a dreamy expression, just like every anniversary.

"Morning" we both looked at the kitchen´s entrance to see Katie groggily walking inside, she sat beside me and rested her head on my shoulder not really trying to stay awake.

"Rough night" commented my mom looking at Katie.

"Had a nightmare" she answered taking my hand confirming me what the nightmare had been about.

"Oh, Katie, it´s fine" I hugged her "Cheer up, it´s all in the past" my mom gave me a knowing look, she had figured out what was wrong with Katie.

"How can you be so happy after _that_?" murmured my sister.

"Because I have an awesome family, a great best friend and a sexy boyfriend to help me through it!" they both were looking at me like I was an alien, was it a sin to be happy? I thought starting to eat.

"Did you and Kendall have sex?" I almost chocked not expecting that kind of question from my mother "So you did"

"What? No! Mom! I haven't had sex with Kendall" _yet_. She raised an eyebrow clearly not buying it.

"It´s truth mom" chuckled Katie freeing herself from my embrace "Last night Kendall was here, we watched some movies and ate pizza but then they fought and he left…that leads to the same question, why are you so damn happy?"

"Language" I smiled at my mom´s comment, she hadn't stopped looking at me and she had said it like a recorder machine.

"Because last night we talked and all it´s cool now" It was the truth, they didn't have to know what that _talk_ had involved.

"Leave him alone ladies" said my dad getting inside the kitchen.

"Thank you!"

"It´s just not natural for you to be like…the old you" I frowned at Katie´s words "See that´s more like it!"

"First you ask me why I´m not happy and when I finally am, you ask why am I happy…are you kidding me people!" they started laughing at my words.

"Sorry James, it´s just that it´s so good to see you like this that it´s hard to believe" said my mother cupping my cheek.

"Ok, just stop giving me the weird look every time I do something different" I rolled my eyes before I heard my phone ringing, after a shot nod from my mom I answer it feeling my heart flutter when I heard Kendall´s voice.

"I slept like a baby after a fucking amazing orgasm" I started laughing at his words knowing that a blush was making an entrance.

"I´m having breakfast with my family" whom I might add, hadn't stopped looking at me sense the conversation started.

"Shit…they didn't hear me, did they?"

"I don't think so, but they seem _pretty interested_ in my conversation" I glared at them.

"Hey Kendall! What did you do to make my brother so happy? It creeps me out!" yelled Katie getting close to the phone, I heard Kendall´s laugh at the other end of the line.

"Tell her that if she´s scared of you now, she would be terrified when I really get my hands on you" I shivered at his words trying not to show how _exited_ I was at the thought of Kendall´s hand on me.

"I´m not going to say that to my baby sister you pervert" and then my whole family was looking at me with their mouths open. Fuck.

"Awkward" laughed Kendall probably not expecting me giving all that info to my parents.

"Mom, dad, Kendall says happy anniversary" I lied trying to save the conversation.

"Nice save" chuckled my father "James I think you should talk to him in your room, but before you leave, give me a hug" he stood up and opened his arms.

"Don't be afraid" whispered Kendall, I smiled, got up and embraced my father, hugging him tightly…for about three seconds before I stormed out of the kitchen eager to talk to Kendall alone.

"I don't think my parents are going to see you in the same way ever again"

"Not my fault, who´s idea was to have phone sex? Na-ha not mine" I covered my face with my hand not believing what we had done last night.

"Yeah, it was late and I…"

"And you were horny…thank God!" I bumped myself in my bed laughing at his words.

"Where are you? I don't think you´ll talk like this inside the Garcia´s house" or maybe he would, I had no idea what he was capable of when it came to _sex_.

"At the woodshop, I´ll be leaving to buy some stuff I need and get our backpacks, want me to go and pick you up in about two hours?"

"Sounds good"

"Ok, bye"

"Bye" I hung up and closed my eyes thinking about the night before. I had spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to do next in my life and all I could think about was _Kendall_ over and over again, then I had remembered my sister´s words: _Be Brave_. She had been right, I had to take a step forward and forget my fears. That was when I had decided to text him…and the rest was easily becoming one of my most treasured memories.

"James…" I look up to find my dad in my bedroom door, I frowned when I registered that his eyes were bloodshot and teary.

"Why are you crying?" I got up and walked towards him and put my hand on his shoulder and widen my eyes when he began to cry harder covering his eyes with his hand; I had never seen my dad like that and I was freaking out, all I could think about was hugging him and wait until he got better, and I did it. At first he was immobile then he hugged me like I was a lifesaver. I stood silent rocking his back not knowing what was wrong with him until it stroked me…_we were hugging_. After all the months of barely standing the thought of our daily hug _I_ had hugged him like it was nothing and _I_ was holding him at that moment, realizing this and how good it felt I sensed tears rolling down my cheeks as I embraced him ever harder burring my face on his shoulder. I had no idea how could I´d been scared of hugging my own father, how I had survived so long without _this_. Ever sense I was a little kid I loved being around my dad, he was my hero, the kind of man I wanted to be, he was one of my favorite persons in the world and thinking of how much I had hurt him for keeping myself away from him broke my heart.

"I love you dad" I was certain that _sorry_ didn't cut all the feelings I had, so I might as well just tell him how important he was for me "Thank you… for everything"

"Shh" he kissed my temple "I am your father, It´s what I do" we broke the hug and he smiled at me keeping his hands on my shoulders "Katie´s right, what did Kendal do to you? I tried so hard to help you for months and he comes and practically _fixed_ you in a matter of days"

"I honestly don't know" I smiled wiping my tears "It´s so weird but being with him has taken my fear away…I am scared of the _power_ he has over me, but I trust him and I love him"

"I guess I´m going to have to trust your judgment in this" he hugged me again.

"Happy anniversary"

"Shit! I have to hurry or we´ll lose our reservations!" he stepped away and smiled at me before running to get my mother.

Kendall PoV

Carlos and I were at the Antique store looking at the rooms in the second floor. I had made up my mind, I was going to live by myself and that was the perfect place.

"Imagine, a big TV right here!" said Carlos in the middle of the biggest room "It´s like a bachelor loft" he was right, it had two rooms, a bathroom and downstairs was the kitchen next to the ballroom where we had the store. It was a pretty big place.

"Yeah, all I have to do now it´s get my stuff from my house" I grimaced at the thought. My mom hadn't even tried to contact me.

"I think they´ll let you, after all you´re leaving the place…so, where are we going furniture shopping?" he looked at me expectantly, like a kid waiting to go to the park.

"I planned to take James with me" I raised my shoulders apologetically "He did give me the idea of moving here"

"Fine Kendall, forget your best friend…go to your pretty boyfriend and leave me alone and bored" he gave me the lost puppy eyes. Fuck Carlos knowing that sense we met each other I couldn't say no to those eyes.

"Only to the electronic store, after all that's all you want to see" I gave in knowing that maybe James wouldn't be too thrilled about spending the day with Carlos.

"YEE HA!" the brunette screamed running down the stairs. I decided to warn James so I sent him a text and I smiled when I got a fast reply.

**I´m in a terrible good mood, I think I can stand ur bf**

Ok now I was curious, even if he sounded really happy by the phone somehow I knew that I wasn't the cause of his mood. I sighed and went to find my friend; I spotted him looking at the tea table in awe.

"Dude, seriously this looks great"

"Don't even think about touching it" I pointed him with my finger "Get your stomach hands away from my work"

"Aww Kendall! You´re mean!" he pouted crossing his arms "I´m not that much of a destroyer…"

"Then tell me what happened to James´ plane, my old hockey stick, your mom´s vase…want me to continue?" he began to open and close his mouth like a fish not having words to defend himself "Exactly, now at least two feet away from the antiques" he obeyed me and I started to clean the place before heading to my car and going to get James.

"Kendall, will you please keep the kissing to the minimum?" pleaded Carlos, I grinned knowing the best way to get him back after deciding to be the third wheel that day.

"Of course, just the _hello_ and _good bye_ kiss" I wanted to kiss the guts out of my boyfriend sense last night and if I was restrained to just two kisses, I would juice them up to the last drop.

"Good, I don't want my eyes to get stained with gay porn for life" I laughed at his words.

"Then please, when I start living inside the store, don't ever, _ever_ come unannounced" I glared at him, he just smiled and nodded before stretching his hand and powered the stereo. The drive was fun like always, Carlos and I sang really loud and a lot of the times we said the wrong lyrics, and when we got tired we just talked about unimportant topics, he always made me forget all the hard times and enjoy the good ones that life gave us.

"And we´re here" I turned to look at my friend hoping he would get the Q and go to the back seat.

"I´m not moving" he crossed his arms.

"Why not?"

"I´m your best friend, I have known you for the longest time, and besides I´m not stupid, if I go to the back seat I _will_ be the third wheel and you won´t acknowledge me at all" he had a point.

"Fine!" I growled getting out of the car "I´ll be back soon" I walked to the Diamond´s doorway and before I had the time to raise my hand and knock someone opened the door.

"Hi Kendall" said Katie giving me a suspicious look.

"Hi, I´m here to …"

"I know why you´re here and he will be ready in a second, but first answer me something…did you sneaked inside the house at night?"

"No" I frowned taken back by her questions.

"Really?" she glared at me.

"Katie stop harassing my boyfriend" said James moving her out of the door not putting attention to her claims, I felt my heart beat faster when I saw a ridiculously big grin on his face, damn Carlos for being inside the car and not let me have my way with James.

"You look hot" I winked making him blush as he closed the door "Are your parents home?"

"No…" without losing time I graved him by the collar of his shirt and crushed my lips on his loving the moan he emitted. I pushed his back to the door while I continued attacking his lips groaning when he tugged my hair pushing my head even closer to his face, I wanted to kiss him forever but we had to get a lot of furniture and get rid of Carlos as soon as we could, so I ended the kiss getting a small whine from James.

"Hi" I rested my forehead on his smiling.

"Hello" he laughed looking at me in the eye "My sister knows we did something last night…I think she heard me" he murmured barely audible.

"You did make some delicious sounds" he closed his eyes and started to take deep breathes.

"Don't start something we can´t finish" I felt his hand caressing my hair giving me goosebumps.

"Ugh, I hate my best friend right now" I pulled myself away taking a deep breath trying to get calm before I took his hand and started walking to the car, he raised his eyebrow when he saw Carlos on the front seat but he kept his mouth shut.

"Hey Carlos" he smiled getting inside the back seat.

"S´up dude!" Carlos greeted "As Kendall´s best friend I have to ask you an important question" he half turned his body to look better at James.

"Shoot" he said as I started driving to the electronics store.

"Who do you think is better: Batman or Superman?" I rolled my eyes at the question; of course Carlos would look some common ground to talk to James, I gave him a point for that, but super heroes? That was just mistaken if he thought that James would like…

"None, superman it´s too good and too powerful, batman it´s interesting but too boring for me…I´m go with green arrow, I love that apart from being a hero he´s a real guy dealing with drugs, prostitution and the problems of the people…and he´s based in real Celtic folklore" ok maybe he did know something about super heroes.

"When did Oliver Queen have to deal with prostitution or drugs?" asked Carlos clearly interested.

"Have you read the comics?" Carlos shook his head "In the 80´s they published a series where he got two sidekicks: Speedy and Arquette, he was a heroin addict and she was a prostitute and also his niece" dear lord my best friend and my boyfriend were comic book geeks…I was doomed.


	14. Chapter 14

Haha that last chapter was fun, I love every episode where James and Carlos are together so I had to give them some common ground, and what better tan comic books? (I love bandana man and the unnamed Carlos super hero xD)…I also thought that James would love Green Arrow for all his back story…and there you go!

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 14

Kendall PoV

I officially hated comic books.

At first I had thought that James would be tired of talking about superheroes with Carlos, but the more they talked, the more they got into each other and the more they _ignored_ me. I couldn't believe it! My perfect sexy boyfriend was a geek, I could almost picture him wearing black glasses and…ok he would rock those specs, but still. Now I was all alone looking for potential couches while those two were engrossed in an argument involving the hulk and Thor. Yeah James had joined Carlos after the electronics store to beg me to let him stay with us for the rest of the day…did I mention that I hate comic books?

"I´m telling you he´s stronger, he´s a freaking God!" exclaimed Carlos.

"Not exactly, he´s a god to us, but he´s not immortal, he´s just an Asgardian with a cool hammer and the hulk gets stronger every time he gets angrier, so he could easily beat the thunder our of Thor…you saw the animated movie! The ending is the key!" explained James smiling at the defeated expression my friend wore.

"How do you know so much? I read every week and doesn't seem to be enough" Carlos praised him, I just gave an eyeroll and continued to sit in every couch looking for the right one.

"I´ve always liked comics but after I got out of juvy, being unable to get back to school right away, I started reading more and more every day…I think I developed a small obsession" he laughed finally taking the time to look where I was, he walked and sat next to me "I don't like this one, it´s too stiff" he got up and looked around, until he smiled and walked to the back of the store, I let my eyes follow him and I mirrored his smile when I saw the couch he was looking at: it was big, brown and it looked like the comfiest couch in the world. I got up deciding to join my boyfriend.

"I think we have a winner!" screamed Carlos pooping himself next to James…freaking third wheel! "Come on Kendall, sit and be welcome to movie and videogames heavenly train"

"Dude, how do you come up with that shit?" I laughed sitting next to my friend.

"Just try not to think before you speak, it comes natural" ok thanks to Carlos´ lame jokes James was laughing and I loved his laugh, so maybe it had been a good idea to bring him along. I closed my eyes and I let my head fall back sighing, it _was_ the perfect sofa. I tried to ignore James and Carlos´ small talk thinking about having James all to myself in that couch; yeah I was dying to get to _my_ new home.

"Kendall, I need you to take me home, I need to help my _papi_ in… something" did Carlos´ words seem kind of mechanical?

"Sure, let´s go"

The ride back was more of the same, even if this time James was the one sitting next to me.

"Well, see´ya guys!" said Carlos getting out of the car "The minute I get my hands on the next Marvel Zombies issue, I´ll give you a call James!"

"You better! I don't have money and I need to know what happens!" we waved good bye before I started the engine and hurried back to the antique store and wait for the furniture trailer to deliver my stuff.

"It´s just four, nice we still have lots of time" talked James looking at his watch like he hadn't been ignoring me the whole day, I was mad and I decided to show it by turning on the music at max volume, I didn't want to hear him. He eyed me before turning off the stereo and raised his eyebrow. I kept my stubborn silence and turned the stereo back on, he had the nerve to laugh at me, now I was pissed.

"What´s up with you?" he asked silencing the music, I kept my mouth shut "Kendall…"

"Don't talk James, keep ignoring me like you´ve been doing the whole day" he bit his lip. Hell, he looked too cute "And don't deny it"

"I´m not" I kept my eyes up front knowing that if I looked at him my anger would evaporate "And I´m sorry…I just got exited" he made a frustrating noise when he didn't get a reply from me "Kendall, imagine that none of us liked hockey, like you don't have anyone to talk about that thing you love…wouldn't you be exited if someone started talking about it?" Point for James.

"I still don't like to be ignored…but it´s ok I guess" I sighed defeated "It was a big surprise, after thinking of you as the dark tortured exconvict you show up with a big smile on your face and talk about superheroes for almost four hours" I looked at him, he had a thoughtful expression.

"I feel weird, like I´m discovering who I am all over again…I do love comics but other things that I used to like, don't seem all that important anymore"

"Like?" I asked and he smiled.

"Besides my looks…singing" he stretched his arms smiling at my stunned expression…it definitely was not because I could see his toned arms or a little bit of his amazing abs when he did that "Yes Kendall I can sing, but after all that it stopped being a part of me…I don't know, I don't feel the urge to sing every single minute like I used to" he looked at his window smiling but his expression changed when we saw Maria outside the antique store holding our backpacks with a sad air around her.

"What´s wrong?" I asked her when I parked and got out of the car.

"Your mom told me that if you don't go and pick your stuff up tomorrow, she will give everything to charity" I stopped death at her words, feeling an unwanted pinch in my heart. I felt James´ hand on mine, I grabbed it as my life force, I didn't want to admit that some part of me craved for my mother´s love, I didn't know what I had done to make her hate me like this, my father´s death wasn't my fault, why couldn't she see that?

"Thanks Maria" said James taking the backpacks.

"I already gave the rooms a cleanup" she kissed my cheek "Call me if you need anything, where are you staying tonight?" I didn't even fully register her words thinking of how the woman that had given birth to me had thrown me out of her house not even having the heart to say it at my face.

"My house" answered James "We´re just waiting for the furniture store to deliver his stuff"

"Ok then, take care of him" she gave me a hug and walked away.

"Kendall" James cupped my face with his hands, he looked at me in the eye before he gave me small kiss and embraced me strongly.

James PoV

I felt his heart beat against mine as he hugged me back. Somehow he had managed to keep his eyes dry, but I felt his body cry, he was shaking and the sadness clouded his emerald gaze, he tugged my shirt cursing his mother. I hated that woman with all my guts, how could she do this to her own son? Didn't she realize how awesome Kendall was?

"I don't want to hate my mother" he whispered burying his face on my neck. What was I supposed to say? Don't hate that bitch? Love her even if she hates you? Well she was his mother after all "You don't know what to say, do you?" he laughed as he straighten himself and rested his forehead in mine, I was starting to love this position too much.

"I'm not good with pep talks…I'm such a bad boyfriend" I felt myself blushing as he laughed dryly.

"Well today you are, but you can still make it up to me" at least his eyes weren't so gloomy anymore "Lets go inside, it's getting cold out here" we walked to get inside the house.

"How can I make it up to you?" I had a small feeling that I knew what he wanted from me and the bulge in my pants was all too happy to comply his wishes.

"Well you can start by helping me get the bed to the second floor" he guided me to the back of the house, right next to the woodshop where a bed frame rested. I tried to mask my deception, I'd even gotten Carlos to ask Kendall to take him home just to get some needed alone time with my boyfriend and now he wanted me to carry his furniture. Damn it!

"You go backwards, I don't like not seeing where I'm going" he nodded after I said that and we picked up the frame and started the hellish path to the second floor, why did the Germans have to make such narrows stairs? I loved the house but this was a pain in the ass…and I knew about pains in that area "I hate your house right now" I said when we had finally made it to his bedroom.

"Don't worry, I'm hating it too" he took a deep breath "Now the mattress" I groaned starting to walk down again, at least the mattress was lighter and more flexible than the bed so this time it took less effort to do it.

"There it is, your new bed" I commented looking at the queen size bed in the middle of the room.

"Perfect" he said hugging me from my back "The furniture store said that the truck will arrive at seven, we have some time" I shivered as I felt his hands on my hips, his thumbs slowly making their way to the hem of my pants "Thank you for getting rid of Carlos" he whispered taking my ear between his lips, I could barely stifle a moan.

"You're…welcome" I tried to turn myself but he kept a strong grip on me triggering all my alarms making me completely still.

"Hey, hey, don't be scared James…I'm sorry" he turned me right away making me look at him "I didn't think that would scare you"

"I didn't think that would scare me either, I'm such a wimp" I looked at my shoes ashamed "There I go telling everyone I'm better and when it comes to prove that I am, I woos up"

"It's not something to be ashamed of…" his face grew colder and I got to see pure hatred in his eyes "He always did it from your back, didn't he"

"Yes…" I closed my eyes hating the memories.

"Then I will never do it like that" he kissed me, sweetly at first awaiting for me to kiss him back, when I did he began to push me to the bed, walking without pulling apart one inch. My hands found the hem of his shirt and I started to lift it eager to touch his skin.

Kendall raised his arms letting me take off the piece of clothing, I looked at him feeling my mouth dry, he was beautiful, his tanned skin, his abs. He smiled capturing my eyes, I wasn't ashamed of practically eating him with my eyes, he was worth it. Kendall took a step closer and started unbuttoning my shirt…slowly.

"Patience" he murmured pulling me to another kiss before he also got anxious and ripped my shirt wide open…which got me even more turned on, I lost no time in claiming his lips again, taking control of the kiss and guiding us to the bed, he fell on his back when his knees bumped in the mattress, he licked his lips watching me dispose of the shirt.

"Patience" I winked using his same words, he laughed as I made my way back to him sitting on his lap without touching him keeping my weight on my legs, I leaned down to kiss him and got caught in the middle by his eager lips. I kept leaning on him more, we both moaned when we felt our bare chests touching, he flipped us over and started kissing my neck making me gasp, it felt so good.

"Remember what I told you on the phone?" I nodded sensing his hand touching my chest "Sensible nipples" he smiled at my hear pinching one making me groan "Music to my ears" annoyed at his superior tone I pulled his hair making him kiss me again, when I felt him give in I crossed my legs behind his back.

"And I remember the couch too" I murmured grinning at his frown before I rocked directly at his boner making us groan in unison. He hissed as I continued not letting him move apart. I closed my eyes when I felt his lips back at my neck and going lower until I felt his tongue around my nipple.

"Fuck" I toped moving loving the sensation of his mouth savoring me, then his hand started moving lower.

"Look at me James" he commanded in a husky voice, I opened my eyes locking hazel with emerald watching his left hand take a firm grip in my hips as the right one started massaging my clothed erection.

Kendall PoV

My cock twitched watching his head fall back in pleasure, his dark and lusty eyes going right back to me right away, apparently he enjoyed looking at me having my way with him and I loved it. I pressed my hand receiving a guttural moan in return, not resisting I kissed his chest smiling at his breath intake, his respiration had quickened and he was rock solid under my hand. I started to unbutton his pants widening my eyes when I freed his erection…he wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Shit…" I had to take a breath resting my head on his abs not prepared for the wave of ecstasy that ran though my body seeing him like that "Commando?" I looked at him, he was flushed and a nice cape of sweat was forming in his body gluing his hair to his forehead making him the sexiest person I had even seen.

"Got… used to…in juvy" he panted biting his lip; that meant that he had been jacking off the entire time we talked on the phone. Fuck, I could come just thinking about it. He started to sit, I knew that if I didn't compose myself he would gain control and I didn't want that, I wanted to show him how awesome sex could be, erase all his bad memories, so I fisted his dick stopping him from moving more, I raised my eyes as I passed my thumb through the tip.

"God!" he gasped remaining sited digging his nails in the mattress and shutting his eyes, I decided to use that moment to lower his pants and get closer to his body going directly to his lips as I continued to caress his cock "Kendall…" he moaned making me impossibly harder. I pushed him making him lay on his back again starting to pump him, he grabbed me by the shoulders keeping his head close to mine as he moaned. I continued to kiss his neck smiling when he started to rock at my fist loosing himself to the sensation.

"You're so beautiful" I moaned when I felt a small bite on my neck and his hands making their way to my…"Fuck" I groaned when he palmed me, he wasn't all that submissive after all.

"Did you think…you'll get all the fun?" he graved my neck and kissed me roughly making me moan under the attentions his tongue was giving me; I felt my pants loosen up and his hands going directly under my boxers, I shuddered when his hand came in contact with my manhood.

"James…wait" I could barely say when he started pumping.

"What for?" he looked at me slowing his rhythm but not stopping making a lot harder to talk.

"I want you inside me" his eyes widen at my words.

"Are you sure? I-I could hurt you" he stopped, I kissed him slowly before looking back at his eyes.

"No, I'm sure"


	15. Author s note

I´m so so so so so soo sorry! I thought I could write some more today but I have finals and big projects and the minute I walked home I fell asleep and when I woke up I had to do tons of homework! The time I finished I was so tired, but even like that I tried to write…having no luck inspiring myself, I need to do this right, I hate writing just because I have to, I need to feel the story and write it right (also for respect to you my loveable readers!).

The last chapter I had to end it there cuz I was in the family computer and my whole family arrived, yeah writing smut in a crowded room it´s kind of impossible for me! But I promise you I **will** upload more chapters tomorrow (yes CHAPTERS!) to make it up to you! And because I have to get my head away from school haha

Lots of rusher love to you guys! And please tell me that you already heard the new song!

Blow Your Speakers equals my new fave xD

Take care and please don't hate me!


	16. Chapter 15

Hahaha it´s so funny reading that other great writers are completely swallowed by school xD I feel like I´m drowning! But at least I´m not alone hahaha.

So being mother´s day and being frigging tired I present to you the next chapter:

CHAPTER 15

James PoV

I shuddered in pleasure the minute I heard his words, I freed my hand from his pants to cup his face and kiss him hard loving that he didn't put much up a fight and let me have my way inside his mouth. He stopped kissing me before getting on his knees taking away my pants leaving me completely naked and then he stretched his hand barely touching my erection with his fingertips smiling at my annoyed growl, I needed a lot more than that.

"Eager aren't, we?" I rolled my eyes watching him dispose of his clothes, I couldn't take it longer, he had made sure that I was all turned on and horny, now he was paying the price; so I sat grabbed his arm and pulled him to lay under me claiming his lips once again.

"Are you sure we´re doing this?" I looked inside his eyes for any sign of doubt trying to control myself, but knowing that we were both naked and that if I lowered my hips just a little I could feel him with my dick, was proving that maintaining my sanity was a hard task.

"Like I´m naked…under my…" I moaned when he bucked his hips making our erections rub each other "Boyfriend" he started rocking against me making me lose control.

"Ok" I kissed him fiercely lowering my hand until I was touching the sensitive skin around his entrance, he gasped when I started to let my finger inside.

"Does it hurt?" I asked kissing his neck and chest leaving small wet traces around his gold skin while I began to move the finger.

"Feels …weird" he breathed closing his eyes and before I knew it he was rocking against my finger moaning lightly. I smiled glad that I wasn't hurting him before slowly added another digit, this time he bit his lip and frowned; concerned about taking his mind away from the pain I continued my attentions to his skin, lowering my face to take a nipple between my teeth nibbling it making him forget the intrusions inside his ass. He sighed when I started a soothing motion with my other hand around his hipbone as I moved my fingers looking for that special bundle of nerves.

"Ready?" I asked letting my forehead rest in the crook of his neck continuing with my search, I grinned when he let out a cry raising his chest and letting his head roll back. _Bingo_. I carried on curling my fingers caressing his prostate.

"James!…" he griped my neck hard directing me to his lips, this time he did battle and I let him win "Get on with it" he whispered at me ear.

"You´re not…" he seized a strand of my hair tugging it slightly making me moan.

"Now!" he looked at me in the eye, I couldn't say no to those deep green eyes. He hugged my waist with his legs as I grabbed my erection and pointed directly in his hole taking my fingers out.

He gasped when my tip touched him, I took a deep breath and started to push my eyes never leaving his face. I stopped when a long hiss escaped his lips and he closed his eyes hardly.

"Don´t stop" I nodded maintaining my lips sealed, it felt so good.

The minute I was completely inside him I stopped, taking all my will force to not moving and wait for him to adjust, I watched him worriedly as a small tear appeared in the corner of his eye.

"I love you" I whispered kissing the tear´s trail and resting my forehead on his awaiting his signal; when his face started to relax, I began to leave small kisses around his face and neck trying to calm his pain. Then he opened his eyes and looked at me before moving his hips testing the sensation, I had to bit back a growl preventing my body from moving.

"Go" he muttered after he gave me a kiss. I baked my hips entirely before going back inside in a slow motion, I kept that same phase for a while, knowing that even if it felt like heaven it wasn't near the phase we both needed to release.

The minute he started meeting my trusts I gained confidence and speed, I thrust hard aware of Kendall´s nails digging inside my back and his moans and gasps growing louder every time. I sensed a growing pressure inside my lower abs, I was so close. I kissed him before fisting his dick not wanting to come without him, I pumped him loving how noisy he was.

"J-JAMES!" he screamed coming in my hand, his inner walls contracting against me sent me to the edge.

"KENDALL!" I came inside him riding my orgasm until my body couldn't take more and I collapsed on top of him.

Kendall PoV

Fuck. That was all I could think about as my mind started to work again. That had been by far the best sex I had ever experienced, even if I had been bottom, which I wasn't used to at all. Only two times before in my life I had been like this, the first was when I lost my virginity to Jett and the second one with a guy I´d met in a hockey game, the second one wasn't pleasant at all. I hissed when James got out of me and laid on my side breathing deeply.

I turned to the side to see him. He had his eyes closed, his face looked happy and relaxed, he even looked a little younger, like all the roughness, sadness and hurt his expressions held had evaporated. I raised my hand passing my fingers through his eyebrows, his forehead, his cheeks and jaw.

"You can´t fall asleep, the furniture truck will be here soon" I said in a low voice sensing his slow breaths.

"Then stop doing that" he responded barely moving his lips. I grinned before I leaned and kissed him "I love you" he opened his eyes taking my breath away, they were so shiny and joyful that I found hard to believe he was the same guy crying in that park bench a couple of days ago.

"I love you too" he cupped my face changing his expression to a serious one.

"Thank you" James said "For being curious about me, for asking me, for being impulsive and challenging me to get out of my shell, for being your loving, funny, sexy self…thank you so much Kendall" I was speechless, his eyes were teary but no sadness was found inside them "And thank you for giving me the best sex ever"

"You´re welcome. Thumbs up for the best speech" I laughed rubbing out noses together "Come on, we already gave some good use to this bed and it´s time to use the shower for the first time"

"I don't think I can go for round two" he closed his eyes again.

"And you say I´m the perverted one, I´m talking about taking a shower to clean all the cum from me" I signaled my abs sticky with my cum and the small stream of his cum outside my ass. He opened one eye looking at me before a crooked grin made its appearance.

"You look so hot like that" he commented, if I wasn't so drained I would had felt a boner after hearing his words.

"If you don't want to go, then stay here" I sat and winced at the soreness in my backside, I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Come on" he grabbed my hand and we walked to the bathroom closing the door behind us.

"Do you want to go to a party?" I asked remembering what Jo had told me at school as I opened the running water, but then a thought stoke me and I grinned looking at my confused boyfriend.

"What?"

"We _are_ going to that party" he raised his eyebrow "If you´re going to read that many comic books you have to have a social life to give balance to your life…and to not make me completely crazy for having a geek boyfriend" I smiled getting inside the stream followed by him. I grimaced at the sensation of his cum running through my legs, it had started to hurt a little.

"No shampoo, I guess just water is fine" murmured James making me laugh.

"Not fighting your right to decide if you go to the party or not?" I closed my eyes letting the water run through my face.

"I am in the mood for going out" he kissed me "Not move I want to get wet too" I moved smiling, he had to slightly bend himself in order to get the water on his head. I swallowed watching him take his hair back and his face lit up in peace, I let my eyes roam through his body following a drop that fell from his neck and left a trail on his toned chest before losing itself just above his…hardening cock.

"Not up for round two?" I mocked knowing that we both were tired but apparently our bodies craved for each other.

"Shut up" he rolled his eyes "Lets get dressed" he breathed turning off the shower and stepping out "Fortunately you have a towel…why a towel and not shampoo?" he asked starting to dry himself.

"I have no idea how long this thing has here" I answered truthfully taking it away from him and drying myself. I grabbed him by the shoulder and kissed him nibbling his lower lip making him groan, he grasped my hips joining out bodies rubbing back our erections, I was all willing to force him to second round when I heard a loud knock probably at the front door.

"Fuck" he hissed giving me a last peck before opening the door and running to get dressed, I followed his actions.

"They took away your underwear, didn't they?" he slowed down and looked at the floor, his cheeks tinted pink.

"Yeah…after that first time, when I returned I didn't have any boxers left, I asked my parents for more but it was the same story" I walked and stood behind him and kissed his shoulder.

"I don't care why you don't wear them, I just know that it´s too fucking sexy" he smiled and I finished dressing up when we heard another knock.

"Coming!" I screamed.

James Pov

I saw him walk down, I felt weird, like I was me again but a part of me didn't want to go back to my old self. The way his eyes were glued to me as I showered reminded me of how I looked…I was such an egocentric guy, I knew that, however this time it wasn't just lust I saw in his stare, but love, admiration and possessiveness...that last one I didn't like but I guessed that it was a part of him.

I raised my eyes and started laughing when I saw the mattress: it was wet and it smelled of sex. I walked to the other end of the room and opened the window before flipping the mattres; I didn't want the guys from the furniture store to give me the weird eye.

"James! Tell them where to put the couch!" yelled Kendall from below while I was putting on my vans and two men came in view carrying the couch.

"The next room" I walked there and they took it, when they were done one of them asked me about the other things, I told him to let them in the same room curious about Kendall not being there.

"It's a nice place" commented the elder looking one.

"Yeah, perfect" I looked around; I didn't need someone else to tell me how awesome that house was. The man nodded before walking back to the stairs when I was about to follow him I felt my phone vibrate in my pants.

"Hello Logie!" I answered happy to talk to my best bud.

"Okay, that creeps me out" he talked slowly "Wait…did you and Kendall have sex?" his voice became a high pitch.

"Why does everyone say that?" I rolled my eyes.

"So you did" ok Logan and my mom were too alike for my own sake.

"Yeah" I sighed happily "About fifteen minutes ago"

"Wow, you´re not naked now, are you?"

"Nope, you can relax Logan" I sat on the couch watching the furniture guys bring the tv inside. No sign of Kendall yet.

"And how was it?...no wait! Don't tell me…ugh you sound happy, that means it wasn't traumatic, right?"

"Yup, it was liberating and awesome" I sighed closing my eyes "I´m in love"

"Aha, I can hear that…have you talked to Camille?"

"I thought you didn't know her" I mocked before he started rambling about their story "I know, she told me" I assured him watching the workers install the tv.

"And…did you tell her that you know me?" he sounder all too interested.

"Nope, sorry…but I´ll talk to her on Monday, if you want to I´ll tell her" I realized that no one other than Carlos knew about Kendall and I, maybe going to the party wasn't such a good idea.

"How did she take about you guys being together?" I was starting to worry about Kendall, seeing him all excited about his tv back at the store had assured me that he would be right there watching the guys install it.

"She doesn't know…Logan I´ll call you later, ok?" I said when the workers signaled him that they were done.

"I guess, bye" I hung up following the two men to the first floor.

"Kendall?" I started looking inside the woodshop, then I walked to the store only to find him laughing with another guy…a hot other guy, he looked about a _my_ age, he had short brown hair, a strong jaw and a smile that almost looked… flirty "Ahem" I sounded my throat when the stranger touched Kendall´s arm.

"Oh James, come here" smiled Kendall extending his hand, I walked to meet him not getting my eyes away from the other guy.

"So this is your new toy" I flinched at his words, Kendall just gave an eyeroll not doing much for defending me.

"Shut up, he´s my boyfriend" he took my hand.

"That's what you call them now?" he eyed me from head to toe "His not bad I might add"

"Dude, I´m standing right here, quit talking like I´m not" if he was a friend of Kendall I had to be polite and not crush his pretty face for treating me like an idiot.

"Sorry, sorry, normally his whores don't care" I smiled hoping to hide how bad that stung "I´m Jett by the way" he offered his hand.

"The famous Jett" I took it keeping my smile sensing Kendall´s eyes on me, he knew that my good mood was just a charade "Kendall told me you used to date"

"_Used_ sounds like an awfully long time" he laughed before looking at the back of the store "Kendall I think those man want to talk to you" he said referring to the furniture guys, Kendall looked at both of us before sighing in defeat and walked to the two men. Jett went back to me "We have an on and off thing, right now we´re both in relationships so don't worry about it" ok that wasn't expected at all.

"Sure" I had no idea what to do, I had never had a boyfriend and the whole _talk to or about his ex_ thing was _way_ out of me.

"Quit telling him nonsense Jett" came Kendall to the rescue "I´ll see you at Jo´s?" I blinked. _WHAT?_

"Aha, are you taking…what was your name again?"

"James" answered Kendall.

"James…are you going too?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah I´ll be there" I put my hands on my pockets, Jett just nodded before waving me good bye and then he grabbed Kendall by his neck and _kissed_ him full on the lips.

"Bye babe" Jett smiled walking away and Kendall waved at him like he didn't just kissed another guy in front of me.


	17. Chapter 16

I couldn't end this story without having a small Kames fight and…some other surprise that you´ll see in this chapter xD I decided to have some more sexy moments before the end…ahh school was awful, but I love it and now it´s all done, so I´ll use this time to get on with this thing xD

Thank you all for your reviews! I love u guys!

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 16

James PoV

I was _so_ not being the over dramatic boyfriend, but I wasn´t happy seeing Kendall kiss some other guy like it was no big deal. KISSES WERE A BIG DEAL!

"Do you usually kiss people goodbye on the lips?" I found myself asking not looking at him.

"That was nothing James, just a peck, doesn't mean anything" he rolled his eyes "Don´t be such a drama queen"

"Wanting a little respect from my boyfriend is being a drama queen? Fuck that Kendall! You let him kiss you! Even with me next to you…what would you let him do if I wasn't around?" I looked at him rage boiling inside me. I wasn't anyone's toy.

"I would never cheat on you James…and yeah I think you´re being over dramatic, I won´t change the way I am with my friends because you came around" he spoke slowly, he was also getting mad but he seemed like he sincerely thought he was right, shame I had a different opinion, kisses weren't something to go giving to everybody, they were a special _treat_ to show love and affection. _NOT_ to give them to your ex boyfriend like it was an everyday thing "Now come on, let´s give that couch some good use" he winked and for the first time in almost a week I wanted to hit that pretty face of his.

"How about you take me home?" I questioned trying with all my being to look relaxed and in a better mood. We had have sex just minutes ago! That wasn't how things were supposed to be!

"Why?" he blinked taken back by my request.

"I have to let my parents know that I´m going to the party and I want to change my clothes, you can leave me there and pick me up at 9:30" I smiled gaining a frown from him.

"You´re still mad…James, don't be like that" he sighed annoyed, I needed to get him of my back and the only thing that could prove him that I _wasn't _mad was to give him some love, so I grabbed him by his neck and kissed him deeply feeling my heart hammer inside my chest like every time our lips touched, the only bad thing was that this time a part of me also wanted to punch him hard for being a jerk.

"I´m not" I lied smiling "Please?" I was surprised I could master the puppy eyes at that moment.

"Ok, ok" he grinned opening the door "After you" yeah, he was polite now.

The ride home was filled with my fake laughs and chatter; I could really earn an Oscar for my acting. Kendall didn't even look at me weird or thoughtful, like he didn't believe my charade. Just once I saw his eyes shine with some estrange emotion, but that small light disappeared the second I blinked so I let it go.

"I pick you up at 9:30?" he asked me taking my hand, like some part of him sensed that I was thinking of not going "James?"He touched my face caressing my cheek, I sighed closing my eyes before looking at him.

"Sure" he leaned and kissed me softly "Bye" my face started to hurt after forcing so many smiles.

I got out of the car and went inside the house without looking back. I walked to my room and jumped in my bed closing my eyes before giving an annoyed yell against my pillow. I was such an idiot. I had fallen in love with a guy I barely knew and had sex with him just after a day of relationship. Talk about _easy_! And then I expected him to treat me different than the rest of his boy toys.

"Fuckingidiot! After all that!" I screamed through the pillow muffling my shouts "Youjustgaveintoanasshole…AH!" I jumped when I felt a hand on my back, I turned to find my father looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Care to explain" he said before closing the bedroom door. Oh no, the only thing I needed was talking about my boyfriend problems with my dad.

"It´s nothing dad" I sat on my bed avoiding his gaze.

"James I´m insulted if you think I´m leaving just like that after that _outburst_" he crossed his arms "Talk. Now"

"Did you know that therapists strongly recommend listening to your children and not try to get the truth out of them?"

"Don't give me shit James, we both know that's the only way for you to tell me anything" I grimaced before I stood up and looked at me in the mirror, no wonder Kendall had such a star struck expression when he saw Jett, that guy was all sex appeal, and me…my hair was all messed up and long, my jeans were loose not doing anything for my ass, my tee was all but nice, the only good thing about my clothes were my shoes and you can't be sexy just by using the right footwear.

"Dad, do you have some extra money?" Kendall was possessive and jealous, if he didn't want to hear me out and stop doing things like that with Jett, he would certainly listen to my demands when he saw that I wasn't just for his eyes to stare, that I had just as many –or maybe more- _followers_ than him…of course that would happen once I could man up and be _something_ like my old self.

"Why?" my dad's face lit up recognizing the gleam in my eyes "You want to go shopping"

"I'm starting to not love my current clothes…" my eyes went back to the mirror feeling awfully self aware, one thing was not trying to look appealing and other was completely forgetting personal presentation…how did I manage to live like that for almost six months?

"How about we take a look at your old ones? I'm pretty sure they still fit and most of them were new" I looked at him with wide eyes, I never imagined that they would have kept my clothes after I'd told them to burn them.

"You have them?" he nodded before opening the door and signaling me follow him.

We went to the garage, he started looking through some plastic boxes until he smiled and pulled one out, it wasn't big so I figured that they hadn't kept all my clothes, maybe just the newer ones.

"Your mother washed them a couple of days ago probably sensing that you might need them. If they don't fit, or you don't like them anymore we can make a garage sale and you can buy more with the money you get" he spoke putting his hand on my shoulder "Are you going to tell why the sudden change of moods? Did you and Kendall have a fight?"

"Something like that" I started to look at the clothes, my favorite skinny jeans were there, along with some other nice pants and shirts, God I loved my parents "I got jealous and he told me I was a drama queen knowing that he is the possessive pig in this relationship" wow my favorite sweater, I was going to look so good tonight "And I don't like it, so when he picks me up I'll look better than any other time and gain every guy´s attention to let him know how I felt"

"Are you going somewhere?" I turned smiling.

"I am going to a party and Kendall's ex its going to be there" my dad made a small _ohh_ face understanding my dilemma.

"I remember the first time I met your mother's ex, he was rich, hot and your grandpa loved him…hard to beat for a guy that didn't look that bad but worked at a convenience store trying to pay his studies" wow we had something on common, the exs were a big catch.

"What did you do?"

"I trusted your mother, she told me that she loved me and I believed her…and made myself a better catch to her father's eyes" he chuckled "I guess that given that Kendall's mom isn't that interested on her son, I guess you just have to trust him and maybe let him know that he can never take you for granted and that he has to treat you with respect every day"

"Thanks dad" I smiled hugging him before grabbing the box and starting to walk to my bedroom, I got inside and closed the door.

I took a shower before going back to the box, put on my jeans glad that they stilled fit, even if they were a little tighter it wasn't too much. Then I put on my gray shirt and my fave sweater, it was black with a V neck finishing the outfit with my converse, not too much but I knew I looked good.

"Wow, did you muscled up?" said Katie when I got out of the room looking for her, furrowing I looked at myself in the mirror, I did look _bigger_, the sweater hugged my arms just the right way and my chest looked really good. Kendall beware, I was hot again.

"Nah, I just dressed better" I grinned "Baby sis, will you iron my hair?" I was too lazy to do it myself.

"I thought you'll never ask" she smiled taking my hand directing me to her bedroom "I love that your hair is longer, it´s going to look so good" I smiled, in the past she had bugged me a million times to let my hair grow, now it was longer, I felt it tickling my neck and I knew Kendall also loved it, so iron it was the perfect step to disguise the bad haircut I had.

"Nice I want to leave my boyfriend with his jaw on the floor and then I´ll teach him to treat me nice or he will have to forget about me" I hoped he got the idea, I didn't want to fight with him, those days had been awesome and I loved him. I couldn't think of ending our short relationship just like that, but thanks to him and my new found respect I wasn't letting anyone toy with my feelings. So by doing this I risked a lot, including my happiness.

Kendall PoV

It was almost 9:30. I sighed relaxing a little bit, I had been so afraid of receiving a text from James telling me that he didn't want to go to the party that I had been completely hysterical annoying my dear best friend…and annoying Carlos was a big accomplishment. I groaned passing a hand through my face, I had hurted him, he had tried to hide his anger by talking nonsense and smiling, but I noticed his eyes were cold and hard. A lot like the time we had fought that first day.

"I told you he would go" I looked up to Carlos who was texting furiously.

"I don't even get why he was that mad" my friend stopped and glared at me "What?"

"Kendall, you kissed another guy in front of your boyfriend, no one would like that" he spoke slowly, like he was trying to explain it to a five year old.

"It was Jett, I always greet him like that…fuck him if he things I will change the way I am with my friends just because he doesn´t like it" I crossed my arms sitting on his desktop chair.

"But Jett isn't your friend, he´s your ex…and you have a not too sane relationship with him" he closed his phone looking at me straight in the eye "Kendall you´re an idiot, you go claiming that you love him and the next second you´re kissing your ex in front of him" he had a harsh expression "I had already told you a lot of times that I don't like how you toy with people or that you keep contact with that guy, and James seems like a nice dude and he´s Logan´s friend, I won´t let you hurt him or play with him like all the others" I stood silent, having Carlos treating me like this meant that _maybe_ I was wrong, but I cared about Jett, he had made me the man I was and I wanted to keep him close to me.

"I have to pick him up" I got up and walked outside the house and into my car. I drove fast and getting there just in time, I got out and knocked at his door.

"Hi Kendall" said Mr. Diamond when he opened the door "Come on in, James´ not ready yet" he showed me the way to the living room, I had no idea how to deal with _the parents_, I prayed for please James to hurry up "I heard that you´ll be sleeping here tonight" way to get to the point Mr. D.

"James mentioned something…we haven't settle things out" I scratched my neck uncomfortable.

"Do you want to stay?" his dark eyes glared at me.

"W-well if he asks me a-and you let me y-yes" ok earth swallow me please! "B-but my apartment´s ready so I think I´ll sleep there"

"I think that …"

"Dad!" screamed James getting there stopping whatever words were coming out of his father´s mouth "Don't talk please!" I was too busy not drooling over my boyfriend to really care of what his father was about to say. Oh fuck. He looked amazing; his pants were tight as in fucking sexy tight, and knowing that he wasn't wearing anything under them made my mouth water. He was wearing a shirt and a sweater above it, that black sweater did an amazing job showing his muscles, fuck! He had even ironed his hair.

"I was just saying…" continued James´ dad.

"Kendall lets go" he grabbed my hand and dragged me outside the house "I can´t believe him" he rolled his eyes letting go of me.

"You look hot" was all I could say not taking my eyes from his ass.

"Thanks" he smiled leaning to my ear and kissing my jaw "Now close your mouth you´re beginning to drool"

"Is this a small taste of _old_ James?" even his posture was different, he was straighter and had a smug grin plastered on his mouth.

"This is me, I´m back thanks to your…attentions" he winked walking to the car and getting inside.

We drove in silence just hearing the music and singing a bit, he was still a little distant and he hadn't even tried to kiss me once, he was still mad and I had to admit that I feared that if I kissed him he would punch me.

"Hey stranger!" greeted Jo when we entered the house, her eyes went straight to James and I could almost see two hearts coming out of her orbs "Hi James" she purred reminding me that I hadn't told her about us.

"Hello Jo" he smiled raising his eyebrow "You look _nice_" he accentuated that last word before he took her hand and made her spin on her heels.

"Well thank you" he let go of her hand and hugged my waist attracting her stare automatically "Are you guys together?"

"Yeah" I smiled noticing that James was picking up some interested viewers making me start to see green.

"Good, you make a nice couple" she sounded kind of disappointed "Anyhow, there are beers and soda in the kitchen"

"I don't know about you but I need a beer" he said surprising me, I didn't drink and I though he didn't either, but apparently I was mistaken "Wait here for me, I won´t take long" and he left me there standing in the doorway. Ok I didn't like this James.

"So you came" I turned to the side to find Jett, he leaned down to kiss me but I moved aside.

"Not in the mood" I walked to the kitchen looking for my boyfriend, I found him happily talking to a guy that I remembered from one of Jett´s parties, who clearly was eating James with his eyes.

"You took long enough" I said standing next to my boyfriend and eyeing the other dude letting him know that the brunette god standing at my right was taken.

"Kendall this is Freddy, he´s in the college hockey team" explained James taking a sip of his beer smiling "Captain right?"

"Yeah!" the idiot smiled "Best player last season" I fisted my hands when he _scanned_ James, and my boyfriend just grinned that fucking smug grin again.

"Awesome, I love hockey…and its players" he winked…he fucking _winked_ at him.

"Glad I have a fan" the dude and James toasted with the beer bottles "Wanna dance?" ok it was time to intervene.

"Sorry, can´t" smiled James taking my hand and walking to the living room where a mass of bodies were dancing "How about _we_ dance?" he looked at me and I grimaced.

"I don't dance" I was waiting for the puppy dog eyes but instead I got a cold glare adorned by a calm expression.

"Come on, I love dancing" he drank more beer before eyeing me "If you don't want to I will ask somebody else" I laughed at this, just a day ago he couldn't even hold his father, he was crazy if he thought I would fall for that treat.

"Then go, I would _love_ to see that" he narrowed his eyes before going back to the hockey player, I watched him with my mouth open when he leaned and whispered something at the dude´s ear before taking his hand and going to the _dance floor_. They started dancing barely touching each other…I could take that, I had asked for it after all, I knew that making James angrier didn't lead to any good places but I kept going and now I had to suck it up and deal with it.

"Isn't that your boyfriend?" said Jett´s voice standing next to me.

"The one and only" I growled when the hockey player started to rub himself against James making him smile…he looked like he was enjoying it.

"Well now I can respect that guy, when I saw him at your place I thought that he was another looser, but I guess he knows that with you he isn't going anywhere, never more than one night stands, right?" ok that stung. I knew I had become something like a _manwhore_ lately but James wasn't like the other guys, I could never toy with him…I told him that I wouldn't change for him, but I had already changed, I remembered what was to have someone that cared about you more than anybody else, someone that listened to your problems, that made you think deeper about your actions…he knew how much I suffered for the lack of my mother´s love, he had seen me vulnerable and hurt. James had trusted me above his family and this was how I repaid him?

"Jett, what´s going on between us?" I was having a lot of trouble to not go and kill that fucking college hockey player.

"We´re friends with benefits" said that son of a bitch "And now that you´re on the market again we can go benefit each other" he got close to me and was about to take my neck when I moved aside.

"Not anymore Jett" I looked at him, he had a surprised expression "Not ever, James is special, I love him and I don't want to hurt him"

"Love him? Kendall you don't love, you don't know what love is" he laughed "You can go and pretend you care about the pretty boy, but we both know that you´ll be looking for me in less than a month…don't worry I will forgive you babe" he started to walk away.

"I won´t Jett, even if it doesn't work with James I won´t look for you" I said looking at him, I did know what love was, I was so capable of loving and I didn't like his words at all.

"We´ll see" now he didn't look as confident, seeing him have doubts about my words made me believe in them even more.

I started to walk to the mass of dancing bodies, I spotted James right away, and for my inner daemon's happiness he looked a little uncomfortable.

"May I interrupt?" I asked taking his arm, he gave me a raised eyebrow "Will you dance with me? Please" He made a thoughtful expression before nodding.

"Sorry" he said to the hockey player, the dude just raised his shoulders and went away. James started to swing his body along with the music, I didn't love dancing but I knew how to move and just as we started, the hip hop mixes came around. I took him by the hips smiling that he hugged me from the neck rocking his crotch against my leg slowly.

"I´m an idiot" I said to his ear "I´m so sorry" I kissed his neck "I told Jett that everything between us was done…no more shit, please forgive me James" he cupped my face before taking my lips fiercely at the same time he continued dancing along the beat.

"Lets dance" he smiled, finally a real smile.

We danced, rocking our bodies against each other, getting sweaty and hot. I started to get aroused just by seeing his pleasured expression in every move. We weren't touching that much, we were dancing a rated T kind of dance, but it was so erotic that if I didn't get him out of there I would probably give a show in front of my friends.

"Where are we going to sleep?" I asked talking directly at his ear.

"Your place" he smiled getting his hands inside my hair making me shiver before he kissed me.

"We had sex but I _need_ to make love to you" I said as I grinded our hips together, he let his head fall on my shoulder moaning.

"Is there any difference?" I nibbled his earlobe smiling at his question.

"You´ll see" I continued gridding him with my leg, he grasped my shirt hiding his face in my neck.

"S-stop" he gasped weakly when I pumped up the pace going with the music. I looked around, it was completely packed and no one was putting any attention to us "Kendall" he moaned as I gripped his ass not letting him move away from my trusts.

"I would be the hottest thing to watch you cum in here" I lowered my hand and started caressing his inner thigh getting my thumb awfully close to his crotch never stopping dancing or gridding him "Look at you trying to stiff your moans" he groaned, I was starting to find out that he was a bitch for dirty talk "Get my hand inside your sexy tight pants" I started to palm him, he hugged my shoulders not moving his face and starting to rock against my hand "You get all horny when I talk to you, don't you?" I was beginning to understand why he had been so different when we were at the phone than when we were at the bed, the second time I had hardy said anything to him, and he had lasted longer, now I had just started talking and he was all turned on.

"I love…to hear your voice…like that" he whispered before some reggaeton started playing, normally I would had run away from that music, but now it was giving me the perfect opportunity to give an awesome orgasm to my boyfriend without being noticed. Hearing the music I started to unbutton his pants.

"Kendall…" he hissed taking his face deeper in my crook, I had a feeling that he was completely blushed, I unzipped his pants and got my hand in concentrating on moving a little to maintain the illusion of dancing. I started pumping him inside his pants giving him occasional kisses around his neck always keeping my eyes alert for unwanted attention. I felt my throat vibrating when he moaned against me trying to muffle the sound.

"Come for me" I passed my thumb through his tip before pumping him roughly until he let out a cry cumming in my hand. I continued stroking him getting all out, I was glad we wasn't near as messy as I was. I got my hand out of his pants and closed them waiting for him to do something, he kept breathing deeply until he looked up and rested his forehead against mine.

"Fuck you perverted bastard" he whispered smiling taking my breath away, he looked beautiful, his blushed cheeks, his hair slightly wet from his sweat, his lips swollen and his eyes glowing.

"You did like it" I raised my hand to take the hair out of his face "You are beautiful" he laughed getting impossibly redder.

"Thanks" he kissed me before looking down to our cum stained sweaters "At least I can take mine off" he said looking at me, I wasn't wearing anything underneath

"You will take more than that…lets go home" I smiled when started to take the sweater off and he looked at his jeans, they were stained but his shirt hid it well "Give me your sweater" he handed it to me and I folded on my arm resting it exactly where the cum was, James laughed before taking my hand.

"Lets go"

James PoV

We walked outside the house, I felt my legs wavy and I was really tired, but I wouldn't change what had happened minutes ago, that had been the most erotic and sexy thing I had ever done…even if I felt like a pervert for finding arousing doing that in a public place.

"James?" I turned to find Camille looking at me wide eyed "What are you doing here?" she was wearing pajamas and she was standing on the next house´s lawn maybe that was her house.

"He came with me" said Kendall smiling "Hi Camille, nice Pj´s" she looked taken back by his good mood "Now if you excuse us we have to leave" I smiled and waved goodbye before going back to Kendall´s car, we got in and he started driving to his apartment.

"I was Jett´s toy" I frowned at his sudden words before I turned to look at him "I can´t believe he almost made me give you up to stay with him" his eyes were fixed to the front, but I could see a disappointed gleam inside them "I am sorry, you´re the most important part of my life right now and I almost lost you…and when you were dancing with that guy I saw you relax and happy I-I…" he let out a frustrated growl "What would you have done if I didn't apologize?"

"Probably go home" I shrugged "Curse you for life and then try to look cool and unharmed about your actions" he laughed.

"That would suck for me, because seeing you like _that_ made me realized that you´re no longer the same guy of the park…" he looked at me sideways "You kind of creep me out tonight"

"I, what?"

"Never mind" he sighed before smiling at me showing his dimple "You´re you and I love you no matter what"

"Kendall, risking a lot telling you this I will come clean to you" he raised his eyebrow "I was freaking out today" he had a confused expression right before we parked in front of the store.

"Huh?"

"It was all a fake, the walking, the good mood, the dancing and flirting…even the beer, I don't like to drink that much" I shook my head amazed at my actions while I covered my face with my hand "Just to make you jealous" I felt his hand against my neck.

"I´m flattered and thankful…I guess I needed a kick in the ass" he kissed my cheek "Come on"

We got outside the car and in the house, he took my hand taking me to his new home, I smiled when we entered his room, he had made the bed and some other pieces of furniture were there, it started to look like a home. Kendall turned to face me and kissed me softly, I sighed against his lips feeling his hands in my chest. We undressed each other without losing contact, we weren't eager like the last time, at this moment I didn't even know if I could take more but I was happy to try.

"I know I told you I would make love to you but you look so tired" he smiled taking my hand guiding me to bed "Maybe tonight I can show you how much I care about you just by hugging you to sleep" I let him kiss me again before we both got inside the covers, we laid on our sides, he hugged my waist attracting me to his chest, I sighed closing my eyes and resting my head on his neck and hugging him back.

"You don't need to show me…but I like the idea of sleeping" I listed his heart beat starting to go to dream land "I wanted to stay here because I want to go with you to pick your stuff up and tell your mom how idiotic she´s being" I felt him tense before he tighten his embrace.

"I love you, so much James" he said before I kissed him raising my head.

"I love you too Kendall" and with that we spend our first night together sleeping in each other´s arms.

THE END

OMG! It´s done! Maybe someday I´ll upload some oneshots of these two, I love them so much! (Yeah one shots inside this story) but for now its over! I have to run back to my book haha xD

People so many thank yous for your support this weeks! I never thought this would have more than a 100 reviews o.o I´m flattered!

Take care! And fwy I want to see BTProm so baad! James dressed like a girl! OMFG!


	18. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 18

James PoV

I glared at the clock hating it for not moving faster. I had to stay a complete hour in Kelly´s office even if I had nothing to talk about.

"Not even gossip?" she smiled at me resting her head on her hand "Come on James, I get bored too"

"I no longer need this meetings, my dad is just over reacting" I groaned "I told him I couldn't come today but he _insisted_ that I had to come" And by insisted I meant the whole _my house, my rules_ thing. Yeah as much as I loved my family I was eager to start college and move in with Kendall.

"Why couldn't you come here?" her eyes glowed interested.

"The hockey final, Kendall´s playing in one hour and I have to be there early, he was kind of nervous and I need to calm him" ten more minutes "And because my parents are working and I don't have a car I have a half an hour bus trip to get there"

"How about we go outside and I start making your appointment sheets and then you fly from here" she smiled "I will miss you James, but you´re right you don't have to come weekly anymore, maybe once or twice a month will be enough"

"Really?" she nodded and we both stood up and started walking outside her office.

"Sit here, I just have to talk to my assistant" I walked to the chairs at the other side of the waiting room next to a red haired woman.

"Hi" she smiled.

"Hi"

"Hockey fan?" she eyed my jersey making me blush, Kendall had persuaded me to wear his lucky jersey for every game I attended to…that was every game for the last eight weeks in which his team had won every time and being all superstitious he had believed that it was thanks to me being there wearing that thing

"Yeah I am"

"My son loves it, actually he´s playing tonight" her eyes got brighter "I´ll get there as soon as that lazy secretary gives me my change" we both laughed, Kelly´s secretary was famous for her slowness inside the office.

"Is he at palm woods high?" Maybe I could ask the lady to give me a ride to the game. At this point I was desperate.

"Yes" she raised her eyebrow "Do you want a ride?"

"That would be awesome ma´am" I nodded hearing Kelly calling for me.

"It would be my pleasure" she got up following me.

"So James, I´ll see you in a month" said Kelly giving me an envelope "You just take this to your dad and you´re free"

"Thanks, I´ll miss coming here" I looked around the comfy office.

"Really?"

"No" she laughed hugging me before she waved good bye. I felt a small tug in my shirt signaling that the redheaded woman was calling me.

"Let´s go" smiled the lady "And I´m Jennifer by the way"

"I´m James" I said shaking her hand.

We both walked to the car, it wasn´t a big thing, a normal ten to fifteen years old small car. We got inside and she started the engine making me smile when the music started playing.

"You like Bon Jovi?" she asked me while she drove, I nodded "My husband used to be obsessed with Bon Jovi, he heard it every day when he was working"

"Used?"

"He passed away some years ago" she breathed sadly "In a car accident"

"I´m sorry" I grimaced remembering Kendall´s dad.

"Don't be, it was an accident caused by another driver" she gave me a half smile "Perfect way to talk to a young man, snatch him your old lady´s drama"

"You´re not old" I looked at my clock, I was going to have at least fifteen minutes with Kendall before the game, I could thank Jennifer by hearing her, I knew better than anyone that even if you went to the shrink sometimes a perfect stranger was the best way to talk about your problems "That´s why you´re going to the psychologist?"

"I got into a really bad depression when Patrick died and now I just went through a divorce, so yeah I guess I need some professional assistance…all for my son´s well being"

"That's admirable of you, some persons don't think about no one but themselves" Like Kendall´s mom, she hadn't even been there the day we had picked up his stuff. That had been the only time I had seen Kendall cry his heart out clinging to me like a lifesaver, he was so hurted that I couldn't do more than hate that bitch for doing that to her son.

"Yeah" she sighed lowering her shoulders "My son and I don't have…a great relationship, he hates me"

"Every teenage boy hates his mom at some point" I smiled remembering the time I stopped talking to my mother because she didn't want to buy me some expensive Cuda products, she had said that that stuff wasn't something I needed to be happy and I had told her that she was ruining my life…now that I remembered that, I knew she had been right, life was way more than hair products "But if you talk to him I´m sure he´ll come around"

"It´s not that simple"

"Do you love your son?" she nodded "Does he love you? Or do you think he loved you?"

"He loved me" Jennifer said in a small voice.

"Then it is simple, you just have to remember that you´re his mother, you gave life to him…I´m sure that he will forgive you, no son can really hate his mother…at least I couldn't hate mine"

"I hope you´re right" she entered the parking lot "Well we´re here" she turned off the car "Thanks for hearing me" she smiled.

"Thanks for the ride, now I really have to run, but talk to your son, I´m sure he´ll come around" we got out of the car and I waved her good bye before running to the hockey arena going straight for the locker room finding my boyfriend hunched in his seat with his head covered by his hands, luckily no one else was there.

"Hey cowboy" I hugged him from his back resting my head on his neck.

"You got here soon" he took my hand and started kissing my knuckles before pulling it making me move in front of him and kissed me full on the lips.

"I hitched a ride" I smiled against his mouth "How are you?" he groaned ducking his head on my neck hugging me "That bad?" he nodded sending chills through my skin when his nose and hair caressed my neck "I am wearing your lucky shirt, you shouldn't be nervous" he laughed not moving

"I wished my parents were here" I combed his hair with my fingers "They used to see every single one of my games…even my mom, she loved hockey"

"Your dad is here Kendall, within you, I´m pretty sure he couldn't miss his son´s greatest game yet…and your mom…" I trailed off no knowing what to say "Hey, I´ll be there cheering my lungs out for you"

"I love your pep talks" he kissed me; I didn't battle him loving the feeling of his tongue roaming carelessly through my mouth.

"Hey love birds…" we ended the kiss to glare at Carlos who had just entered the room "Now you please stop doing that before the whole team gets here and starts mocking you guys" we laughed.

"I´ll be outside" I gave him one last peck before standing up and walking to palm Carlos on his back "Good luck" he smiled and nodded at me before I got out looking for my seat right behind the team bench.

The game had been amazing, Kendall had really outdone himself and I cheered like a crazy fangirl for him the entire time, they had won the trophy and we went to celebrate to some guy´s house.

"Cheers for the best player! Kendall Knight!" screamed a team member raising his beer, me and the others followed him making a big grin appear at my boyfriend´s face.

"All thanks to you" Kendall smiled kissing my cheek gaining a big _uuuh_ from his team mates that tinted my cheeks pink. I could hardly believe how accepting all of them had been about our relationship, of course there had been the left over bully that tried to tease me like Kendall used to, but we had paid him a visit making him understand that I wasn't anybody´s bullied geek anymore.

"You´re welcome" I saw how his eyes darkened with lust making me swallow "How´bout we make our own celebration?"

"Love the way you think" he grinned before getting up taking my hand "Sorry guys I have a special celebration at home with my sexy boyfriend, bye bye" my face was like a tomato right now.

"Would you please not say things like that to your friends?" I said as we got out of the house followed by whistles and howls.

"Why? I love making you blush" Ugh fucking Kendall, now I was even redder! He smiled before taking me by the neck and kissing me furiously until my back was against his car, he got his leg between mine starting to press it to my crotch "Are you up for another public display of affection?" he asked making me moan, but oh no I wasn't letting him have his way that night.

"Not quite" I got him away from me "Lets go home" I smiled showing him his car keys "And I´m driving" I pushed him before getting inside the car widening my smile seeing his stunned expression as he shaked his head and got inside.

"You´re not the boss of…" I shut him up with a kiss, I was in the mood to make him crazy and begging for me to fuck him. So I started to massaging his thighs getting terribly close to his crotch but not making any attempt to touch it.

"Stop teasing" he breathed as I nibbled his neck.

"Stop talking" I palmed him hard loving the gasp he gave me "Time to go" I turned to the wheel keeping my right hand on him squeezing every time he tried to do something I didn't like while I drove us home…yeah I was starting to think about Kendall´s apartment as home. He moaned bucking his hips against my hand, I had to take a deep breath to focus on the road and not pull over and fuck him right there. Maybe I was his bitch for dirty talk, but he was my bitch every time I took control like this.

"James" he moaned looking at me through half lidded eyes and his cheeks flushed, his skin was slightly sweating and his breathes fast, I felt my cock twitched seeing him like that.

"Almost there" I pressed my hand making him groan gasping the seat throwing his head back.

We got to the Antique store, I stopped the car before going straight to Kendall´s lips, he parted them granting me complete access to his mouth savoring him before I gave a small bite to his lower lip, a moan escaping him.

"House now" he growled stopping me prior to getting out of the car. I grinned before I followed him, he had a huge boner and he was having trouble getting the key inside the lock.

"Do I help you?" I teased, he made a sound, it was something between a moan and a growl and then he rested his head on the door and started to take deep breathes. I wasn't going to let him calm himself anytime soon, so I walked to get just behind him, maybe I didn't like someone on my back but he didn't care, with this in mind I rested my hands on his sides before trusting forward rubbing my clothed erection right on his ass, Kendall hissed backing his hips looking for more friction.

"Fuck James, we need to get in" he pleaded as my hands found their way to his crotch and I started caressing it with my fingers.

"Then open the door" I kissed the back of his ear, he moaned before handing me the keys. I easily opened the door and pushed him inside not wasting time. I closed the door with my foot as he kissed me hungrily, we stomped our way to the stairs taking out shirts off in the way, then we had to break the kiss in order to climb up, as soon as we were on the second floor I pushed him against the wall rocking my hips forward while my hands started to open his pants and taking them away along with his boxers, I felt him shudder when my fingers started playing with his hard member, I smiled sensing a small line of pre-cum emerging from the tip.

"Fuck me now" I stopped at his words before I took at look at his face, his eyes were glowing with lust but they were forceful and direct telling me that his words weren't just because, he did want me to fuck him right at that time "No prep, just do it" he said opening my pants.

"K-Kendal…" he didn't hear me, he just pumped me making me groan.

"Please James, just do it" he hugged my waist with his leg letting the tip of my dick touch his entrance making both of us moan. I knew I would hurt him, a part of me remembered the pain of doing it unprepared, Kendall didn't know what he was asking for and I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"No" I said weakly, I was surprised that he had heard me, but he did and he took matters in his own hands, he pushed me of the wall and tripped me to the floor, got on top of me and before I knew it he was slowly sitting on my cock making me gasp at how tight he was. He hissed hiding his face on my chest and I felt something wet slide from his eyes, he was in pain and I had to make him better, trying to control myself I raised a hand and started pumping him, giving him all I got. Kendall started moaning against my skin relaxing a little; I panted when he started raising his ass resting his weight in his legs, I felt a kiss on my skin before he straighten himself and rammed himself back to me, I screamed in pleasure jerking back my head completely losing control as he bounced on me. I saw the trails of tears down his cheeks as he moaned starting to take pleasure out of my dick inside of him. Pulling myself together I shifted my angle knowing exactly where his prostate was and hitting it directly in the next movement. Kendall yelled, his eyes rolling back as I rocked that same spot every time. We had never done it this way, but I was sure we had to repeat it sometime, I loved having him above me, seeing his every expression, his hot body falling to be filled by me, his hands hanging on to my chest like a lifesaver...

"Kendall" I panted as I reached my orgasm grasping his legs opening my mouth in ecstasy trying to bring oxygen to my lungs. Kendall continued riding me searching his own release, when he did I almost came again at the felling of his walls contracting against my member, he screamed my name spraying his seed on my chest before he fell on my chest completely exhausted.

We stayed like that for who knows how long, just gaining out breath, I knew that I had to move Kendall soon or he would be extremely sore in the morning, but that seemed like a hard task.

"Hey" I kissed his head "We need to get to the bed" he didn't respond, I frowned before resting on my elbows to take a better look at the guy on my chest, he was asleep. I chuckled a little, I knew he was tired, but he had never slept on me "Kendall, wake up I can´t get up with you like this" he must had heard me because he murmured something incoherent and snuggled closer to me, I rolled my eyes before holding his hips and rising them to get out of him, he whimpered a little and opened his eyes to give me a sleepy glare.

"Can you let me sleep?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

"We can´t sleep on the floor, come on lets go to bed" he growled before starting to get up wincing and letting out a small _ouch_.

"Don't even speak" he said knowing that I had a _I told you so_ stuck in my tongue. I laughed getting up and waited for him to get a hold at himself before I took his hand and walked to the bed…Kendall just let himself fall on the matters and closed his eyes. I sighed taking a tissue from the bathroom and cleaned him and myself, then I moved him to free the blankets and finally I lied next to my boyfriend.

"Good night" I whispered knowing that not way in hell he would answer me but I got a nice surprise when he opened his eyes, rolled to the side and smiled at me.

"I love you, nice dreams" he kissed me and then he hugged his pillow and gave himself to Morpheus.

"Love you too" I closed my eyes and fell in a peaceful sleep.

One thing I hated about Kendall´s apartment was that exactly at 9:35 am a fine sunbeam made its way from the corner of the window right into my face waking me up at the same time every time. I groaned frowning before opening my eyes blinking at the light. Now I was awake, but I was too lazy to move so I decided to stay like that for a while…_SMACK!_ Kendall´s hand came crashing directly at my face.

"Auch" I whined getting said hand away glaring at the sleeping form of my boyfriend rolling my eyes, every time he got himself too tired he slept like a hyper kid, moving the whole night and occasionally hitting me by accident. Ok I thought that was cute, but in this case his cuteness hurted, deciding to skip further damage I sat and stretched myself before getting out of bed. I was in the mood for some nice breakfast, thinking about this I found some sweat pants and a tee from Kendall´s closet and walked down to the kitchen.

I turned on the radio keeping the volume down and started humming along Britney spears´ Till the world ends while searching the fridge.

"Eggs, bacon, juice…perfect" I grinned before I heard the door bell "Guess breakfast will have to wait" I was used to some clients showing up at this time every Saturday, it was a good sign, it meant that Kendall´s skills were gaining fame and that his desire to make his father´s shop like it used to be was becoming real "Coming!" I screamed checking my hair in the mirror before I opened the door.

"Hi I´m looking for…" Jennifer trailed over when she saw me "James" she widen her eyes.

"Hi" I smiled "Did I forget something in your car?" I asked thinking about my wallet.

"N-No" she blinked shaking her head "Do you live here?"

"Just the weekends…it´s my boyfriend´s house"

"Y-You´re Kendall´s boyfriend?" she gasped her purse and bit her lip.

"Yes, do you want to come in and check the store or…?" I shut up when she started shaking her head.

"My name is Jennifer Knight…I´m Kendall´s mom" I looked at her feeling a sudden repulsion, that was the woman that had said to the man I loved that she hated him despite being his mother, she was the one guilty of the ever present glow of sadness in his eyes, and now she was at his door´s step.

"What do you want?" my words sounded cold even to my ears, she winced at my sudden change of tone.

"Judging by the hatred in your eyes I´d say you know what I did to my son" she talked raising her chin "Now if you excuse me I want to talk to him"

"Yeah, you can´t do that" I laid on the door frame crossing my arms.

"James please, you´re the one that told me to speak to my son" she pleaded, her eyes shining with regret and pain "I followed your advice, that´s why I´m here" I had no idea what to say to her, I just knew that if Kendall saw her he would break and I didn't want to see him like that again. But at the same time I knew that the regret inside the woman´s eyes was real and after all Kendall had told me he missed his mom, maybe this was an opportunity to fix things between them.

"I won´t let you see him" she lowered her gaze and started to walk away "But" she stopped and turned to look at me "I want you to tell me what happened, and then I will decide if I help you or not" she thought about my words.

"Okay" I nodded, maybe we could speak in the kitchen, knowing Kendall he wouldn't be up for at least a couple of hours, and I really wasn't in the mood to go out.

"Come on in, Kendall´s asleep, we can talk in the kitchen" she entered, I saw how her shoulders began to shake a little.

"It´s so hard coming back here…everything it´s like him and Kendall" she whispered looking around with broad watery eyes.

"James?" we both stopped when we heard Kendall calling for me, I saw Jennifer take a sharp breath before starting to walk back to the door, she was respecting our agreement, but somehow I knew that they needed to talk and judging for our conversation inside the car she probably had a good reason for her actions.

"Down here" I said holding the woman´s hand stopping her, she looked at me with so much gratitude and fear that I felt a tug in my heart. They had to talk.

"My ass hurts like hell!" I blushed hearing his words "Damn, fuck I can´t even walk!" I turned to look at my boyfriend´s mom and she gave me a small smile and a light squeeze in my hand.

"Um Kendall…"

"But you have to admit that was the best…" he froze when he saw the thin woman next to me.

Kendall PoV

I was sore, I was fucking tired and now my mom was standing in my kitchen holding my boyfriend´s hand…What the fuck was that!

"What are you doing here?" I practically growled feeling all the pain of the last few years bottle up inside me forming pure hate towards that woman.

"She came to talk to you" spoke James; I looked at their joined hands before glaring at the traitor, he was supposed to hate her, not fall in her net "Don't give me that fucking look Kendall"

"It´s ok James" murmured my mother freeing her hand and stepping closer to me "I want to talk to you…"

"Get out" was what I said not giving her a second glance "I don't want to know anything about you…"

"If you please listen to me, just one hour it´s all I´m asking for" she begged "Then I will get out of your life is you ask me to" James winced before looking at me, his eyes told me to listen to her, but I was too confused at the moment.

"James, I need to talk to you" I grabbed his hand and started walking to the woodshop not even caring about the pain in my lower area "Why did you let her in? Sense when don't you hate her? What am I missing?" he bit his lip clearly thinking about his answer.

"Do you remember last night when I told you that I had hitched a ride?" I nodded "Your mom gave me the ride"

"And when exactly did you intend to tell me?" I asked not really mad, but somehow hurted that he kept that from me.

"I didn't know it was her, I had never met you mom…for me she just was a hockey mom that went to the same shrink as me" Wait what?

"Hockey mom? Shrink?" he smiled confusing me even more.

"She went to your game" James cupped my face "She cheered every goal you made, she looked so proud when she told me about you" I started moving my lips not making any sounds, he would never lie about something like that but I couldn't let myself hope again, it was too painful to have your love crushed by your own mother "I know this is hard, that's why I wanted to talk to her before you, just to be sure she wouldn't hurt you again, I never thought that you would pick today to get up early…Kendall she owes you an explanation, just please for your sake, give her an hour…"

"James I can´t…I know that for you it´s hard to comprehend a mother hating her son, but she…"

"Doesn't hate you" he looked at me in the eye "Please Kendall, just trust me you need to know what happened to her…"

"Do you know?" I gasped his hips starting to feel a little unsure, if James was willing to believe in her maybe as her son I should too…but it was so hard to leave every single hateful word she had said to me behind.

"Not exactly" he shrugged "Besides I was the one that indirectly told her to come and talk to you…lets take that as a sign"

"Fine, but only because you ask me to" he smiled and I kept my hold preventing him from moving "Before I get all moody for what I´m about to hear…" I kissed him hard letting our lips dance together until we had to take oxygen to our lungs "Morning" he let out a breathless laugh.

"I would ask how are you feeling but you kind of shouted to the whole neighborhood" he teased kissing my jaw "I told you it would hurt" I sensed a lot of emotions inside his voice, I wanted to dig deeper inside them but my mother was waiting for me in the kitchen.

"Will you stay there with me?"

"No, I think this is something you have to do by yourself…don't worry I´ll get changed and go get some breakfast" we broke apart and he started walking to the stairs as I made my way to the kitchen. My mom was there and for the first time in years I saw how different she looked from her old self. She was a mayor lawyer in the city; every time I thought about her she was wearing a navy suit, perfect hair and a strong expression. But now she was wearing jeans, an orange sweater and her hair was lose making her look a lot younger, contrasting with the grays that started to show in her hair.

"Hi" she said weakly, I didn't say anything, I just signaled her to sit in a bench at the kitchen´s island, I found my way to the other side of the island needing to be away from her.

"You wanted to talk…I´m all ears" I mumbled looking at my hands.

"Kendall I just want to tell you first that I won´t hold back anything…I owe you too much to not tell you the truth" I nodded signaling that I understood "W-when I told you that I hated you…I meant it" I flinched at her words feeling my heart crack, but I decided to man up and hear her out till the last statement "You were the reason I lost the love of my life, the reason I was all a-alone" her voice trembled "I hated you for taking that away from me" we both heard the front door close, James was out and I was left inside my house with a mother that hated me, perfect "I didn't even try to mask my hate, I told you so many times how much you disgusted me…I was so miserable in my own little world…that when Dave came I saw him as my savior, he was all I had dreamed about a man, he had a serious job, he was good looking and he knew how to control you" I stubbornly kept my eyes fixed in the table waiting for her to finish to get her the hell out of my house, I was just doing this for James "That first time you and him fought and I shoved you out of the house I felt weird, I was supposed to be happy for getting rid of you but I wasn't, I felt…empty, so when you came to pick up your stuff I found myself telling you to stay…I didn't know why I did that but I could live with my decisions" she inhaled deeply "After that, the emptiness kept growing inside me…I didn't care that Dave was whoring around, I didn't give a shit for the un healthy relationship you had, I didn't even care that I saw your eyes break every time you looked at me…I just wanted to cry, and cry hating that blankness in my heart…I know you heard me a lot of those times"

"I did" I raised my gaze, she bit her lip surprised about me commenting something. I remembered all those times I had run away from home hating that depressing place "I thought you cried because of Dave"

"N-no" she sounded her throat "I didn't have any feelings for him left…I don't know if I ever had any to start with…that day, when I sent Maria to you it was because I had a bad feeling, I don't know what it was, but I needed to know that you weren't alone…I didn't even knew you had a boyfriend at that time…when I came home and found out that you were gone, I got mad at you for giving up on me, for being selfish and not care about how sad I was…that´s when I told Maria to give you an ultimatum, I didn't want you in my life anymore…I couldn't even stay home to wait for you to pick up your stuff" I tightened my jaw remembering that day, I still had some sort of hope left, a childish desire to hear my mom telling me I could stay, but she didn't show ripping away any expectations "When I got home Maria was there, she told me that she quitted before she slapped me in the face and started yelling at me, telling me how selfish _I_ was being, asking me if_ I_ had a heart, questioning how could_ I_ do that sort of thing to my own son and to finish it all Dave got home drunk and he…" I fisted my hands knowing what she was about to say "He hit me…there is one thing I can´t tolerate and that´s physical violence…I asked for the divorce that same night"

"How did the sharing of the _goods_ go?" I asked in sarcastically, she half smiled.

"The same dry sense of humor as always…it wasn't a surprise for me, I knew your dad had left you everything; Dave was ready to keep everything to him but seeing this he didn't snatched so much from us, at the end he had so many debts that all we could divide were the cars and some money in the bank…at least he was cooperative enough, thanks to that we were divorced in a matter of weeks" she looked at me in the eye "When Maria said all that to me I finally noticed that something was wrong with me…I started going to a psychologist and she told me that I had post shock depression, that I needed to be medicated and have a regular treatment…" I saw her eyes water before she closed them taking shaky breathes "That was the cause of my hate to you, it was the first symptom…I would never forgive myself for all the things I did and said to you…and I know that you are just as stubborn as me, which means that you won´t forgive me either, I just wanted to explained everything to you and tell you that I do love you son, more than my own life" she locked her eyes in mine leaving the tears run free through her cheeks "You´re my baby, the reason I work, laugh and _live_ every day…the emptiness I felt was the lack of acknowledging you, you are all that matters in my life a-and I know I disappointed you and your father, b-but I couldn't control myself" she covered her mouth with her hand muffing a sob "Now you know, thank you son for hearing me after all that…t-the house it´s empty, you can do whatever you want with it, it´s yours…bye Kendall" she reached for me with her hand, then she appeared to reconsider her actions and draw it back. She stood up and walked away when she confirmed that I wasn't going to say anything to her.

I remained in that same position for what it felt like hours not knowing what to think, I had never heard about post stress depression, but in health class the teacher had talked about post partum depression, in which the woman hated her baby for every stupid reason they could think of…maybe my mother had something like that. James trusted her, and for me that was a good sign, I didn't know if I could forgive her just yet, but James as right, I needed her around me and knowing that she had seen the hockey game made my lips curl up. Thinking about this I got up and ran to the door seeing my mom cry against the car, she was right I was stubborn and I couldn't bring myself to comfort her, all I could do was talk.

"Stay at the house, it´s our family´s home, dad wouldn't want you to live anywhere else" she started whipping her tears giving me a sad smile.

"Thanks Kendall" she said and got in her car before getting away from the shop. Perhaps in the future we could take back some parts of our relationship.

James PoV

I smiled hearing Kendall´s words, I was glad that he had heard me and now there was a small hope of reconciling with his mother. My smile turned into a frown when I felt my phone buzzing, I got it out to look at the text feeling a rush of cold in my spine paralyzing me in fear the minute I read it.

**Does your pretty blond boyfriend stick his dick inside you like I used to? I miss you Jamie.**


	19. Chapter 18

Hum today was weird…good weird but weird at the end haha

So, this is the new chapter/epilogue/thingy…think of it as a chapter I don't even know what it is anymore LOL I just know that we´re at 103°F and I´m dying here! Too hot!

Enjoy!

Warning: James Angst!

CHAPTER 18

James PoV

We were at the airport waiting for Logan to show up and I all wanted to do was puke my guts out and run the hell away from that place. There had been nine days sense that first text and after that I had received around a dozen more, every single one of them more terrifying than the other. First he started to tell me what he used to do to me, the way he´d enjoyed seeing my scared eyes every time he got close to me, the way I screamed and cried when he shoved his dick in me… I could live with that…barely…the worse had started two days ago when he began to tell me what he _wanted_ to do to me next time he _saw_ me... it was safe to say that I was fucking panicking but I couldn't tell anyone about the texts, if I told Kendall or Logan they would run to my parents right away and I didn't want that. So, that was why I wanted to get away from that place, I was starting to gain enough weird looks from my boyfriend to add the ones my best friend was surely going to give me. I couldn't have everyone worrying about me, I had overcome this, I had to be strong and put up with my shit by myself, just hoped Kendall didn't notice all the fear inside me. Fortunately that wasn't the reason of me wanting to throw up, that was thanks to a family dinner at the Garcia´s house…yeah Mexican food, not my thing.

"I wonder if he got taller" I smiled hearing Carlos´ words.

"Nah, he´s a midget just like you" I ruffled the latino´s hair making Kendall laugh.

"Shut up" Carlos whined just when the display above out heads reported Logan´s flight as _LANDED_. I took a deep breath noticing Kendall´s eyes glued to me.

"Tonight we´re taking" he said to my ear when Carlos ran searching for Logan.

"Something like phone sex?" I joked trying to hide the fact that I was scared of that conversation, I could lie to my parents, I could even lie to Logan but in matters like this I could not lie to Kendall.

"I´m not taking shit James, I know something´s wrong with you…" his eyes glowed making them a lot greener.

"I´m fine…"

"The fuck you are James!" he growled before looking around where some people started to stare at us "You are not all right" he said lowering his voice "And we are talking" his eyes grew softer as he took my hand and cupped my chin resting his forehead in mine "I do notice James" I lowered my gaze thinking that sometimes he could read my mind.

"Okay" I whispered and he pecked my lips before making me walk to meet Carlos at the waiting area.

When I saw my best friend walking among the crowd a big smile spread through my lips, no one can say that something is missed until it´s seen again. I had missed my best friend so much.

"Logie!" screamed Carlos raising his arms to gain the other´s attention, Logan smiled and walked to meet us.

"Hey!" he hugged Carlos "It´s been a long time!"

"I know!" Logan untangled himself from the latino before shaking Kendall´s hand and embracing him in a _man hug_. I rolled my eyes smiling.

"Oh no a man hug, someone might think one of you is gay" I mocked earning a punch in the shoulder from my boyfriend.

"Yeah I have to keep my secret" laughed Logan sarcastically as he embraced me tightly "I missed you man"

"You too doc…lets go I´m hungry" Lie, I hadn't eaten properly in days.

We walked to Kendall´s car hearing Logan chatter about college, he seemed awfully in love with school, it wasn't that we didn't know that he was a nerdy guy but I had never seen him like that.

"I think Logan wants to marry his school" I said gaining a laugh from the guys when we got inside and Kendall started to drive "Too bad, I think Camille will be disappointed" I winked at him smiling when he made a shocked expression.

"W-why would C-Camille do something l-like t-that?…I mean pff, we haven't seen each o-other in ages…she doesn't even remember me surely…what are you guys grinning about?" he demanded seeing out faces, he was painfully obvious.

"She will meet us at the pizzeria" pointed Kendall looking at Logan through the driving mirror getting out a chuckle when his face grew completely red "Look James someone blushes even more than you" he mocked.

"Fuck you Kendall" I laughed and the minute Carlos and Logan were immersed talking at each other Kendall mouthed _I know you want to_ and then he winked at me. I had to look away to hide my red face…fuck yeah I wanted to.

We got to the restaurant seeing that Camille was nowhere to be seen, I could almost picture the disappointment in my friend´s gaze. We took out sits and ordered talking about our lifes lately.

"Have you thought about which college do you want to get in?" asked Logan taking a slice of pizza.

"I´ll go to community college, my _papi_ can´t afford a big one and I don't have good grades to get a scholarship like the hockey star here" said Carlos with half full mouth.

"How much percentage?" talked Logan.

"Full scholarship" answered Kendall with a smug grin in his face "Being the schools golden player gives some benefits" he kissed me in the cheek slowly, I shivered and smiled at him "And besides I heard that certain brunettes love hockey players"

"Ugh gay fluff" whined Logan and Carlos in unison.

"Deal with it" to give some emphasis to my words I grabbed Kendall´s shirt and pulled him to a kiss, it was chaste for the kind of kisses we normally had but it was enough to gain some other whines from our friends.

"And you James?" I frowned not knowing what Logan was asking.

"Me what?"

"Kendall stop looking at him, you distract him" said Logan rolling his eyes when Kendall smiled and started kissing my hand taking my whole attention. Seeing his lips against my skin was dazzling.

"I am not distracting him" spoke Kendall "Am I distracting you James?" he purred.

"W-what did you asked Logan?" I used all my will power to tear my eyes away from the blond taking my hand. Carlos was laughing at me and Logan was shaking his head smiling at my expression…I _probably_ had a stupid grin on my face.

"What are you going to do after you graduate? I don't think that you have the same dream of becoming bigger than Adam Lamber, do you?" I grimaced when I heard his words, I had almost successfully keep that information from my boyfriend until that moment. Kendall hated pop music and me wanting to be like the gayest dude I had known probably wouldn't be of his liking.

"You what?" he eyes me with fake shock "OMG James! That would SO totally be the most awesomest thing EVER" Carlos was laughing like crazy at Kendall´s impersonation of a crazy fangirl and Logan gave me an apologetic smile.

"Laugh all you want, it was becoming truth until I got into jail" I gave a bite to my pizza "But no, I think I´ll go to community college too…I don't have much hopes of any other school wanting me with criminal records on my tail" I felt Kendall´s hand caressing my back, I looked at him and he smiled making me feel better.

"Do you guys keep contact with the girls?" I gave Logan a knowing look after I heard his question, he was fishing for Camille related info.

"Just Jo" answered Carlos sipping his drink "I haven't talk to Camille in more than a year"

"Same here, except that I have talked to her recently" talked Kendall finishing his slice "But you must know that she and James are friends" he raised his eyebrow at my nerdy friend.

"Yeah I knew…she didn't let anyone know why she didn't come?"

"I think it was because of me" Kendall passed his hand through his neck grimacing "We kind of had a big fight some years ago and she stills a little uncomfortable around me…and Jo, well she´s busier with her girl friends"

"Too bad, guys one question, where am I going to sleep?" we laughed at his question, being Sunday I had to return home and be miserable for spending the night without my boyfriend, so perhaps Logan could stay either with me or at Kendall´s house.

"My house or Kendall´s _apartment_ are available" I let him know.

"There´s also my place" offered Carlos

"Well I´m staying a whole week, how about I stay at Kendall´s today, then Carlos and finally with you James" I nodded in agreement my family loved Logan and having him stay a couple of days would be great.

"Hi guys" we turned to see Camille standing there with a sheepish smile on her lips, I turned my gaze towards my best friend, he was _pale_ and looked like he wanted to scream and run away from that place "Hello Logan" ok if Logan didn't explode in the next minutes I wouldn't be surprised if his brain started melting and escaping from his hears.

"H-hi Camille" talked my short friend getting up and putting a chair for Camille…just by his side, _smooth_ Logie.

"I need a girlfriend!" whine Carlos when Camille and Logan started to talk to each other…or in better words Camille started to crush my friend with questions and Logan blurted some explanations, they were cute.

"Don't worry pal, I´ll help you get a nice lady for you" laughed Kendall palming his friend in the shoulder.

"So Kendall and James…did you know that you have a couple´s name?" I raised my eyebrow at Camille´s unexpected question.

"Weren't you suppose to be famous to get couple names?" I asked leaning my chin on Kendall feeling a little sicker, maybe those burritos at Carlos´ house last night were starting to charge my body.

"But you are, I mean Kendall´s well… Kendall, and you´re the guy that punched him…and then you two fell in love, it´s like the most romantic thing that has happened in this school in ages…big topic for the girls at school" I groaned hiding my red face on my boyfriend´s shoulder when I heard her words. I liked my life private thank you very much, and knowing that crazy chicks were sighing in our honor kind of creep me out. Kendall smiled at me, fuck him and how much he enjoyed seeing me like this.

"And what´s the name?" question Logan

"Kames" she smiled, Kendall, Carlos, Logan and I grimaced I didn't love it "Do you guys have pet names?"

"Yeah" we frowned looking at Carlos "Kenny pooh and Jamesy bear" he started making kissing faces, Kendall made a pained expression and I rolled my eyes.

"Please tell me that isn't truth" spoke Logan looking at me wide eyed.

"No way in hell, no pet names just our names" I shocked my head.

"Yeah like it isn't enough gayness in the fact that he wanted to be a pop star" commented Kendall "It would be too much to start with girly cheesy names"

"Shut up Knight" I told him he smiled and kissed me gaining an _aww_ from our friends.

"Which brings me to the other question, who rides?" Carlos spit his soda all over the place probably not expecting that kind of question from Camille.

"Ah my poor ears!" he screamed "Stained with gay language for life!"

"Like you haven't asked yourself that same question" spoke Kendall making the latino shut his mouth stunned, Logan grinned before nodding…ok all of them were interested… Ugh I wanted to puke so badly.

"Who do you think?" I said trying to look _not sick_.

"That´s the problem, we don't know" she laughed "I mean yeah we all know Kendall, strong headed and with anger management issues…then there´s James, who´s bigger than Kendall and also _manly_ and you know…not like a bottom kind of guy…do you guys switch or what?" I totally didn't want to answer that question.

"I did ride you, even if at the time you were inside of me" whispered Kendall at my ear making me smile "So, what do we tell them?" he raised his voice.

"That I fuck your horny tight ass every day and that you enjoy every minute of it" now it was my turn to make my boyfriend blush and our friends to look at me surprised and fuck I was turned on by my own words.

"Wow that was graphic" murmured Logan awkwardly.

"Part of me wants to facebook it but other part of me…okay James no more questions" said Camille shaking her brown locks "Got the idea" Aha, I hadn't said that to keep her away from our relationship but I could live with her not nosing any more.

"I think you broke Carlos" snorted Kendall getting out of his shock; we all looked at the dude to find him with a disgusted grin in his face.

"Gross" he shuddered making us laugh.

I was starting to forget about my sickness when I felt my phone vibrating in my new white pants, I might say that Kendall actually drooled when he saw me in those. Managing to put on a good face I told them I had to go pee. I was glad that the restroom was just for one person, I got in, locked the door and opened the text.

**I always knew you´ll look delicious in white pants, enjoy your pizza.**

Fuck, fuck, fuck. It couldn't be truth. He was away from me! He couldn't be around that same place! I started to tremble getting more nauseous. I slid to the floor and hugged my knees attempting to compose myself taking deep breathes trying not to vomit or cry like a scared little kid. I closed my eyes and flinched when the memories started attacking me…

"_I said strip" I felt the cold of his gun against my neck. I started shaking in fear of those harsh blue eyes "Now" he lowered his gun using it to touch my chest._

"_P-please d-don´t" I cried dragging myself away from him…_

"James, James don't go there" I whispered gasping my head and clenching my eyes.

"_I will say this, one last time" he loaded his gun and aimed again "Strip" he barked. I closed my eyes letting tears fall from them as I started to take away my shirt pressing my jaw when his hand started to touch me "Pants off" I tried to take them away with shaky hands but he got eager and pulled them off leaving me completely naked "Lets play Jamie" he said as he started unbuttoning his pants…_I had to jump up emptying my stomach in the toilet seeing tears slip from my face to the floor, I wiped them furiously hating myself for being so weak.

"James?" I sighed when I heard Kendall´s voice outside the door "You okay?" At least now I had an excuse to look miserable, I walked and opened the door before flushing the toilet and starting to clean my mouth in the sink.

"I think I´m no good for Mexican food" I avoided his gaze hiding my phone in my pants before I shoved some water in my face.

"You puked?" he stood beside me massaging my back, I groaned affirmatively looking at myself in the mirror, I had black circles under my eyes, I was a little pale and my eyes were dilated probably cause of the fear.

"I really don't feel good" I leaned against him "Can we go home? You and the guys can watch a movie or something I just want to sleep" that was partly true, I was so fucking tired but I knew that if I closed my eyes the memories would haunt me.

"Okay" he kissed my temple taking my hand and walking me outside, I forced myself to not search for some icy blue eyes, I had to act normal, he couldn't know how scared I was.

The rest of the day passed as a blur, we went to Kendall´s apartment and I just laid on our bed not even having the guts to close my eyes. I felt terrible, I had puked a couple of more times and Logan had made me eat some crackets before forcing me to swallow some pills… I could manage myself in sickness, but it was fear that kept me there laying on my side gasping the covers looking at my phone like it was a rabid dog.

"I called your parents" I heard Kendall say before he slipped in bed and hugged me from my back "Do you want to stay or go to your parent´s house?" I wanted to stay there so badly but I knew that I wouldn't hold it together if I got another text, which I was sure I was. Perhaps I could fool my parents but not him.

"I think I´m better there…my mom´s a nurse after all" I turned and snuggled against him sighing.

"Ok, I´ll take you home before leaving Carlos at his house" he touched my jaw sending chills through my body "I´m worried about you James, I´m seeing things in your eyes that I hadn't seen sense that day at the mall"

"I´m fine Kendall, I´m just sick and tired" I whispered hating myself for lying to him. He started to move the hair away from my face, I relaxed loving the feeling of his hand against my head.

"Hurts so much when you close yourself to me" he moved to look at me in the eye "But for this time I will go along, just at least think about telling me the truth, please James I feel so bad for not being able to do anything for you"

"You are, just by being here with me you´re doing a lot" he kissed me slowly transmitting all his feelings through his lips, then he broke the kiss before getting up and dragging me with him. I grimaced sensing the earth spin under my feet, Kendall was at my side holding me in no time.

"Take deep breaths, I can´t get you inside the car like this…perhaps it´s better if you stay here" he said starting a rolling motion with his thumbs on my hips.

"No, lets go" I moved away from him and started walking outside the room.

"James…" I heard him behind me. Why couldn't he stop caring? I closed my eyes feeling my phone buzzing again sending my heart rate to the maximum "Come on, stay"

"No Kendall! I don't fucking want to stay here!" I yelled looking at him in the eye, he made a pained expression before nodding and taking his car keys.

"I´m taking James home" I walked to the stairs avoiding Carlos and Logan´s looks, even with that same expression, my boyfriend helped me climb down and get inside the car. I wanted to apologize, to tell him the truth but I could not bring myself to do it, I couldn´t worry him that much. The phone buzzed again reminding me that I had an unread text, what was he going to tell me now? How much he loved seeing me sick? How he was eager to get his cock in my mouth?

"Stop, stop" I said passing my hand trough my eyes, I didn't need to make myself more miserable.

"Want me to pull over?" asked Kendall looking at me concerned.

"No I´m ok now" I kept my gaze in the window feeling my eyes suddenly too heavy.

_I watched him in horror as he began to touch my thighs and chest "Delicious" he said before he grabbed my hair and punched my face to the floor turning my body, I started to shake even more realizing what was coming "P-please don´t" I screamed when he got inside me in one single trust ignoring my pleas, he started pounding in me as his nails dig inside my skin. It hurt like nothing I had ever experienced. I could barely bring air to my lungs for crying so much. I shuddered disgusted when his tongue licked my shoulder blades and his teeth bit my neck. I wanted to run, to get away from him to be free but there was no way I could do it, I didn't want to die…_

"James, James!" I opened my eyes startled.

"No! NO!" I shouted getting away from that pair of hands not looking at the person in front of me, I tried to move but something stopped me from doing it, tears were running freely through my face as I tried to escape everything.

Kendall PoV

"James! Love calm down, it´s me Kendall! Look at me please!" I begged him cupping his face with my hands making him look at my eyes "It´s me" his frighten eyes started to focus "It´s ok" he sobbed before launching himself to me hugging me like his life depended on it. He was shaking and crying against my neck. I embraced him trying not to cry myself, what was happening to him? I thought that James was over _that_ time, that he had forgotten about his personal hell, but the way he started screaming in dreams some minutes ago did little to convince me that he was fine.

"P-please d-don´t let him get m-me" he whimpered against my shirt "M-make him stop" I was speechless; I had never seen him so terrified before.

"It´s ok James, I won´t let anything happen to you" I kissed his head waiting for him to calm down.

First I had been hurt for his words back at the apartment, then seeing him sleep out of exhaustion in the passenger seat had drained my anger away, I started to drive around the city letting him get the much needed sleep, I had decided to pull over some park when he began to mumble in his sleep, I had thought it was cute given all the crap he gave me for being a crazy sleeper, until I saw tears emerging from his lashes and then he started screaming out of nowhere and I knew I had to wake him up.

"I´m sorry" he whispered, I felt a couple butterfly kisses on my neck "I want to stay home with you, but I didn't want you to see me like this"

"Why not? You saw me that day when I picked up my stuff from my mother´s house" he raised his head wiping his tears, in some twisted way I could see that his face was a little more relaxed after that explosion.

"Hurt it´s not the same as fear" he said almost inaudible his eyes lacking of any kind of light, he shut them letting some more tears fall when I heard the distant sound of his phone vibrating. He took a deep breath before getting the phone from his pants and stared blankly at the screen "Have you ever hated someone with all you being?" he asked me looking in my eyes.

"Not really" he lowered his gaze biting his lower lip.

"Let´s go home, I´ll text my parents" he spoke sitting straight and turning up the music, our unexplained signal to stop talking. I sighed starting the engine going back to the shop, for today Logan might had to sleep with Carlos, I had a heck lot to talk about with my boyfriend.

We got home and I saw his anxious look when we heard Carlos and Logan´s chatter, he didn't want them to see him broken up like this.

"I didn't even say good bye" he said in a small voice "Logan will be all over me in a second"

"Probably, but I will calm him and convince him to stay at Carlos´ house" I rested my hand on his lower back as we climbed the stairs.

"Hey…" Carlos trailed off as he saw James next to me, it was quite evident that he had been crying, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy "Logan, how about you stay at my place tonight?" Thank you, thank you mature Carlos!

"James?" asked the other brunette as he walked to my boyfriend, James didn't even looked at him, he kept his gaze fixed on his shoes trembling a little "I-I´ll see you tomorrow" Logan tried to smile but we all saw hour much it hurt him to watch his best friend like this "Carlos, time to go" he offered me his hand and I shook it.

"See´ya dude" said Carlos waving at both of us.

"Bye" whispered James when they reached the stairs, they grinned somehow relieved of seeing some sort of reaction from James before leaving.

James walked past me and got himself in the bathroom, I grimaced hearing him throw up again. I really hoped his sickness was because of the burritos we had last night. I walked inside the room and changed in my Pj´s and sat on the bed waiting for him to open the door, when he did it he had his tooth brush in his mouth and no t-shit on.

"It´s sad to say that seeing you doing something so mundane comforts me" I whispered leaving a peck on his shoulder before grabbing mine and started to clean my teeth.

"What if he comes back?" he said after spitting the tooth paste out of his mouth resting his hands on the sink "W-what if he comes looking for me?"

"Then I…" I shut my mouth seeing his shaking head.

"You won´t be with me 24/7, that´s not living for any of us" his eyes darkened "I-I can´t fight him"

"Move" I said prior cleaning my mouth, taking his hand and directing him to out bed, we laid and he rested his head on my neck "James look at me" he breathed before moving farther behind and raised his stare at me and I felt a prick in my heart seeing the emotions his hazel eyes held "You can James, you are strong and you know that"

"Not with him" he said automatically like he had already made up his mind.

"Yes, James, two years ago maybe he was stronger than you, you were sixteen and you were a scared kid in that place, but that won´t happen now" he looked awfully unconvinced "Think about this, now would you rather fight him until you can no longer move or submit and endure that hell again"

"He could kill me" I closed my eyes praying for strength, yeah he could and knowing that that creep was in the same city made scared me too, but James needed me whole and confident at the moment and I was going give him all I could.

"I know" I rested my forehead on his our eyes closed, we stood like that for who knows how long, his breaths started to get deeper each time, I thought that he had finally fell asleep when he kissed me lightly.

"I will" I looked at him frowning, he took a shaky breath "I will fight him even if he kills me"


	20. Chapter 19

Ugh i feel so bad…and I hated that last chapter…I dunno why I just do, maybe it´s my inner fucking perfectionist daemon or the fact that I didn't _feel_ it like I usually do, who knows! Haha I´m just glad that you guys awesome reviewers liked it… oh well here´s the next chapter!

P.S. I wrote this chapter hearing Hymn of the Missing and Not alone by RED, I really recommend them to you! Fav band and beautiful lyrics xD

Enjoy! Even if this chapter is ubber short!

DIFFERENT

James PoV

I blinked feeling like a train had run over my body, I was tired and aching everywhere but at the same time I felt calm and relaxed for the first time in days. It was near dawn and Kendall was snoring lightly next to me, he had a small wrinkle between his eyes signaling his now ever present frown, it pained me to see him worried like this. I sighed turning to the side searching better look at my boyfriend, he had disposed of his shirt like every night; I smiled lovingly, he did it in his sleep probably not even realizing it. I pulled the covers down looking at his abs rise in every breath. He was the most beautiful being I had ever seen, how could someone like that love a broken mess like me was beyond my understanding however, I wasn't complaining, I had taken every hit life had thrown at me, was it wrong to seize the little things that made it bearable? I didn't think so. I lifted my hand and started tracing the lines of his stomach, chest and neck with my fingers. Seeing his trust in me gave me strength and confidence, perhaps I really could rise above my fear and confront that son of a bitch. Grinning I raised to seat astride his hips and continued the path my fingers built with my tongue leaving occasional kisses on his sweet spots knowing that there was one way I could show him how much I loved him.

"James…" he sighed in dreams. I lowered my hand to his thighs forming patterns with my fingers, Kendall began bucking his lower area moaning lightly. I ignored him and continued biting and sucking his neck licking the abused area as my hands found his nipples and I pinched and nibble them smiling at the sounds he was making…still fucking asleep. Now this was personal. I looked down at the tent forming in his pants, I had never voluntary given a blowjob, but fuck I wanted to taste my boyfriend in the most intimate way so badly. Swallowing I started crawling back until I was between his legs, Kendall whimpered mumbling under his breath probably by the loss of heat. My fingers found their way to the hem of his pajama pants and I began taking them away biting my lip before I slowly ducked my head and kissed his member through his boxers "J-James?" I lifted my gaze meeting his dark green and half awake eyes, he was frowning, although this time it wasn't a concerned look, but a look someone whore when he could not believe his eyes. I grinned letting my tongue out and licking him "Shit!" he hissed letting his head fall back. I rested my hand on his hips keeping him from moving them when I began sucking and biting him "James!" thinking that I was done tasting his boxers I pulled them down fisting his length and locking my eyes in his as I passed the tip of my tongue through the head of his penis, his breaths hitched but he didn't make a move fixing his eyes on my lips. I continued caressing his cock with my tongue leaving small bites in the hot flesh "Oh God…" he panted when I began putting him in my mouth sucking him slowly. I closed my eyes engraving that moment in my mind, I was pleasuring the most important person in my life and he was whispering my name in ecstasy. I felt the prick of tears thinking of how _right_ this felt, I didn't feel like a _cock sucking whore_ for giving my lover a blowjob, I was enjoying it almost as much as he and that was a first for me "James" I hadn't noticed I had stopped moving, now he was sitting and was passing his hand through my hair, I hollowed my cheeks one more time before letting him out of my mouth, he gasped as my lips found his guiding me to lay back with him. I lowered my hands and placed two fingers inside him, he didn't even flinched continuing assaulting my lips. I moved my fingers almost loosing myself in his kiss; I sensed our hearts beating like crazy against our chests, his hands on my neck and spine sending chills through my entire body. I added a third finger in, he moaned when I began touching his prostrate, he was ready. I got my hand out and positioned before getting inside him moaning, I rocked in a low phase not having any kind of hurry. I gasped when he lowered his head sucking my neck "I love you" he whispered in my ear, his voice husky and filled with emotions. I cupped his face and kissed him letting our tongues battle with no real desire to win just yet.

"I love you Kendall" I rested my forehead on his starting to pick up the phase my eyes not leaving his, I took his hands and raised them above his head grasping them with my left hand using my right one to balance myself aiming for his pleasure spot in every thrust. His moans got louder indicating that he was close, I let go of his hands going for his forgotten member, his eyes rolled backwards prior reaching his orgasm when I started pumping him, I continued rocking inside him for mere seconds until I reached my release groaning against his neck. We stayed like that, breathing deeply waiting for our heart rate to slow down and our minds to start working properly again. I felt his kiss on my shoulder before he spoke "Where did that came from?"

"I can´t make love to my boyfriend without a reason?" I tried to get up and out of him but he stopped me hugging me strongly.

"Not like this" I sighed when his fingers started to caress my spine in a shooting way, he was right, for some reason this had felt different from any other times.

"I wanted to show you how much you mean to me, how important you are, and given that I´m an idiot for any kind of deep talk I thought that this was a nice way to do it"

"_Nice_ doesn´t cut it" he chuckled making me smile, I raised my head frowning when his smile widen "You baby" he mocked cleaning the tears I didn't know I cried.

"Only for you love" I pecked him not the slight ashamed of it "It´s good to cry for _good_ things every once in a while" I shrugged "Now will you please let me out of you? You will be sore later" I gave him an Eskimo kiss. He nodded untangling himself wincing when I did it and surprising me he pushed me to my back and rested his head on my chest hugging my waist.

"How are you feeling?" he asked looking at the alarm clock, we had about twenty minutes before time to get up and ready for school.

"Not sick, maybe I got rid of the bug" I closed my eyes letting my hand play with his hair "And about that other _issue_, scared and somehow I know that I won´t ever stop being it, but I feel good, confident and…calm" I bit my lip remembering that last text "Do you want to know what triggered all _that_?"

"You know I do"

"Same day today, two years ago was the first time _he_ r-raped me" I kept my stare at the ceiling not as troubled about the date as I had been before going to bed, Kendall moved to get his upper half above me, his hands started touching my jaw, my cheekbones, my nose and eyebrows, by the time he reached my forehead I had my eyes closed loving the way he made everything feel _right_ just by touching me.

"That´s in the past, this is now, us and our future" his lips lazily kissed mine "I love every part of you James, from your cute puppy eyes to the way you breathe every time you´re inside me, your sense of humor…as twisted as sometimes it can be…forget about those days and just think about the fun things in life, like talking comics with Carlos" I laughed not opening my eyes "Like having your best friend at hands reach for the first time in months, like having a two day detention with your sexy boyfriend for making out in the janitors closet" Oh yeah that had been nice, until good old Mr. Smith had caught us.

"I thought you had hockey practice today" I opened my eyes smiling at his grimace.

"I think I can skip, it´s detention after all" he bit my jaw getting a small moan from me "The championship is over anyways, it´s not like I could lose a game for skipping once"

"Yeah but the coach will give you hell the next time you go" he growled knowing my words were truth, no one liked to make Coach Marshall mad "Come on lets shower" I said looking at the clock.

"Yeah you reek" he teased getting up, he was probably right. We showered just exchanging a couple of kisses, mostly we cleaned ourselves in silence, enjoying the moment. Kendall had been right last night, somehow mundane moments like these comforted us.

"You sure you want to go to school?" he asked while I ate some yogurt feeling my stomach still a little upset.

"Logan will be visiting his grandparents today and I don't want to miss school, I promise you if I start to feel bad I´ll go home"

"Okay" he was about to kiss me when we heard the someone knocking on the front door "That´s probably Carlos and Logan, want me to take Carlos somewhere so you can talk to Logan?" he crooked his eyebrow, I hadn't had the guts to tell the latino about my past.

"Please, I feel so bad for being like that last night, I need to apologize" I watched him walked to open the door laying my head on my hand looking into space not really knowing how Logan would react, it was weird to not know what your best friend would do but those two years had served to open a small gap in our friendship "Hey guys" I gave them a small smile.

"Hi James, how are you feeling?" question Carlos palming my back a little too strongly.

"A lot better thanks"

"You do look better" I turned to my best friend who was looking at me with a weird expression.

"Carlos can you come and…just let these two alone" said Kendall grabbing him by the arm and dragging him to the woodshop.

"Smooth Kendall" I said laughing.

"Shut up James!" I heard him say.

"Are bipolar or something?" inquired Logan keeping that same stare "You were a mess last night and now you´re all upsy daysy, I´m lost"

"I still am a mess Logan" I scratched my head maintaining my eyes in my feet "I´m sorry about yesterday, you know what day it is and it got to me" I sighed lifting my eyes "And I´m better now thanks to Kendall…you have probably figured that out by now"

"You´re going to school, I don't think that's a good idea, that's why I came to see if you wanted some company" he sat on the bench facing me.

"I don't want to skip school, I´m better, no more urge to throw up even if my stomach feels a little upset but not a big deal" I smiled "Wipe that worried expression of your face Logan, you have seen me in much worse state"

"No I haven't James" I frowned looking at his chocolate eyes "You were shattered in a whole different way, it´s hard to explain but know that was why I couldn't say anything yesterday…and I´m sure that wasn't just because the date" Fuck, time beat power, Logan had known me the longest ergo he could interpret my reactions better than Kendall.

"For this one time, just leave it Logan, I feel _good_ and I don't want to run that path again" I messed my hair stopping when I noticed a small smile forming in my friends lips "What?"

"It´s just so weird seeing you mess your hair like it´s no big deal, you wear your usual clothes and all but you look different, like a mix between your old and new self" I raised my shoulders knowing that his words were truth "When was the last time you sang something?"

"The school´s talent show" I got up to leave my plate in the washer.

"Have you considered singing again?"

"I don't know, for a while it felt like something of the past, not fitting in my life but now…I don't know maybe later" I sure wanted to sing something to my boyfriend someday soon, I was sure he would love my voice.

"Later what?" asked Kendall walking inside "Sorry but we have to go" we nodded following him to the door.

The ride school was quiet, we heard the music holding our hands just enjoying out last moments alone before classes. When Kendall parked he gave me a sweet kiss before getting out the car.

"No way that´s true!" we frowned at Jo´s sudden words, normally she spoke to Kendall and ignored me, I had no idea why she did it but I didn't like her very much either.

"What is not truth?" said Kendall locking his finger in my belt preventing me from leaving his side.

"That you bottom" I snorted hearing her words, she made a disguised face looking at me before raising a brow to Kendall, he had a priceless expression, he was flushed, he looked offended and humored at the same time.

"Why do you ask?" I spoke putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Camille told Jenny Tinkler and she told me, you didn't even do that for Jett, you said that after George you wouldn't do it…ever" gossip traveled too fast in this school…and who the heck was George?

"One can change the way he thinks and yeah it´s truth" I tried to move but he pulled his finger keeping me in place, I rolled my eyes we were going late and like always it was his fault "Logan´s in town"

"Ah sure whatev…oh and James" she moved to look at me "Last week I saw your ex"

"His ex?" talked Kendall taken back.

"Yeah, he was at Jett´s party, he´s a hot guy James" she nodded smiling "He said that he wanted to keep in touch with you and Jett gave him your number"

"How did Jett got my number?"

"He got it from my phone" she shrugged like it wasn't a big deal "Steve was his name, you should have seen him James, he talked about you so lovingly and cute, he told me that you…"

"Sorry Jo, next time just shut the fuck up and don't hear Jett´s friends chatter about how much they love my boyfriend, now if you excuse us" said Kendall taking my hand directing us to a empty classroom "Give me your phone"


	21. Chapter 20 part 1

Wow I loved BTProm King sooooo much! Kendall Vs James! Best thing ever! Haha I laughed so much in this ep!

Ok I won´t say much about this, I had an awesome day and my head hurts xD so I leave you….

RUN – Chapter 20 Part 1

Kendall PoV

James gave me a _totally fake_ weird look before retrieving his phone from his pants and lending it to me. Fuck I should had known, he wasn't stupid and if he wanted to keep something secret he would play his cards just in the right way to maintain like that. Still I had a little hope that he could have missed something so I started looking at his inbox founding nothing at all.

"James" I raised my eyes looking directly at his own "Tell me the truth, has he tried to contact you?" he shaked his head keeping his lips sealed "I won´t buy that until I hear it from your mouth looking me in the eye"

"No he hasn´t" If it wasn't because I had memorized every bit of his face I wouldn't have noticed his almost imperceptible wince when he said that. I felt my insides crumble, that explained a lot. "We should get to class" he pointed the clock, if we moved fast we could get there in time. I nodded and we walked to Mr. Smith´s classroom getting in our seats just before the teacher showed up. The class was a painful nightmare, I wanted to corner James and get the truth out of him instead of being there, he wasn't even putting attention, normally he was the one kid in love with the class, raising his hand to comment in certain books or the only one that actually got the quotes or jokes the teacher said, I love to see him all excited about the subject, that was why I hated this day even more, he had even folded his arms and rested his head there not looking at me or anything in particular. Ten minutes before the class ended the teacher announced that it was time to give us our graded tests, I groaned along everyone in the class except James, he had probably aced it just like every other literature and history related test.

"Kendall Knight" I got up when the teacher said my name I grabbed my test and went back.

"B+, not so bad" I smiled at James, he laughed a little not rising his head from his folded arms, maybe the exhaustion of the weekend was finally charging him. I frowned when the teacher skipped James´ name from the list, my boyfriend bit his lip and looked anxious.

"Ok class see you tomorrow…James can you wait a little? We need to talk" said Mr. Smith folding some papers, being the awesome boyfriend I was I waited with James till everyone got out and the teacher looked at us with a small smile on his lips "I said James"

"We´re a walking offer, you ask for one and you get the pair" I smiled knowing that the teacher wouldn't be mad about my joke "Besides we both have a free period right now"

"Anyway" he continued rolling his eyes "James you completely failed this test, that was an unpleasant surprise" he handed the sheet to James who didn't look surprised and didn't even bother to look at it, like he already knew he had failed it "Are you feeling ok?"

"Not really" murmured James looking down, I knew he should have stayed home.

"He had been sick the whole week" I lied "Yesterday he couldn't even move without puking, but he insisted on coming anyways" James glared at me not happy about my words.

"Yeah I´d noticed" Mr. Smith sat on the edge of his desk, it was a good thing that we were in the front row –us the nerds- so we didn't have to stand up to talk to the teacher "I think I should send you home, there´s no point in being here if you don't feel fine"

"I have detention, I can´t skip or Ms. Gibbs will give me an extra week" the teacher grimaced knowing how coldhearted and unforgiving that woman was.

"Fine, going back to the test, you have been sick before and you ended up getting an A-, I don't think _this_ is caused by sickness" yeah same here teach "Anything to say James?"

"Not in my defense" he straighten himself "I blanked and I didn't really study for it…I´m not surprised by failing it" he had to have the best poker face I had ever seen, even I had some trouble reading his emotions.

"I´m sorry to hear that" sighed the teacher "I hope _you_ don't have to do with it or his detention" he raised his eyebrow at me.

"Hey not fair" I whined loving James´ laugh, real for once "I accept the detention is partly my fault, but not the test, every time there´s one he kicks me out and studies his a-butt off" I was glad I could save that last swear and yeah James was convinced that no college would want him with his record, so he had to make his profile better acing every test he could.

"True" talked James grinning; that was much better.

"Why did you get detention?" asked Mr. Smith, ever sense the memorable _fight_ he had taken us under his wing, always keeping an eye on us and interested in our whereabouts. James just pointed at me with his thumb, thanks love, give all the credit even if that time you were all willing and eager to do_ it_ on the janitor´s closet.

"Got caught making out in the janitor´s closet" I answered not the slightness ashamed of my actions, James in the other hand groaned ducking his head on his arms again.

"I´m not going to tell you how _wrong_ that is" yeah like his emphasis in _wrong_ didn't cut it "I just hope that it doesn't happen again…and the test wasn't the only thing I wanted to talk to you about James, this came from CLA…" we stopped listening to him the moment the muffled sound of James phone got to our ears, my boyfriend stiffened fisting his hands.

"James…" I reached for him but he got up and walked away from the classroom without saying a word, the teacher called for him in a worried tone. I stood up and went after him, but the minute he noticed I was near him he started running, I ran hating him for being so fast "James! Come on! Wait!" I yelled when he got out the school doors getting into the football field. Taking a deep breath I gained speed before going for a tackle, I collided in his body, he stumbled without stooping which caused me to kiss the grass, he got rid of my hands before running off again, this time I couldn't catch him.

"Kendall!" I groaned hearing Mr. Smith behind me "What was that?" he kneeled at my side, I raised my gaze looking around, James was nowhere to be seen.

"Fuck James" I whispered thinking on how wrong this was. Now I was sure that creep had contacted him and that James was, like always, too busy making everyone not worried forgetting about his own well being. I sat passing my hand trough my face sighing, I couldn't do this on my own and James was right on keeping this away from his parents, I couldn't tell them that the son of a bitch that had raped their son was here, even I wouldn't want to worry them that much.

"Kendall talk. Now" demanded Mr. Smith, I felt the desperation of making James safe crawl inside me, clenching my insides. His terrified gaze creeping in my thoughts, the way he had begged me to keep that man away from him, how he just ran a couple of minutes ago out of fear…I couldn't face that on my own.

"Did you know that James spend the last two years in jail?" he nodded frowning "And did you know that inside there an officer…raped him?"

James PoV

Shit. I was screwed. Fucked up. I was a complete idiot. If Kendall wasn't sure about the _officer_ contacting me at the beginning, now I was certain that he was a 1000% sure. I wasn't supposed to panic like that, I was supposed to be strong and trust in my boyfriend, not run like a scared little puppy making a whole scene in front of a teacher.

I was now sitting on a park bench, strangely the same bench where I told everything to Kendall trying to gain my breath. I hadn't even seen the text yet, and I knew that I didn't want to. All I wanted to do was destroy the fucking phone and try to act like nothing ever happened.

"What could possibly scare you like that Jamie?" I froze hearing that voice "You were running like the devil was after you" my throat started to close making it hard to breathe. I turned my head to the side to have a first row view of the main character of every one of my nightmares.

"What are you doing here? Didn't I remind you of the restriction order already?" I said slowly getting up.

"You´re a hard guy to get alone Jamie…and you didn't answer any of my texts, I´m hurt" he stepped closer to me and I took a step back fisting my hands at his predatory grin.

"What do you want?" I was so glad my voice didn't tremble. I took one more step back before my back touched a wall.

"Well you Jamie, always you" he made a quick move with his hand, he had something back and big in it. A gun. "Want to come with me?" he pointed at me, I looked around for any signs of people, but it was freaking ten am on a Monday, no one was near a park.

"No" Be strong James, fight him.

"No?" he loaded it.

"No" Even if he kills me. His grin widened and the last thing I saw was the tail of his gun projecting against my skull, the pain numbing my mind and everything turning black.


	22. Chapter 20 part 2

So, here I was, battling against homework, away from my family –whom had gone to some water park- completely hysterical to finish this damn report, when, Oh surprise! My friend tells me that the teacher told her that we won´t have class tomorrow….WTF! I spent this horribly hot day inside my house with my nose inside books and not in a fucking water park because of that fucking report! Argh!

…ok now that my hate-teachers moment is over =D I can go back writing and getting excited because next week I´ll go camping! YAY!

Did you like that last cliffy? I loved it, it kept away a lot of trouble haha sooo now I present you:

FIGHT BACK – Chapter 20 part 2

Kendall PoV

"Fucking voicemail!" I groaned for the tenth time that day. After telling the teacher a little tale about a boy in juvy I had returned to class to start worrying when James didn't answer his phone, not just to me, but to Carlos and Logan also. The first calls I had understood why he didn't want to answer them, but hours later was just stupid, he had to know that with that escape he had confirmed me that the creep had called him…it didn't help either that I had a knot in the pit of my stomach like a prediction of something bad.

"I don't get why you´re worrying so much" spoke Carlos eating his pizza, it was lunch and for the first time in months it was just us in a table.

"It´s not normal" I mumbled putting my forehead on the table. I couldn't tell him the truth, James had begged me to keep his secret telling me that he would tell Carlos later when he was ready. I started thinking about who could help me, and just one person kept popping in my head. I sighed before dialing the number "Mom?"

"Kendall… hi son how are you?" she sounded awfully surprised, I guessed that even if we had that big talk some days ago I hadn't really called for peace yet.

"I´m fine but…it´s James, h-he could be in trouble and I need to find him" she had all this resources and she knew all this important people that could help her locate James in no time, I just wanted to know he was fine.

"What happened?" her voice went from _mom_ to _lawyer and ex-cop_ in no time.

"He ran from school and…there´s a man that´s stalking him and he´s not answering his phone, I just want to know if he went home…"

"Haven´t you called his parents?"

"No, by home I mean the shop, I´m sure he wouldn't go to his parent´s house…please mom I know it's a lot for someone that ran some hours ago but I´m telling you, he could be in d-danger" my voice trembled thinking of that man getting near him. I remembered the mall, James had completely paralyzed in fear and after these days I was sure he could react ever worse…I found it hard to believe that he would overcome his fear, maybe he had told me that he could but they were just words. I closed my eyes hoping I was over reacting, that he was safe in our home and that he would return my calls the moment he calmed but I had this terrible growing feeling that something was wrong with him.

"Okay Kendall calm down, I´m near downtown, I´ll stop by the shop, if I don't call you in fifteen minutes it means that he wasn't there and that I´m looking for Jose to help me in this" she knew that I normally wouldn't freak out about stupid stuff, that if I was this worried was for an important reason, and calling Carlos´ dad meant that she trusted my instincts.

"Thanks mom"

"Fifteen minutes" she told me before she hung up. I took a deep breath prior looking at my best friend, he was frowning and sounded his throat before speaking.

"I think this would be the best time to fill me in"

"I can´t, I promised James I would wait till he was ready to tell you…please understand dude, but I-I have…I have to know where he is"

James PoV

I gasped opening my eyes. I moved to sit straight looking around me feeling my heart hammer against my chest not knowing where I was. It was a small empty and dark room, the only light coming from a tiny window about six feet from the ground. I stood up gasping the wall when everything began to spin. My head hurt like hell and when I touched my temple I winced noticing my blood stained fingers. Taking a deep breath I started walking towards the window biting my lip when I saw through it and realized I was in some sort of basement. This could not be happening.

Kendall PoV

Two hours had passed sense I called my mother. It was an understatement to say that I was concerned about my boyfriend. I just had one last class before I could escape that place. I no longer cared about hockey practice or detention, I had to find James.

"Hey" I turned my head to the side when I heard Carlos´ whisper "Quit eating your nails. He´s gonna be fine" I nodded stopping chewing on my nails not the least convinced about his words. Why did math had to be so boring, irritating and _slow_? I groaned letting my head fall in my hands in the same moment some secretary knocked the classroom door.

"Kendall Knight?" my head popped the moment I heard my name "Please come to the principal´s office" I frowned getting up and walking behind the woman, I froze when I saw officer Garcia standing outside the principal´s office. Somehow I knew he wasn't there for Carlos.

"What happened?" I asked sensing a knot in my throat, he just sighed before letting me inside the office, the knot tightened when my eyes locked in Ms. Diamond ones. It was just us in the office.

"Did you know?" she questioned piercing me with her hazel glare.

"What?" somewhere inside me I knew what she was talking about but I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud, the door opened again and my mother emerged from it, she took a deep breath before handing me a small red object… James´ phone.

"A girl found it on a park bench and gave it to Jose…check his inbox"

"I already did" I frowned.

"The text inbox?" my body went numb hearing James´ mom words, I hadn't checked the texts, only the calls…and James knew I wouldn't even bother going through the texts, that was probably why he had given me his phone so willingly. Taking a deep breath I opened the ones coming from an unknown number.

"N-no, please no…" I whispered reading all the fucking things that sick bastard had told James, I couldn't even finish reading them, I turned off the phone and sat on the floor taking deep breaths "James…Fuck!" I cried grasping my hair, everything was clear now, his sick complexion, the terrified sobs inside the car…he had been getting this shit cracking him a little more every day…and now he had run off alone, he was nowhere to be seen and all because I didn't put more attention, because I didn't looked inside the fucking text inbox, if something happened to him it was all my fault.

"Kendall, Kendall look at me" said my mother kneeling next to me "We are going to find him, don't worry…"

"_He_ used to be a cop, he knows how to get around you…oh, God" I clenched my eyes hearing his mother soft cry "I´m sorry Ms. Diamond, it´s all my fault" I looked at her and she frowned.

"You didn't know about the texts…"

"We saw _him_, the first time we went to the mall he…" I swallowed "He talked to James and I had to promise him that I wouldn't say anything…that it was probably a onetime thing…but last week he started to act weird…last night he couldn't hold it any longer and he broke, that´s why he didn't want to go to your house, but it wasn't until this morning that I started to think that _that_ man had tried to contact him…James all willingly gave me his phone knowing what I would look for calls, not texts…but the minute he got one in front of me he freaked and ran, I-I tried to catch him but he´s too damn fast…mom please you have to find him" I begged her hugging her like I hadn't done in a long time.

James PoV

It was getting dark. I was surprised that the _officer_ hadn't paid me a visit yet, he knew that I could take him if I had my strength but I didn't have it at the moment. I hadn't eaten anything but a yogurt in two days, I was really tired and I could hardly keep my eyes open. Maybe he just wanted me to dwell on fear before he got to here and have me all willing to cooperate…well no more. I hugged my knees sensing the urge to cry, I wiped my face furiously, I was not going to cry, I had to be strong.

The sun abandoned me leaving me inside the dark room so alike that cell, just the faint light of the outside world to let me see past my nose. It was almost poetic how he had taken the bother to look for a place like this, maybe he was melancholic given that today was our anniversary and all…yeah cynicism was working marbles for my sanity.

Ugh my head felt like crap, but I guessed that was normal after being hit with a gun…I had a new found respect for the guys in the movies, they could take a hit and keep fighting, I had taken one and went straight to the floor. I was just glad that the son of a bitch hadn't striped me, maybe he wanted to make me do it for old time´s sake. I took a deep breath before standing up and going to the window, all I could see was an empty street, nothing familiar. I closed my eyes making a silent prey to give me the courage to do what I wanted to do. I stood on my tip toes and screamed with all my lungs.

"HELP! PLEASE SOMEBODY!" I voice felt raspy and dry, I had done that same thing at least two times already "HELP! POLICE! HELP!" the door opened revealing a really pissed looking man I ignored him and went for another yell "HEL…" he grabbed me by the hair taking back my head before he smashed me to the wall making me see stars.

"Don't scream Jamie, you´ll wake up the neighbors" he breathed in my ear pressing my head "I was giving you some time to adjust to this place, but I guess you were eager to start"

"NO!" I screamed when he clenched the hem of my pants backing up my ass to meet his thrust without letting go of my face. Disgusted I moved my arms fast using the wall for support to push back hard enough to get his hand away from me and taking advantage of the fact that he was too stunned by my actions I connected my fist to his jaw, I tried to run but he reacted tackling me back to the wall making me hit my head yet again I started to feel the metallic taste of blood in my mouth and my vision got blurry.

"Acting rough?" he laughed keeping his arm on my neck making me hate him even more, I groaned getting my knee up pushing him with it and my arms, he laughed louder before he reached to the back of his pants and I stopped moving seeing his gun. He used it to take my hair away from my eyes, I just looked at it knowing that tears were now running free through my face. Not because I was scared, but because I had just realized that those were probably my last moments alive. He began touching my chest with the gun thinking that I was giving up…sorry but not today. I screamed before I punched him on the side, he winced taking his arm away from my neck; I took his shirt and hit him again this time on his temple before running to the door feeling the adrenaline sprint through my veins. I reached the door and tried to open it finding it locked a little too late.

"Did you thing I would be this easy?" he said cleaning his blood from his lip with the back of his armed hand "I love that you finally grew a pair Jamie, makes this a lot more fun" he put his gun back in its case before opening his arms "Come on, try to take the key away from my neck" I saw a small key hanging on a chain around his neck. I fisted my hands knowing that there was no way I could beat him in my state.

"Even if I die" I said swallowing my fear and launching me to him.

Kendall PoV

We were at James´ living room waiting for any news from the search party. Logan sat beside me looking lost and frighten, Carlos was at the other side, tears falling from his eyes, I had just told him the truth and still he was taking all in. Ms. Diamond was at the other side of the room sitting on the couch hugging her daughter. Katie hadn't stopped crying sense she got out of school and found his brother now reported as _missing_.

Me? I was cool and collected in the outside, but inside I was a mess of anxiety and worry. I wanted to accompany James´ dad and the cops, but being a minor they didn't let me.

"Kendall" I lifted my gaze when I heard Katie´s words "He´s strong" and with that I cracked, the memories of last night pilling in my mind as silent tears rolled down my face.

"Yes he is" I said convinced, he had promised me that he would fight to his last breath and his hazel eyes had told me that he would keep that promise even if he died. I sobbed when the realization of what his words meant crashed into me. I wanted to see him again, I wanted to taste his lips, to see his smile, to touch his hair again but a part of me knew that it was most likely not going to happen, that my love was fighting for his life or…or he was already dead.

"H-Hello?" I answered when my phone buzzed.

"I think we found him" my mom said hardly convinced "There was a call saying that somebody was screaming for help in a street at the outsides of Minneapolis"

"Please hurry up" I whispered closing my phone and taking a deep breath before telling the others the news.

"It´s him" murmured Logan "It has to be him"

James PoV

I was dizzy and I couldn't open one eye, at the moment I was against a wall trying to gain my breath. My only comfort was seeing the _officer_ pretty beat up too. We walked towards me grasping my shoulder and burying his fist on my stomach taking out the little air I had left. I folded myself gasping loudly trying to bring oxygen in.

"I´m getting tired of this Jamie" he tossed me to the ground and started kicking my sides, I winced when I heard one of my ribs crack, clenching my eyes trying to stiff my pained cries "I think it´s time to get the real fun" I froze hearing his words.

"No!" I yelled trying to stand up again, but he grabbed my arm and twisted in my back using it to press my face to the ground "Get away from me!" I started moving attempting to free myself when his right fist met my pained side, I didn't even scream, I just opened my mouth gasping for air and my eyes filling with tears.

"Behave Jamie" said his voice at my ear, I shivered in hate when his tongue passed through my cheek. I began twisting desperately under his grip when I felt my pants loosen up "If you keep moving it will get painful" he said his fingers digging in my battered ribs.

I couldn't care less about the pain, he was not going to do this again so I kept moving all I could, which by now was nowhere near the movement I needed to get away from him. I sobbed when I felt his dick bruise my now exposed ass. I dug my nails in the floor "Kendall" I whispered hating myself for not keeping my promise, but I was too tired, I couldn't fight anymore. The moment he started to get inside me my eyes shot open seeing the room filled with a blue light, I thought I was hallucinating but the _officer_ stopped moving too, then the light changed to red and back to blue a couple of times before I registered its meaning.

"IN HERE! HELP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, I felt his grip weaken and moving fast I moved my leg, turned around and kick him right in the balls "HELP!" I yelled again backing from him. He wore a pained expression as he straightened himself and took his gun out. I knew it, this was it, I was going to die, at least the police could find my body and take it to my family…to Kendall. We both heard some muffled noises outside the door "IN HERE!" he glared at me before loading his gun and BANG! My eyes widen when I saw the door swung open revealing a group of cops holding a big trunk-like thing, the bastard shot one of them signing his own death sentence. I covered my ears protecting them from the sound of three shots, two of them hitting him in the chest and the last one right between the eyes. He collapsed filling the ground with his blood. I watched in awe how the man stopped breathing. It was over.

"James!" I was having trouble breathing, my heart beating too fast "Son!" my eyes felt heavy and I couldn't focus on anything around me, felling exhausted I shut my eyes finally finding unconsciousness.


	23. Chapter 21

Ugh so. Much. Homework….*dies*

Sooo its Friday, Friday, Friday (8)…hahaha take care!

Now I leave you:

NOTHING HAPPENED! - CHAPTER 21

Kendall PoV

I jumped when my phone started buzzing and two seconds later the home phone began ringing. Aware that it couldn't be a coincidence I answered hurriedly, James´ mom followed my actions taking her phone.

"We found him" said my mom the minute I put my phone on my ear. I closed my eyes sighing in relief but then I tensed, she didn't sound happy about it.

"I-Is he?"

"He´s…fine, he´s at the hospital pretty injured, Mr. Diamond is already taking to his wife, come here I know he will need you when he wakes up" I swallowed not sure about her words, all of this had been my fault after all.

"Yeah…will you be there?" Logan and Carlos were looking at me anxiously they wanted to know what was going on.

"Of course" somehow the way she said it made me feel good, it was a statement, it was reassurance that she would be there for me, and I loved the feeling of my mom caring for me again.

"See you there then…bye"

"Bye" I hung up to face my friends

"He´s at the hospital" I mumbled.

"Lets go" talked Logan getting up, Katie and Carlos followed him, I just looked straight to meet Ms. Diamond eyes, she was still talking in the phone. I thought that her eyes were going to look at me accusingly, but instead she gave me a small smile…that woman was too good for her own good, I knew exactly why James always wanted to protect her.

"I love you too" she said before she hung up and walked towards me "He´s alive, he´s fine and that man is dead…why aren't you smiling and eager to see my son?" she said taking my hand.

"Why don't you hate me? I knew the _officer_ was around, I knew something was up with James, h-he was so scared" I fisted my hands hating myself for not being able to save my boyfriend in time "I should had checked the fucking text inbox" I lowered my gaze attempting to suffocate my tears "Everything is my fault…I-I can´t even think about seeing him, just knowing that he´s injured because of me is fucking killing me…" I shut up when I felt her hand on my cheek.

"First: language" she told me in a sweet tone, if I wasn't so shaken up I could have laughed at her words, manners even in the worst times.

"Sorry" I apologized in a small voice.

"Second: Kendall, if someone is _not_ guilty about this is you. You were the one that brought my baby back to life, you were the one that healed his wounds, you were the only one that noticed his worry, his sadness, if it wasn't for you we might kept thinking that he was safe in school, thanks to you and your mom the police found him in time…Kendall look at me" I raised my eyes "Maybe you´re too scared to see the state he´s probably in, but _please_ don't step away now, he needs you" she squeezed my hand "Come on I´m sure Logan might be going crazy for waiting"

The trip to the hospital was silent, Logan drove carefully and concentrated, I was glad he was there because neither Carlos, Ms. Diamond or I were controlled enough to be at the wheel. I was looking at the window trying to not think about what could have happened to James, he had been a whole day with that maniac. I wiped my tears furiously, I had to be strong, I had to be there for my boyfriend.

The minute we got there Ms. Diamond ran from the car to get inside the hospital, I followed her shortly not even waiting for Logan to turn off the engine. I got in and looked around not having the slightness idea where to go.

"Kendall" I turned to face my mother, she hugged me strongly before speaking again "The Diamonds are with him, just two persons at the time"

"Have you seen him?" she nodded biting her lip "How bad?"

"He has a broken rib, a lot of bruises and a bad black eye…he´s still asleep" I flinched hearing her words.

"Did that bastard…?" I couldn't even finish that sentence but she appeared to understand my question, she took a deep breath her eyes watering.

"We don't know h-he…he had no pants when we got there and the doctors don't think is a good thing to make that kind of studies before he wakes up" noticing the pain her words had caused me she hugged me again, this time I grasped her body shaking, why was life so unfair? James was nothing but the best person I had known, why did those horrible things happened to him?

James PoV

Ouch. That was the first thing that I could think before the images of that day galloped inside my mind, but all of them seemed blurry like my mind was covered by a dense fog taking every bad feeling away, leaving me like a movie spectator, knowing the facts bur not really caring about the bad things that happened, just the good ones… I had fought him and he was dead now…it was over. I could yell and scream scared of what had happened to me, but all I wanted to do was laugh and smile, Kendall had been right, I had been strong enough…_Kendall_… I was going to see him again, I was alive and I was ready to kiss his guts out and tell him that I had done it. Even if every part of my body hurt like hell…well, not every part, there was no pain on my ass and that one thought was comforting enough to bring a smile to my lips.

"Mom, did they morphine him?" said a voice, Katie´s voice...hearing my baby sister speak after thinking that I was going to die was like a breath of fresh air.

"I don't know, why do you ask?" it was my mother and God I was happy to hear her.

"He´s smiling" hearing Katie´s words made my smile grew flinching a little when a cut opened; I heard a gasp before a soft hand encircled mine.

"James, son, are you awake?" I didn't want to move, yeah I was ecstatic but too beat up to ignore my body aching "Baby come on, please wake up"

"I think I need that morphine Katie talked about" I said in a raspy voice while I opened my eye blinking away the tears from my right eye, yeah the left one was temporally out of service. Katie yelp and launched herself hugging me, I hissed in pain and two seconds later my sister was away from me mumbling apologies "It´s ok I love you too" I breathed closing my eyes, I was so fucked up.

"Katie, tell your dad that he´s awake" ordered my mom before going back to me "Hey baby" she smiled kissing my hand "How are you feeling?"

"Great" I said truly and apparently she didn't believe me because she grimaced clearly not happy, I tried to tell her that it was truth when the door opened revealing my father and officer Garcia.

"Hi son" my dad stood there awkwardly, like he didn't know how I was going to react, after all, last time I couldn't even stand him touching me. Mental note, get dad alone and convince him that I´m fine "We need to talk to you about…"

"Nothing happened" God it felt so good to say it out loud, and of course no one in the room seemed to believe in me…ok it was time to talk to Kendall, he would believe me.

"Son, we need to know but if you´re not ready…" started Officer Garcia, I didn't know nor cared why they needed to know, I wanted Kendall.

"Where´s Kendall?" I looked at my mother, she gave me an amused eyeroll.

"I was starting to wonder when were you going to start asking for him"

"I thought it would be rude to ask for my boyfriend before I got to see my parents" I grinned not even feeling the sting of the cuts in my lips.

"He´s outside, want me to go for him?" spoke Carlos´ dad, I nodded "We will talk later James, get well" he gave me a small nod before exiting the room.

"Dad…" he raised his eyebrow "How bad do I look?"

"Hopefully worse that the way you feel"

"Good answer" I laughed before groaning at the pain in my sides, yeah those kicks were sure effective "How are you guys?" I choked out trying to mask my soreness and they frowned, yeah normally the question should be the other way around. I rested my hand in my stomach I hadn't been joking about the morphine.

"Worried about you James" answered my mother moving my hair away from my face "You don't have to pretend anymore, it´s ok to show weakness"

"Your mother´s right son, please stop this charade" I wanted to bump my head to a wall out of exasperation and that wasn't good for my health right now.

"Why do you guys think this is a charade? I´m good, is that a crime?" judging from their faces it was "I need to see Kendall, why isn't he here?"

"He´s outside but I don't think he wants to come inside just yet" spoke my dad.

"Why?"

"He blames himself" said my mom.

"What?" I jerked my head up regretting it seconds later when everything began to spin.

"Easy there" my dad rested his hand on my shoulder keeping me down, I covered his hand with mine taking deep breaths with my eyes closed; it had been three days like this, I was beginning to miss the good old solid not-moving ground "He says he saw your phone and overlooked your texts, he thinks he could have stopped this if he just put more attention…in that part I might agree with him…"

"Don't. Even. Dare" I glared at him not putting a lot of attention at his words except for that last part "If someone is guilty about this is me, not Kendall, never Kendall"

"How can you be…?"

"Mom! I had those texts sense last week and he was the only one that noticed, but I shoved him away, I lied to him and I was the one that ran from school, I´m the only one responsible for this! The only thing Kendall did was giving me strength…thanks to him NOTHING HAPPENED!" I hated yelling at my parents but I was tired, aching and missing my boyfriend like crazy…not in the best mood to talk about guilt.

Kendall PoV

I heard James screams from inside the room, _nothing happened_…that was good.

"I can´t believe he´s still saying that" said Carlos´ dad to my mom, he had a preoccupied expression.

"You don't believe him?" asked my mother.

"You saw him Jenny, he was half naked, all beat up and terrified…I hate to say it but it´s impossible that in the whole day that creep didn't touch him" I winced hearing his words, was James lying? Was he protecting everyone else like he always did? I really didn't think so.

"You have to talk to him" spoke Logan looking at me; I avoided his gaze finding my shoes suddenly too interesting "Kendall if there´s someone that he would trust to tell the truth it´s you"

"He lied to me about the texts, who says he wouldn't lie about this?" the brunet shaked his head.

"You said it yourself, he told you something was wrong, he told you that he was scared, that's a lot more than what he told anyone of us…" we turned our heads when we heard some footsteps, James´ parents were walking to meet us.

"How is he?" I asked the minute we crossed gazes.

"Happy" smiled his mother, now everyone in the room was looking at her in bewilderment "Or that´s what he says, we don't know if we should call Kelly to talk to him…or that we should wait till you talk to him" now they were looking at me like some kind of savior…fuck.

"I-I…"

"Kendall" my mom walked to stand next to me "I care about James and if by doing this he would get better then, sorry I have to act like a mom again" I frowned not knowing what she was talking about until I felt her hand pinching my ear and start dragging me to the room.

"Mom!" I whined just before she opened the door and shoved me inside, I almost fell to the ground tripping in my own feet, regained my balance just when the door was locked. I took a deep breath and turned to look at my amused boyfriend.

"I give your entrance a 90, just kind of lost the stile at the end" he mocked and I shivered when I _really_ looked at him, my mom was right, he had a nasty black eye keeping his left eye closed, he had a burst lip and his face was pretty bruised, he had a hand resting on his stomach, I remembered my mom telling me that he had a broken rib…I didn't want to know what else hid under the hospital grown "Quit moping and come here" he raised his other hand his gaze glassy and amused, I just looked down thinking that he must been in some kind of drugs to act this happy "Kendall fucking Knight get your pretty ass here this instant before I get up and get you myself" he sounded pissed "Ok then" my eyes shot up when I saw him move, he was going to get up.

"Wait!" I ran to his side resting my hands on his shoulders keeping him down "Geez, are you crazy?"

"For you love" he waved his eyebrow "Now…" he winced when he began moving to the side leaving one half of the bed empty "Come here" he ordered a little out of breath, I looked at him like he was crazy.

"I don't think that's a good idea"

"The whole _idea_ of a hospital is to make the patients feel better, and having you by my side is better than any medicine, come on Kendall we need to talk and I won´t do it like this" and then he gave me the saddest puppy _eye_ I had ever seen.

"Fine" I exhaled getting inside the bed resting on my side, ducking my head on his neck and softly resting my hand on top of his. We stood silent loving the feeling of being in eachothers arms; his smell, his soft hair tickling my face and his body heat came to my senses crashing every bit of control I had left and began crying against his neck, he held my hand strongly breathing slowly.

"You idiot" I sobbed "Why didn't you t-tell me?" he kept silent "James, fuck! Please tell me that at least you learned from this"

"Learn what?" he asked softly his look fixed on the ceiling.

"If you asked then you didn't learn anything" I raised my head "James you have to stop taking care of people, you kept the secret because you didn't want to worry us and you ended up making a mess out of everyone" he lowered his gaze and under all the bruises I could see his cheeks turning red in shame.

"Don't you think I know that? After all I had an entire day in an empty room to think about my stupid decisions" he wiped my tears before resting his head on mine finally meeting my eyes "He kept me there until nightfall, there was a small window and I screamed for help, the last time I did it he came inside…he was pissed and we started fighting" his hazel orbs shined amused "I kicked him in the balls"

"Good" I smiled sensing his emotion "Nothing happened?"

"No…for a moment it could, I was tired, dizzy and hurt, that was when he pinned me to the ground and took away my pants…" he inhaled "If the police had taken one more minute _something_ would had happened, but it didn't…and he´s dead…and I fought him, all thanks to you, so no more…" I leaned and kissed him just glad that he was back, that he was alive and that he was himself.

James PoV

Kissing was painful, but not kissing him was excruciating. I didn't have much desired to take the lead so I opened my lips granting him complete access to my mouth moaning at the mix of pain and pleasure.

"Sorry" he whispered ending the kiss way too fast for me.

"Why?" I blinked confused, he smiled and touched my lip with his finger and then he showed it to me, it was bloodstained "It´s ok your kisses will make it better" I cupped his face pulling him back to me, his lips were a lot more gentle trying to avoid my cuts making me enjoy it more. We kissed for what it seemed like hours until we heard the door opening.

"Wow you were busy" mocked Carlos followed by Logan "Sorry to interrupt but we had to see you sometime tonight" Kendall laughed and got up, I grimaced at the heat loss "Wow! That's a black eye!"

"Yeah and it hurts like hell" I smiled moving my feet to make room for them to sit in the bed, Kendall gave me the bed´s control and I pressed it to lift it to a sitting position pressing my mouth when my body whined at the movement.

"How are you?" asked my best friend.

"Sore and hungry" I took Kendall´s hand "I´m sorry Logan, I know it hurts you that I didn't tell you about anything…"

"It´s ok dude, you know it" he smiled palming my foot "Now you focus on getting better"

"Thanks" my eyes turned to Carlos, he gave me a calm look and somehow I knew that Kendall had told him about my past.

"Glad that you´re ok" said the latino "It´s late and I have to go to school, Kendall your mom called for you" he moved close to me and pressed my shoulder "See´ya tomorrow, I´ll bring you some comics to kill time" Kendall chuckled rolling his eyes, I heard him mutter something like _crazy geeks_ under his breath.

"Oh you better. Bye"

"I´ll have to go too, Carlos´s gonna leave me at my grandma´s house" said Logan getting up before walking and giving me a small one arm hug "I´ll be here around noon, you need to sleep"

"Sure mom" I joked noticing that Kendall was getting up too "Be sure to get back" I told him, he smiled before kissing my head and the three of them walked outside.

"Shit" I hissed closing my eye, my head felt like it got hit by a hammer, my sides were sore making every breath painful and my eye was so swollen and uncomfortable that I knew I was going to have a hard time sleeping, every passing minute the pain increased, I was so asking for painkillers when the doctor got there.

A couple of minutes later the nurse came and they took me to a personal room away from the ER, my parents went back to the doctors, Kendall was with his mom and I ended up with Katie, we didn't talk much, she just kept her hand on mine while we watched some TV.

"Why is it that there´s nothing interesting at this hour?" she asked flipping the channels.

"Because it´s past midnight sis…the only interesting thing at this hour is porn and not even gay porn" she chuckled.

"Gross dude!" she moved to look at me "If they made you pick, who would you want to stay the night? Mom or Kendall?"

"Tough one" Not really, I loved my mother but I was way more comfortable with my boyfriend staying over "Kendall" I whispered "But I´m sure my mom won´t let me pick"

"I can suggest it to her"

"I would love that baby sis" I wasn't going to lie to her "But I won´t do that to her" the door opened and Kendall walked inside.

"I have to go now" he said sitting on the bed and cupping my chin "I´m staying at my mom´s house" there was a surprise.

"I´m glad to hear that" I smiled before he leaned and kissed me sweetly.

"I´ll be here first thing in the morning"

"You have school"

"I don't fucking care about school right now and besides…" he lowered his gaze "I told Mr. Smith and our parents told the principal…so I guess I´m good"

"How did you get the whole police department to look for me? I was gone just some hours"

"My mom used to be a cop before I was born, I told her I needed her to find you and she did everything she could to do it. The _dance_ started when they found your phone and read your texts"

"So that was how my dad knew about them" I grimaced, if my dad had read them it was possible that Kendall, my mom and a lot other people had read them too.

"You are pretty strong, did you know that?" he smiled even if his eyes were dark and sad "I don't understand how you could put up with that shit every day all by yourself"

"Like I told you, maybe you didn't know, but you helped me a lot just by being here at my side"

"I have to go" he repeated resting his head on my shoulder clearly not liking the idea.

"You keep telling yourself that, maybe you´ll do it in the next century"

"Ah, thank you for the love James" he gave me an Eskimo kiss "I love you"

"I love you too. Good night"

"Tomorrow, first thing in the morning" he kissed me before storming out of the room, I chuckled knowing that there was no other way for him to leave.

"You guys are so corny" sighed Katie "If all that honey was spread with me in the room I don't want to know what you guys do when you´re alone"

"Depends on our moods" Or how horny we are.


	24. Chapter 22

Hum hum hummmmm …haha nothing to say except that is freaking hot in here!...xD okeeey now for the matters at hand!

FANTASY – CHAPTER 22

Kendall PoV

It was odd waking up in my old room again. I opened my eyes to look at the starry ceiling, my dad had filled it with glow in the dark stars the minute I told him I was scared. I smiled at the memories, for the first time in years I let myself feel the good things about that place and not just the bitter moments after my father´s death. The smell of bacon hit my nostrils making my mouth water…my mom making breakfast, hadn't seen that in a while.

I sat letting out a breath, I hadn't really give much thought to my whole family drama. Part of me had already forgiven my mother, but other part of me was afraid of _hoping_ again and get those hopes shattered. I sighed passing my hand through my hair; my mom had done the impossible to help James, she had been there for me the entire day, updating about the search and holding me at the hospital, that was the reason I decided to accept her invitation to stay here, in any case I didn't want to go back to my place to mope alone and James looked so happy when I told him I was staying here…perhaps it was a good thing to let things move on their own, after all, I did miss my mother.

I got up and walked to the shower glad that my mom had insisted on going to my place for clothes. I let the hot water fall in my tense muscles moving my neck trying to relax them. Even with James safe in the hospital I didn't sleep well last night, I kept thinking and thinking nonsense getting into a tiredness induced slumber. I finished showering, dried and changed before walking to the kitchen. My mom was watching a small TV sitting on the kitchen´s island.

"Morning" I said taking seat next to her, she had her hair wet but was on her pajamas looking tired.

"Morning, how did you sleep?" she got up and started serving two plates.

"Fine, you?" I got up and began pouring juice in a couple of glasses.

"Fine" she sat and I followed her "They won´t let you visit James until 11am" I looked at the clock, it was 8:30.

"Yeah, I know" she chuckled at my sad tone as she started eating.

"I think that you could send him something, it´s always nice to get flowers when you´re at the hospital"

"Yeah…I don't think he´s that kind of guy" I took a bite resting my head on my hands.

"I´m not saying a big bouquet, just something nice…maybe a single rose"

"That is shallow for me, the big red rose cliché" I shaked my head feeling my phone buzzing on my pants and frowned seeing that it was text from an unknown number, I opened it and smiled.

**My mom wants to shower me, I want YOU to shower me, can you please get here before 9? – J**

"Are you going to work?" I asked my mom knowing that bacause I had left my car at the Diamond´s house, I needed a ride to the hospital.

"Yes, was that James?" she eyed the phone.

"Yeah, he wants me to get there before 9…"

"Why?"

"He wants me to shower him" I was witness of the best _spit take_ ever…and yeah I laughed a lot seeing her stunned expression.

"Now I remember… him telling me that he lived with you on the weekends…should have seen that coming" she coughed smiling "Sorry I just forgot how forward are you boys nowadays…I don't know if his mom would let him"

"Me neither, but I really can´t say no to him…"

"The puppy eyes?" she smiled showing me a dimple just like mine "That was my greatest weapon against your dad, I think it´s hereditary"

"Yeah" I lowered my gaze not being ready to hear her talk about my father, maybe I was on the path to forgiveness, but she wasn't there just yet "Would you give me a ride?"

"Sure, be ready in ten" she went back to her room. I sighed gathering the dishes and deciding to wash them before going to clean my teeth. Nine minutes later I was waiting for her in the living room, when she arrived she was Jennifer Knight, the ruthless lawyer again, with navy suit and her hair perfect.

"Time to go" she smiled softening her look "I want to talk to him a minute before leaving, I hope they let us in"

The ride was silent and a little awkward, we both took note about not mentioning my dad until we had a better relationship, we weren't ready for that kind of talk just yet. We got inside the hospital and after a lot of begging and convincing they let us into the room, and just when I was about to open the door we heard the unmistakable high pinch yelp of my boyfriend.

"MOM!" I froze trying to hide my smile "I am not talking sex with you!"

"But son you have to talk to someone"

"Yeah, but that someone certainly isn't you, now I told you it´s better if Kendall does it!"

"I won´t let him until you tell me, how far have you got?" now I understood James behavior, he hated when people got their noses in his sex life, specially his family.

"I told you, he has seen me naked already, there´s no need for more info"

"I need it, you used to trust me, I want to know what´s going on with you…and I want to know how uncomfortable are you about sexual themes" James groaned, I could almost picture his red face.

"I´m uncomfortable speaking to _you_ about it"

"Did you bottom?" my mouth shot open, that woman was too pushy, my mom was covering her mouth with her hand, an amused glow in her eyes.

"MOM! Get out! Get out please!" deciding that it was time to intervene I opened the door and walked inside smiling at James´ face, he had a pained expression, he looked tense and completely blushed.

"Hi tomato face" I mocked kissing his cheek, he glared at me.

"Did you hear that?" asked his mom raising her eyebrow.

"His whines…sure" I shrugged.

James PoV

My mom was crazy, period.

First I had woken up feeling like shit, if yesterday it was hard to breathe, today was hard to stay awake, my left eye wouldn't stop tearing, every muscle in my body screamed in agony and my ribs were swollen making me even more uncomfortable…yeah the euphoria was leaving me too, I had a terrible urge to cry even if I didn't know why.

Later my mom said that I needed a shower, I told her to call Kendall because she was too small to really help me get up because my father was at work, she had refused and we had argued until she decided to go to my weak spot…sex talk. She knew that if her condition to let Kendall shower me was for me to tell her about my sex life, I would refuse…she didn't imagine that I actually started to tell her some things, but I had never imagined how far she wanted to know about it, not just out of curiosity, but because if I answered them she could be certain that nothing had happened and that I wasn't completely traumatized about it. Now I was all blushed seeing my traitor boyfriend, he was supposed to be the shameless one and get me out of that predicament, but no, he was faking innocence letting my mom ask all those questions again.

"Hi James" said Jennifer walking near me "How are you?"

"Great, thanks to you" I smiled for real trying to ignore my mother and Kendall´s talk.

"You helped me get in touch with my son again, I owed it to you"

"Even so, thanks" she winked at me before walking to my mom and greeted her.

"Brooke, have you eaten anything?" she questioned.

"Not really"

"How about we go, have a coffee and leave these two alone, I think those were way too many questions for one day"

"Kendall" he jumped at my mother´s tone, it was the _serious warning_ one "Make sure he´s clean" oh that was a nice surprise, Kendall nodded and the two mothers got out.

"Come on, lets get you naked" he winked at me before leaning and giving me a soft kiss "Hi"

"Hi" I grabbed his neck keeping his lips against mine closing my eyes longing his touch. I laid back on the bed pulling him to me hugging his body. He moaned when I tugged his hair moving to nip my neck, leaving small kisses in every bruise.

"Ahem" we froze in a not pretty position, Kendall had his face on the crook of my neck, his hand just above my ass, I had my leg up and my hands tugging his shirt and hair…if the nurse had any doubts about my sexual orientation, they had been wiped in that second "Morning James" she said.

"Morning" I untangled myself from my not-too-happy boyfriend.

"Ready to take away those bandages?" she walked to the bed and helped me sit slowly.

"Oh yeah…shit!" I swore when I tried to lift my hands to undo the gowns knot, my sides protested at the muscle movement and my arms shot down hugging my abs, I press my mouth breathing to take away the pain.

"Let me" whispered Kendall from behind me passing his hands soothingly through my arms, he did it and I took it away leaving it at my waist, I heard him curse at the sight of my back, I had no idea how bruised I was, I hadn't left the bed for a minute sense I woke up.

"Yeah he looks bad, but don't worry when you´re done showering I´ll give you another painkiller and antidepressive doses" _Antidepressive_? Why didn't I know about those?

"Have you given me a dose before this one?" Could those be the real reason of my good mood?

"When you were asleep, standard procedure for…" he eyes darkened as she started undoing my bandages "Special cases"

"You mean the physical abused?" she flinched at my sharp words.

"James don't be mean" scolded my boyfriend walking to face me.

"It´s the truth…are you saying that I felt good yesterday because I was stoned?"

"Not in those words, but it does help" she gathered the bands "You look good" she started touching gently my right side, I had to grasp my sheets and bite my lip to stop my pained whimpers "I´ll call the doctor, you might go home before noon" she smiled before waving at us and walked outside.

"Come on" Kendall helped me dress again and resting my hand on his I stood up, I breathed letting my head fall on his shoulder, he kissed my neck "A hot shower will help" he moved away leaving a kiss on my forehead, I knew something way hotter that most definitely would help me.

We got inside the bathroom and he softly took away my gown, when I was naked I turned to the mirror fisting my hands in hate when I saw my body. My right side was bruised, I could see the deep purple turn into green and yellow fading in my skin, I had some bruises in my arms and there was my face…yeah lets not talk about my face.

"How´s my back?" I whispered finding it hard to twist my body to look at it.

"You have your shoulder blades hurt and there´s a…" he swallowed making a hatred expression "There´s a bite between them"

"When the hell did he do that?" I thought out loud not having any memory of it, but I figured it had been at the time he had me in the ground and I was more focused on escaping.

"Are you done being mature about this?" he asked taking off his shirt, I saw his tense back, he knew that probably I was about to break. He moved to face me cupping my face forcing me to look inside his emerald eyes, I held his gaze defiantly, I did not want to cry, no more for that bastard "So you´re not, ok time to shower" he pecked my lips before taking away his shoes and turning on the shower "Come on"

"You´re not showering with me" I mumbled not moving a muscle.

"I´m supposed to clean you, not…"

"But I want you to" he looked at me frowning, I walked to him resting my hands on his chest leaning in, I nuzzle his neck with my nose, he swallowed.

"James…" I kissed his pulse point grinning at its quick phase, I let my lips nip his Adam´s apple, he let out a guttural grown resting his hands on my hips as mine lowered unzipping his pants "Your mother could be outside…shit" he hissed when I started pumping him.

"That just makes it even more interesting" he stopped my hand resting his head in mine.

"No" he sounded his throat and took a deep breath "James, not now… not here, not today"

"Why? Normally you are all eager to have sex" I pressed his dick and he involuntary rocked against my hand moaning.

"James…please stop" I did and I looked at him "Sex isn't always the way out, you have to talk to me too"

"What if I don't want to?" I started feeling a lump in my throat, I needed a way out, I needed to forget.

"But you need it" and he hugged me, I closed my eyes feeling his heart beat against my chest, his hand caressing my hair, I hugged him back clenching my eyes to stop my tears. He gently untangled himself before disposing of his pants and guiding me to the shower. I closed my eyes exhaling loving the hot water against my body, he started cleaning my hair, I just let my head fall back for the water to wash the shampoo away.

"I don't want to break" I whispered resting my cheek on his "Because I won´t go back to where I was right away and I know that my parents will notice and won´t believe nothing happened"

"You can´t bottle up like this, they will note that too" he started massaging my hips with his thumbs.

"If you let me touch you I will be a lot better and able to maintain the happy act until I can go home with you" I raised my eyebrow looking at his half hard member.

"No" it was a faint whisper, but strong enough to tell that no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't going to get anywhere. I pressed my jaw not happy about it while he started to clean my body "Stop pouting" he smiled making me smile; we were so good at getting rid of uncomfortable moments.

"I thought you loved my pouty face"

"When you were five in that picture, now I have a love-hate relationship with it" he passed his hand through my eye "Haven´t they give you some ice or something to take this away?"

"They haven´t even feed me" I chuckled "But I´m ok, just weak"

"Glad you are, if you had your normal strength….we would be in a different position right now" he kissed my neck "Now lets hurry or your mom might think I´m taking advantage of you in here" he turned off the shower and help me walk outside.

"If only" I joked letting him dry me.

"How can you be this horny after _that_?" yeah I was amazed too, I should really be a sick bastard.

"Don't know, don't care…perhaps because I have a sexy greened eyed god to pamper me" I winked at him, he rolled his eyes smiling; I had told him about my awesome wet dream some weeks ago.

"I still refuse to make that fantasy come truth" he took a clean gown and raised it signaling me to put it on.

"Why? Looking at you jacking of to oblivion moaning my name can be the hottest thing I could ever see" I whispered to his ear, he shivered shaking his head.

"Why masturbate in your name with you watching me when I could be making love to you?"

"How about I make your fantasy come truth and then you do it?" I put on the gown and he walk behind me to tie it.

"Not happening James, now stop talking nonsense" he turned to dress himself.

"What´s your fantasy?" I inquired, he had never talked about things like that.

"Phone sex, jacking you off in a public place…yeah I think that pretty much covers it"

"Liar" he finished taking my hand and opening the bathroom door "Tell me"

"Just let it go James" and there was the nurse waiting with new bandages, Kendall smiled relived at having someone to get him out of that argue which made me even more curious.

"The doctor will be here in a minute, I´ll wait till he takes a look at you to put on the bandages" I nodded sitting on the bed.

"Do you have something for his eye?" asked my boyfriend just when our mothers and the doctor walked in.

"I´ll bring him some ice" said the nurse.

"Hello James, I´m doctor Turner, how are you feeling?"

"Everything hurts" I lied down and the doctor moved away my gown passing his fingers through my ribs.

"It´s lighter that it feels, wearing your bandages every day for three weeks will do it, I will prescribe you some painkillers and you can go home as soon as the police comes"

"Why do I have to wait for the police?"

"They have to interrogate you" spoke my mother taking my hand "To know what happened"

I grimaced not really in the mood to relive that day, but they were right to ask, I had worried them and they needed an explanation. The rest of the morning passed quickly I ate something that I couldn't quite name…yeah _hospital food_; Jennifer went to work around ten, and I stayed at the room drifting from barely awake to a light sleep, having Kendall´s hand on my own at all times.

Kendall PoV

I watched him fall asleep, I lift my hand to caress his cheek, he leaned to it curving his lips sighing. I smiled before some movement from the other side of the room caught my attention, Ms. Diamond switched on her seat to look at us.

"Ms. Diamond…I know it's a lot to ask for but…would you let James stay with me when they discharge him?"

"I don't know" she whispered not wanting to wake him, I felt like I needed to explain myself, it wasn't easy to ask her this kinds of things.

"He´s not all right…he´s jumpy and sad, and I know it hurts you to know this but he won´t open unless he´s alone with me"

"Do you believe him?"

"About what?" I was too engrossed on James to have my brain function how it should be.

"That nothing happened"

"Yeah I do" she bit her lip clearly unsure "Two days ago we talked, he asked me what was he supposed to do if he got to face that man alone…"

"What did you tell him?" she interrupted me.

"To fight him" I looked at his face "He was scared, he told me he couldn't take him…I tried to convince him otherwise, and later he told me that he would do it, that he wouldn´t let that creep near him…that´s why I believe him"

"Yes but…"

"He also told me what happened…"

"Both of the times?"

"Yes" she lowered her gaze, I saw her eyes fill with tears.

"I know I should be thankful that he has someone to tell all this…but it saddens me that he had to wait two years to find that person…how was it?" yeah I didn't think I should answer that.

"I don't want you to know" whispered James surprising us he opened his eyes and stare into the ceiling.

"Why not?"

"Because I don´t…stop asking!" I grimaced at his harsh tone; that was the second time he snapped that morning, he really needed to let everything out, and his mom appeared to get that too because she captured my eyes and nodded.

"Hey James" I took the chance to give him the only good news I had heard the day before.

"Hey Kendall"

"Do you remember that I told Mr. Smith about you?"

"Yeah"

"Do you remember that before you stormed out he was telling you something about CLA?"

"Nope" he frowned, his mother was looking at me with wide eyes.

"Do you know what CLA is?"

"College of liberal arts" he whispered, I felt his hand grasping mine, like he didn't want to imagine what I was about to tell him.

"They sent a letter asking for you…apparently NYU keeps the record of is accepted students for other colleges to look, and they don't seem to care about criminal records…they want you in"

"James that's wonderful" said his mother covering her mouth, they all had lost hope about him getting into a real college and hearing this should be amazing. James was silent, he had his eyes closed and his hand had a almost painful grip on mine, he told me that he had worked his ass off his entire life to get into a nice college, to study arts and be recognized about it, after thinking all that work was wasted because of a homophobic moron, life decided to give him a little gift. I was about to ask him how he felt when we heard a small knock on the door.

"Come in" said Ms. Knight, officer Garcia came inside smiling at me before looking at James who was hurriedly wiping away his tears.

"I´m sorry James but we can´t wait any longer"

"Ok" he said in a small voice.

"Can you leave us alone?" asked the cop, we nodded and walk outside the room.

James PoV

Talking to Officer Garcia made me realize how everything had _really _bothered me, perhaps the antidepressive was the reason I was in such a good mood…before that moment, right now I was sitting on the hospital bed hugging my knees feeling tears run freely through my cheeks and Carlos´ dad gently palming my back.

"J-Just when he was about to…you know…I saw the sirens, the lights and I started screaming" damn him for being such a good cop and get all of this out of me "He got distracted and I got away, I screamed again and he got mad…he pointed his gun at me seconds before the cops arrived"

"I´m sorry you have to relive this James, but we had to know so his family doesn't sue yours" I cringed at his words, _no way!_

"Let them try I can tell them a little tale about a boy and a cop in juvy" I cleaned my tears "How could they even think of suing us?"

"There are bad people in the world, you know that" I nodded feeling his hand press my shoulder "I see you´re a strong kid James, in this kind of cases people break harder and take long to accept everything that happened to them"

"That's because it wasn't the first time, and I got time to get over it" he visibly tensed when I spoke "Is that all?"

"Yeah, I´ll call your parents" I tried to lay back in the bed but I winced taking note a little too late that that position didn't help my case at all. I rested my hand on my stomach breathing hard grimacing when I heard the door open.

"Brother are you ok?" Katie hurriedly ran to my side, I nodded taking her hand and sensing that instead of laying down I could stand and wait till my body relaxed again.

"Ouch" I spoke smiling at my sister´s glare when I was up "Hey baby sis, how was school?"

"Boring" she held up a bag which I figured contained my clothes "Time to go" I took the bag and walked to the bathroom.

"Can you call Kendall? I can´t even lift my arms I´m going to need help with this"

"No need I´m here" he said getting inside the room, he took the bag and we got inside the bathroom "Your mom let you stay with me"

"She did?" that was hard to believe.

"Yup, now hurry up _we_ need to get there, eat and sleep"

"No time for _X_s and _O_s?" I joked putting on my pants.

"Not here" like trying to show how serious he was we slapped away my hands and closed my pants prior getting my shirt and putting on me.

"I was going to say something really stupid but I gave it a better thought" I smiled when he ducked to put on my vans.

"Nothing you say is stupid" he moved to put the right one on.

"Let me rephrase that, something that would definitely embarrass me"

"Ok now I want to hear it" he stood up and raised my eyebrow.

"Tell me your fantasy and I tell you what I was going to tell you"

"James…" I made him look at me, he had a sad expression on his eyes.

"Why don't you want to tell me?" I whispered worried because his expression was terribly like the _asshole_ face.

"Forget about it" and again he escaped the bathroom pulling me by the hand, I walked out to find both of my parents and Katie waiting for us.

"I will never get used to seeing you get out of the bathroom with someone else" said my dad making us laugh.

"Yeah well the sad thing is that there was no action in there" and Kendall froze looking at my dad, it was always fun to see him when James Diamond Senior was around.

"That's good, now come on we have to go home so Kendall can pick up his car"

We went to my parent´s house and after some kisses and _take cares_ we got inside the mustang and drove home.

"It´s not fair that you know my biggest sex fantasy and I don't know yours" I looked at him the minute we were alone inside the car, he couldn't get anywhere like that.

"Why the fuzz about it?" he didn't look at me.

"Because you´re being a drama queen about it" he grimaced not happy at the name, I couldn't care less.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"You´re acting like a five year old"

"Then, if I make the pouty face will you give in?"

"You´re such a kid sometimes…"

"So are you! Who got into a big argue about spiderman being better than batman? Not me!"

"Hey first of all, spiderman _is_ way better than batman! Second that was a one time only, I got into your own geeky world and…"

"And now I want to get into your own pervert sexy little world, is that too much to ask for my boyfriend?"

"YES! WHEN ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS THE SAME THING SOME LUNATIC DID TO YOU!"


	25. Chapter 23

Ahh love…damn guys for confusing us! Yeah I hate the male gender right now…except… you know those four hot boys xD

Now lets continue!

PROM - CHAPTER 23

James PoV

I was laying on my bed listening to Breaking Benjamin´s Dear Agony, yeah not the best song to make me feel better, and the truth was that I didn't want to feel better, I wanted to dwell on my misery, my stupidity, my moronic decisions and my apparent lack intelligence. I groaned turning to my side closing my eyes remembering that afternoon three days ago…

_"YES! WHEN ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS THE SAME THING SOME LUNATIC DID TO YOU!" he screamed and I froze, he didn't say that! He couldn't be saying that!_

"_W-what?" I closed my eyes begging for him to tell me that I had misunderstood him, that it was just my panic, that he…that he didn't…_

"_You heard me" Shit! Shit! No God no! I started trembling, my mind racing back two years, everybody wanted their piece…nothing more._

"_Just two fuck holes" I whispered._

"_What? No! James!" he stopped the car and turned to look at me wide eyed, he looked scared but I couldn't care less, I hugged my sides trying to breathe again…what day was it? Where was I? Tuesday, inside Kendall´s car…good I wasn't going completely crazy "James?" he reached to touch me and I jumped away from him…_

I had fucking JUMPED away from him! I threw my pillow in rage when his face popped inside my mind, he looked way beyond hurt, he looked like he had harmed a puppy and nothing he could do would take away his regret…and then I had told him to take me back to my parents house and I had stormed outside the car, got home and called Logan, my best friend didn't even know what had happened, and I made him promise that he wouldn´t ask, I just needed someone there…and yeah now I felt like a douchebag for it.

Somehow with all his doctors knowledge Logan had figured why I was like that…I knew it before he even got the chance to tell me, it had finally happened, I had hit regression…I was insane again, panicking when people got close to me and hating every minute of it…luckily Kelly had diagnosed me the next day and concluded that it was just a warning from my mind, I had to stop having so many emotions at one time…yeah like that would happen, ever sense I met Kendall my life had become an emotional rollercoaster and I wouldn't change one minute of it. Concerned, my parents sent me back to my daily shrink visits and forbid me to talk to Kendall while I recovered, not that I planned on taking their word for it, they said that it was for my own good, well fuck them he was the only _good_ inside my life…as long as I grew the balls to talk to him again.

I looked at my phone´s background, it was out first picture together, he was laughing while I kissed his cheek, Carlos had taken that photo unannounced, making it real and perfect.

The hardest thing was when all that psycho drama had stopped, when I could think clear again and know how idiotic I was for reacting that way, Kelly told me that it wasn't my fault, that I was in the tightrope ever sense I had gotten those texts but that didn't help me at all. Now I was eager to hear his voice. Still completely terrified of talking to him I was surprised when I saw an incoming call, it was the tenth time he tried to get in touch with me, I answered thinking that he must be really bothered about all that had happened to call me past midnight.

"James?" said Kendall from the other side of the line, he sounded happy in a tortured way, probably surprised that I had answered the call. I held the phone against my ear sighing, God I missed him so much, I had to stay home waiting to get better escaping school and my boyfriend "Hi" he whispered making me feel a sting in my heart "James please talk to me, I´m sorry, I didn't want to tell you because I knew how much I would hurt you…please" he begged me.

Kendall PoV

I could hear him at the other side of the line, his soft breathing getting to me like a slap in the face. How could I be so stupid? Yeah I knew I would tell him sooner or later, but I had to fucking pick that day to explode and yell at him…the same fucking day some bastard had tried to rape him. Awesome timing Kendall, like always.

"Ok, if you don't want to talk to me, please just listen" silence "I-I… I have no idea what to say…I know I´m such an animal for yelling at you like that and I won´t excuse myself for it and…"

"You don't need to" I almost cried when he spoke, he didn't even sound mad at me; I waited for him to say something more but again he kept silent.

"A-and about _that_ I am so sorry James…"

"And again with the sorry" did he sound amused? "How many times do I have to tell you to stop apologizing when you do things that get me off balance?"

"That didn't get you off balance; that hurt you…"

"Yeah well it had to happen sooner or later" what? I blinked not getting what he said, _it had to happen sooner or later_…me hurting him? For how long did he think like that? I thought that ever sense that first fight we were ok, that his fears about our relationship were wiped, I didn't imagine that he had doubts about us…and he was right to have them, I always messed things up, he was suffering and it was my entire fault "Kendall?"

"I think we should break up" I said before I realized and unexpectedly I felt like it was the best decision for his own well being.

"Please tell me that´s a joke" his voice was steady, like every time he was keeping himself from showing his emotions.

"It´s not"

"Why?" I sat on the bed resting my head on the headboard closing my eyes.

"Because it´s the best for you"

"Bullshit!" I bit my lip, I knew it was going to be hard "Kendall being with you is the only thing keeping me going…"

"I am the one putting you through this hell, I was the one guilty of that man taking you, I am the one that made you hit regression…don't you see? Being with me hurts you, your parents already saw that…my mom told me they forbid you to talk to me…I am surprised that you decided to answer the call…"

"I did it because I love you, you moron…I thought we were through this. It´s. Not. Your. Fault." It sounded more like a plea than a scold.

"How can you still love me?"

"How could I not love you?"

"I´m a bad person James, how could I think that is hot to fuck my abused boyfriend? You deserve better, we´re done…"

"Kendall! No…!" I hung up, two seconds later I got a text.

**No way we´re done, you won´t get rid of me that easy.**

I grimaced, perhaps I could say things like that by the phone but I was sure I couldn't do it to his face, I just hoped that his parents wouldn't let him stay the day at school just like the last couple of days. He had just showed up for tests and some tutoring in math, no one talked to him knowing that something horrible had happened to him, I had avoided him not having any idea how to act around him…Camille wouldn't stop nagging me to tell her what was going on, I was miserable and the only thing I could focus on was helping my best friend get a date to the prom, which was tomorrow night.

Knowing that I had school the next day and that I needed some rest I laid back on the bed giving my back to James´ side of it…I closed my eyes repeating one quote over and over again: if you love someone, let him go…I loved him more than I could think of, and I was hurting him, he was better without me.

The next morning I woke up moody, tired and depressed…yeah I shouldn't be surprised about it. I got up, showered and went to the kitchen to have breakfast ending with a glass of juice, I wasn't hungry and that was unusual for me. Deciding that I was better surrounded by people I took my car keys and went to school getting there early enough to be by myself in the classroom, I sat on my seat groaning at the sight of James´ empty seat…it was going to be a long day.

"Morning sunshine" said Carlos palming my back "You look awfully happy today, what happened?" he sat at the teacher´s desk giving me a concerned look.

"I broke up with James" it was worse to say it out loud. I let my head fall to the table.

"Why?" now he was looking at me like I had grown a second head or something.

"It was the best decision…now how´s the prom-date research going?"

"I think I´ll ask Stephanie, but she doesn't even acknowledge me…and you´re a moron for doing that to him" ok I my best friend and my boyfriend…scratch that, my best friend and my _ex_boyfriend had called me a moron, now that didn't do much good to my self-esteem.

"I´m doing it for his own good and she´s totally into you, I´ve seen her"

"Only cuz you´re obsessing about getting me a date, that kind of makes you see things…his own good? What does he think about this?"

"He said that I won´t get rid of him that easily…and I am so not obsessing with your date"

"You are, but it´s ok I guess, I get a hot date and you get your mind of things, a win-win" he shrugged just before Camille came inside the classroom looking pissed.

"Morning Camille" I grimaced when my eyes crossed her brown ones.

"What did you do to him?"

"Huh?" play dementia Kendall, nice…I could almost hear James whispering a _smooth_ at my ear…I had to stop thinking about him!

"Logan said that whatever happened to James it was because of you, what did you do to him? Why isn't he answering his phone? Why isn't he coming to school? Why is it that all of you know except me?" she put her arms in her hips awaiting answers I couldn't give her, not without James permission.

"I can´t tell you that, just know that yeah it´s truth I hurt him, and we broke up" her eyes softened at my words "I don't know if he´ll be back to school regularly or if he´ll continue just getting quizzes and tutoring…"

"There are rumors…that say horrible things about him" she murmured before the other students started getting inside the classroom, she bit her lip before waving us goodbye and getting out as the teacher came inside.

"Morning guys, ready for prom?" he said and got an ovation from the other students, I just ducked my head keeping my mouth shut, and he noticed…a nice talk awaited for me.

When the class ended Mr. Smith asked me to stay behind, he sat on the edge of his desk and gave me a concerned look.

"Anything you want to talk about?" I shook my head "How are things with your mother?"

"Better" they were, she had managed to befriend James´ mother and she was the one updating me about him, not that she was too happy about the Diamonds forbidding him to talk to me, but she understood why they did it.

"And James?"

"We broke up"

"He broke up with you?"

"No, I broke up with him" I did not want to see his stunned expression.

"Why?"

"Because I´m a horrible person, I keep harming him…you know what they say, if you love someone let him go" I closed my eyes, I wanted to go home and mope alone, I had been there only an hour and I was already drained.

"That´s got to be the worse relationship advice anybody could follow…Kendall you didn't harm him, what happened with that man isn't your fault"

"Maybe not, but what happened later it was, he knows it too…even his parents know it"

"What did you do?"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Who else knows what really happened?"

"Just James and I…"

"Then how do you know his parents are making the right decisions? They don't have all the info, they can´t be right"

"If they knew the info they would probably put a restriction order with my name on it" I straighten up "Can I go?"

"James will be coming here in an hour to do a math quiz, I think you should talk to him" I tensed, he would most likely look for me.

"Later teach" I got up and walked away, I couldn't go home and James´ knew my schedule better than his own, there was no way I could avoid him if he wanted to talk to me.

I went to the library looking for some peace and quiet; I sat on our usual table and started doing some science homework not really putting much effort in it. Suddenly I heard some familiar footsteps, I had to take a deep breath trying to prepare myself for whatever he was about to do.

"Any specific gender you want to do?" his voice asked at my back, I didn't move to look at him "Don't be such a pervert and answer the damn question" I closed my eyes remembering that first day, everything had started with those lines, our first joke together, and giving the circumstances it was kind of appropriate, even if he already knew the answer.

"What are you doing here?" I tried to focus back on science ignoring him, he sighed and walked to sit next to me, I didn't lift my eyes from my notebook knowing that I wasn't strong enough to look at him and be a jerk again.

"Looking for a date to the prom" keep writing, keep writing "Do you know a cute guy that would go with me? My boyfriend kind of dumped me"

"No, I don't know anybody" I mumbled keeping the charade.

"I don't know, maybe a grumpy blond?" he moved his chair closer to me, I had to swallow totally forgetting about my homework "An idiotic green eyed guy that doesn't know what he does to me" he let his face fall in my arm, I fisted my hands when I started to feel my shirt wet "I love you, I need you and I don't care that you wanted to fuck me, it´s natural that you do…please Kendall" he whispered so only I could heard him, he sounded so broken and vulnerable.

"James you didn't see the panic I saw when I told you that" I pressed my eyes with my fingers.

James PoV

I was desperate and I knew that and he didn't seem to understand that. Pain crept inside my body as he gathered his stuff and walked away from me. I closed my eyes trying to stay calm, he was my wall, my strength and now he was abandoning me taking everything with him. I cleaned my eyes remembering the text I had sent him, he wasn't going to get rid of me that easily…I just needed some help. I got my phone out and dialed Camille's number.

"James! Where are you? What…?"

"I'm in the library, come here please and if you find Carlos around there bring him too" I cut her off.

"You have a lot to explain mister"

"I know, and I will tell you but right now I need you to help me, please"

"Fine" she sounded mad, I knew I was going to get reproached for disappearing on her like that, but they were the only people I trusted in the whole school and I needed them to help me get my idiot boyfriend back. I crossed my arms in the table resting my head in them, I was so tired of my life, I just wanted things to get back to normal, to be happy and relaxed again. I closed my eyes whispering a song I loved…warmness of the soul by Avenged Sevenfold, it was a beautiful song that really remind me of Kendall…the lyrics even spoke about green eyes. I kept singing in whispers sensing my mood lighten, it had been long sense I sang in any way and it felt good to do it even if there was no one to hear me.

"You have a beautiful voice" said Ms. Johnson putting some books on a shelf.

"Thank you" I turned when I heard a couple of voices getting near, Camille and Carlos came to view "Hi" I smiled getting up.

"You look like shit" she said taking my face between her hands, I laughed and moved her aside.

"I feel like it"

"Ready to get your boyfriend back?" grinned Carlos

"He's an idiot, too stubborn for his own good" they sat across from me "I need your help to get him to go to prom with me"

"James you look sick, are you sure you should be thinking about prom and not about your health?" scolded Camille.

"If you hadn't slept, barely eat and be miserable for almost two weeks you would have this face too" I murmured resting my head in my hand.

"That doesn't explain the bruises" yeah she could see through the foundation, should've seen that coming.

"Yeah that's a story for another moment…any ideas of what can I do to get him to listen to me? I was planning on tying him to a chair but I don't think it would have a nice effect on him"

"That sounds fun, but I agree lets try not to traumatize him for life" said Camille, I pretty much doubted that he would be traumatized, more like getting all horny and hating me for it.

"I can get him to prom, no problem" shrugged Carlos "The talking is all up to you" I wasn't good with words, if after saying all that to him he still left, my words weren't good enough…there had to be something else to get him back, to show him how much I craved for him.

"You could sing to him" I heard Ms. Johnson's words, could I find my love of singing again? Could I give him my entire soul to him risking having my heart broken? For him, of course I could.


	26. Chapter 24

Soo, this was supposed to be the last chapter but I think not xD just one more to go people!

GIVE MYSELF TO YOU – CHAPTER 24

James PoV

I was freaking out. My throat felt dry and rash, my clothes felt too hot and I wanted to scream…the worst part was that I wasn't even near a stage, I was still in my bedroom looking at my amused best friend.

"Breathe James, you´re getting purple" he said fixing his tie "I am the one that´s supposed to be nervous, I am taking Camille to the prom after all" yeah damn him, he looked like Mr. Confidence over there, he was wearing a black suit, a white shirt, a simple black bowtie and a smug smile, apparently Logan had some swagger after all.

"Yeah you´re not about to sing in front of all your school…to the guy you love and probably will…"I shut up unable to continue, I rested my hands on my desk and started to take deep breaths. I was about to spill my soul for him, I didn't know if I could recover if he shoved me away again.

"Hey, it will work" he said palming my back, I gave him a small smile and look at the mirror, I was wearing a black suit, black best and black shirt with no tie, even with some bruises left I knew I looked good but for some reason I felt that it wasn't enough. I closed my eyes and cursed under my breath when I heard the front door. Shit. We were supposed to leave before my dad got home, he wouldn't let me go to the prom, he probably hated Kendall at the moment…well then it was going to be a memorable evening, the two male Diamonds were about to have a noisy _difference of opinions_.

"Where do you think you´re going?" he asked, my mom walking behind him…that little tale where mothers were always supportive of their sons…was a big lie.

"Prom" I straighten myself matching his height, I wasn't going to back down.

"No you´re not" he took a step closer "You´re not ok James"

"No, I´m not…that´s the exact reason why I _have_ to go" I was trying hard not to scream at his face and storm away from the house.

"James, don't you see what that boy did to you?" he started raising his voice.

"_That boy_! Dad come ON! He´s the most important person in my life, thanks to him I´m safe in here…besides you don't even know what he did to make me like this…"

"We don't need to, we just needed to see the look in your face, son…" began my mother.

"I don't believe this from _you_ mom! It´s Kendall who we´re talking about! I do not believe this" I exchanged looks with my best friend, he gave me a tiny reassuring smile "All that happened was because I overreacted and now thanks to _you_ he…he broke up with me" I shivered hearing his words in my mind over and over again "Thanks to you he´s convinced that he´s hurting me, when all he did was being a normal guy…"

"Tell me what happened James, please son, I hate that you close yourself to us" said my father putting his hand on my shoulder, I sighed hating that I had to talk those kinds of topics with my parents but I also needed to be at prom in less than an hour and if telling them some personal things was the way to be there…I had to do it "Just us, alone" my mom and Logan got the Q and left the room.

"It all started because I wanted a distraction, something to take my mind away from…things" I bit my lip the next lines were going to be hard "So after some jokes I ended up asking him what his big sex fantasy was" I was sure I was worse than a tomato by now, I kept looking at my shoes and he was silent "He didn't want to tell me, he kept avoiding the subject…I kept pushing and pushing him until I got on his nerves when we were in the car"

"What did he say to you?"

"That his fantasy was me to bottom" I decided to make his words a little prettier, I didn't know how my father would react if I said the same ones he had yelled at me "He hates himself for even thinking about that…"

"With all that happened, how could that even cross his mind?" my dad made an angry sound "I knew you two were going too fast…"

"Yeah _now_ you decide to speak up" I rolled my eyes thinking that if the plan didn't work I had to start getting used to being single again "Dad, he has never asked me to do it, and maybe if _Monday_ hadn't happen I might had acted different…I was about to lose it, that was why he wanted me to go home with him" his eyes shot up to meet mine, I had never called _home_ Kendall´s house in front of him "At the hospital he even asked me if I was done being mature…I hate it when you guys see me all wrecked up…"

"That´s not the way things are supposed to be James, we´re your parents, we´re the ones you shouldn't be afraid of" he sat on his bed looking tired and hurt.

"I do trust you, a lot and you know that, it´s just…" I sat next to him resting my elbows on my knees not having the minimal idea of how to explain myself "With him the reason of everything being different is that he never backs down thinking that he might hurt me because of my past…he acts of instinct, he treats me like a _normal_ guy…"

"Why do you say normal like something you´re not?"

"Because I know I´m not, because I have a creep touching me in my nightmares…but with Kendall all that is gone…any memory of _him_ pales when I have Kendall in front of me…" I blinked getting what my own words meant, yeah it was an understatement to say that I felt like an idiot for not realizing_ that_ before, I sounded my throat and went back convincing my dad "Dad please, I need to go there and make him understand that even if sometimes he confuses me _he´s_ the best thing for me" I turned to look at him, my eyes pleading.

"You are going even if I say no, aren't you?" he passed his hand through his face.

"Of course I am" he sighed putting his hand on his pocket.

"Here" he tossed me his car keys "Don't make me regret this. Have fun and rock Kendall´s world singing like I know you can" he stood up, opened the door and walked away.

"Dad!" I ran making him stop "Thanks you´re awesome" I hugged him before running to my best friend and dragging him out.

"He let you borrow his car? Wow" laughed Logan getting inside the passenger´s seat, normally my parents didn't lend mi their cars and if they did it was my mother´s car, so having my dad´s nice Honda civic was a big step.

"Yeah" I was about to get in when my dad screamed from the window.

"Better bring it clean in the morning!" and that was his permission to stay at Kendall´s…yeah my dad was the best.

"I love my dad" I turned on the music driving to Camille´s house "When you get there you two get inside the back seat, I will be your driver tonight"

"Why would you do that?" he frowned confused.

"Because these were supposed to be your vacations and thanks to my craziness the only thing you´ve been able to do is worry about me" I grasped the wheel "I just want to make this date nice to you, I want to be a good friend for once…besides, maybe you could get some tonight" I winked at him, he laughed and punched my arm.

"Pervert"

"Nerd"

"Geek"

"You can´t insult me with that if you´re one yourself"

"I didn't say I wasn't, I just said that you were" _Touché_. I ignored him pulling over Camille´s house, he took a deep breath and got out of the car after I gave him a thumbs up. When they came back Logan was blushed and absently cleaning his lips while Camille walked by his side with a huge smile.

"Hey James, looking hot" she said prior getting inside the back seat followed by my best friend "To the prom James!" she mocked.

"Right on it ma´lady" I smiled "You look good yourself Camille" I continued driving feeling a little prick in my heart when they started to whisper to each other, they had gotten pretty close in that week, I was happy for them but at the moment I was in pain missing Kendall like crazy and I didn't exactly need to see all that fluffiness in the back seat, I just hoped he got the message, I knew it wasn't sane for someone to hold on this much in somebody but I really didn't give a fuck, he needed me too and for me that meant that me had to be together.

We got there when the party was right on top, best timing to go and have a chat with the band, one of them was Camille´s friend and he told us that for him it was ok for me to sing a slow dance, but he had to ask his band mates too. I looked around the gym smiling; I had missed my prom the first time, now I was determined to make this one memorable. I walked between the students getting all kinds of looks, from the lusty and approving to curious and concerned ones…well James Diamond was always up for some attention…right? Not. But I kept my cool and found my way to the backstage where the band was having a break.

"Hi" they all looked at me expectantly, apparently they were the talent show winners and according to Camille, a bunch of douchebags that felt like hollywood´s eight wonders except from her friend, who wasn't around at the moment, great "I wanted to ask you guys for a favor…"

"We take requests after twelve" I rolled my eyes at the guy´s superior tone.

"Yeah it´s not that kind of request…I would like to sing a slow song before you guys start the next segment…I believe Fred might have told you about it?" now all four of them were watching me with interest.

"We have to keep the vibe here, how do we know you can sing?" asked the one playing with his guitar.

"Come with me to the hallway and hear me out" he nodded and we both walked outside the school´s gym and inside the hallway, he signaled me to start and I took a deep breath before starting, I felt my voice a little rusty and weird but I handled myself, by the time I was done the guy had his mouth open and eyes wide.

"Dude! You can sing! Of course we give you the time, which song are you going to sing? You know… to know if we can play it"

"No need, if you have a keyboard I can handle myself" I shrugged.

"Ok then, you´re good to go in five minutes" I smiled as we went back to the gym, Logan and Carlos were already there eagerly awaiting my answer.

"I´ll do it…hi Carlos" I fisted him hello "Where´s Kendall?"

"At the punch area looking miserable" I moved my eyes searching for him, when I found him a sadistic smile spread through my lips, he was wearing a green long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and black pants, his hair was messy and not too taken care of, his eyes were down and his whole expression screamed _pain_, his pale face, the dark circles under his eyes and the line between his sexy brows…somehow I was happy to see him this bad, it meant that I had a little more chance to break his resolve and get him back.

"James" murmured Logan next to me.

"Yeah?"

"You´re making a creepy face" he furrowed his nose and I chuckled.

"I´m gaining confidence over Kendall´s pain…yeah that's kind of creepy" I passed my hand through my eyes sighing, was it me or this place was starting to get hot? Not wanting to get all sweaty I took of my jacket off and pulled up my sleeves.

"Nervous?" inquired Carlos

"Yup" I wasn't going to lie "But I can handle it"

"Good because thanks to this I ended up without a date and with a grumpy best friend, your singing better be worth it!" he raised his eyebrow before waving us and walking towards Kendall, I moved behind the stage keeping myself hidden from his eyes.

"I don't remember you being nervous before" said Logan as Camille came to meet us.

"So, are you going up?" she asked.

"In a matter of minutes" I took a deep breath, I was sure my voice would disappear in any second if I didn't calm myself. My eyes shot up when some guy from the crew signaled me to go up, Logan and Camille gave me a thumbs up and I climbed the stage.

Kendall PoV

Being depressed didn't suit me at all. I didn't want to be there, I wanted to be at home, moping alone hugging James pillow and watching his favorite show: Supernatural…pathetic I knew that, but I didn't care. I drank the already spiked punch in one gulp and heard the dj speak.

"How´s everybody doing?"

"Awesome" I murmured sarcastically spotting my best friend walking to meet me.

"I don't know about you!" continued the dj "But I think is the time for the first slow dance!" the students started cheering and I made a pained expression, yeah I had to get out from there before they started the wrist cutting love songs "And for that we´ll be having a special intervention from James Diamond" I started coughing over my punch surprised by his words. _WHAT?_ I lifted my gaze to the stage freezing when I saw James testing a keyboard. I gulped taking in his appearance, he looked beyond hot, and now he was going to sing a slow song…holly shit, in danger of sounding presumptuous I knew that was for me; I turned to look at my grinning best friend, he knew, it had been their plan all along…now I was scared.

I took a deep breath focusing on James, he looked unsure but resolved, he kept his eyes on the keyboard and began to play, I closed my eyes recognizing the song right away.

James PoV

This was it, I had to sing again…I looked at the crowd one last time, I closed my eyes and thought about good things, good moments that made me want to sing every day, just like my father had taught me to get rid of the nerves, my fingers moved in the keyboard, I knew the song from heart, I wouldn't blew it, I had confidence in me, thinking that way I started to sing.

Your hazel green tinted eyes watching every move I make.  
>And that feeling of doubt, it's erased.<br>I'll never feel alone again with you by my side.  
>You're the one, and in you I confide more<br>oh-oh-oh

Everybody went silent, I didn't know why and I didn't care, I had to sing to Kendall, to make him understand how much I loved him, how much I needed him with me. Closing my eyes I continued.

And we have gone through good and bad times.  
>But your unconditional love was always on my mind.<br>You've been there from the start for me.  
>And your love's always been true as can be.<br>I give my heart to you.  
>I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you.<br>Woh-oh-oh

I finally got the strength to look for his eyes, his gaze was completely fixed in me, his eyes wide and focused, that gave me reassurance to go on. I let my eyes roam the students as the piano solo started, my fingers moving on their own, none of the students were dancing, they were looking at me like I was something great, I remembered that feeling …I felt like those years had never happened and I was just a kid dreaming big. I took a breath giving all I had in the next chorus.

And we have gone through good and bad times.  
>But your unconditional love was always on my mind.<br>You've been there from the start for me.  
>And your love's always been true as can be.<br>I give my heart to you.  
>I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you.<br>Woh-oh-oh

I made sure I was looking at the incredible blond in the back for the last lines.

I give my heart to you.  
>I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you.<p>

I finished the long note just before I concluded the song. There was a second when nobody moved and before I could do anything I heard someone scream in the middle of the crowd.

"You rock dude!" it was one of Kendall´s team mates, and after him everybody started clapping and cheering, I smiled sensing that even with everything that had happened in my life, singing was a part of me and I sure hoped I wouldn't forget about it ever again. I was beaming for the first time in days and because of that I didn't see Kendall walked outside the gym. When I finished thanking the students I looked at the punch area frowning when I didn't see him, a part of me broke before other part continued hoping saying that maybe he was waiting for me backstage, I hurriedly climbed of the stage looking around, I could only see Logan and Camille, my best friend raised his shoulders letting me know that he was as clueless as I was.

My heart started beating fast and my eyes began to water, I had to blink fast while I walked outside to the school´s dark corridors ignoring my friend´s calls, I felt the euphoria disappear letting me crash into an excruciating nothingness; Kendall was standing his word, he was leaving me. I muffled a sob with my hand as the heartache increased, my body slowly going numb, I knew it was insane to depend that much in somebody, I knew that I risked everything when I started dating him, but I had never thought that it would last so little time, I had never thought that _if_ we broke up I would still love him this much. I let my back rest against the wall, that _Officer_ didn't take just my innocence, now after dead he had come back to take my happiness away, it was like his ghost would ever live inside of me, creeping in my soul taking everything, breaking me a little more in each passing minute.

"James?" I heard someone call my name, but I didn't recognized that voice deciding that numbness was better than let the pain eat me, I kept my eyes down sensing tears run freely through my cheeks not even caring to stop them "Hey, hey look at me" said that voice again now followed by a pair of hands what wiped away the salted pearls, I let my eyes shut at the kindness of the touch "James" the minute I felt a forehead against mine my heart skipped at beat, but I ignored it not wanting to hope again "I´m sorry" one of the hands started caressing my hip as the other remained tangled in my hair "I can´t be apart from you and apparently the feeling is reciprocate…I love you so much, and I don't want to see you broken and scared…like now, please James open your eyes" he asked me "All I wanted was the best for you…I´m sorry about not asking you what _you _wanted and assuming that the last thing you needed was me…I may not be the best but if you want me I´m here, I won´t do this to us anymore…I am sorry, please James talk to me" he was practically begging me at this point, I didn't trust my voice so without opening my eyes I reached for him meeting his lips forcefully trying to show him how hurt and angry I was at him for doing this to me, also I wanted him to feel the way my soul craved for him, how much I loved and needed him. He kissed me back taking everything in, pushing me hard against the wall grasping my hair like his life depended on it. We battled for dominance neither of us backing up until our lungs screamed for air, at that moment we maintained our bodies close, his face in mine as he gained his breath, I decided that it was time to open my eyes and when I did my heart sank at the sight of those green orbs, they continued to plead forgiveness accepting that even if we were like this I could back down and away from him.

"Where did you go?" I whispered desperate to know where he was when I had finished singing.

"Here, I had to compose myself before speaking to you, I had no idea what to do, I love you but I was sure that for once I was doing the right thing, then I saw you and I didn't need more proof that I wasn't and that we _had_ to be together"

Kendall PoV

"Don't you ever, _EVER_ do this to me again" James said in a small voice letting his face fall on my neck, he was still trembling looking more fragile than any other time.

"I won´t, I promise" I hugged him attempting to be the rock he needed to steady himself.

"You´re an idiot" he said and I smiled, he sounded a lot more like himself again "You moron, idiotic fool" I just kept hugging him letting all his anger come out, I knew I deserved it anyways "And you even broke up with me by the phone!" he separated and gave me a not so light slap in the face.

"Ouch!"

"You be happy it´s just a slap and not a punch" he covered his face with his hand "I hate you right now"

"I know" I said softly as I caress his hair "Do you forgive me?"

"Yes…did you like the song?" his hazel eyes looked up to me and I smiled.

"How could I not like it? George was right, you rock dude" he chuckled at this "I liked that song before, but hearing it in your angelic voice made me love it, you can really be better than Adam Lambert"

"I already knew that" there was that shine in his eyes slowly coming back "And I love singing, but I don't want fame, I want to study art and be a teacher and be with you"

"I love you" I kissed him "How about we go make ourselves pretty again and get inside that prom?"

"No, I´m good like this" he hugged me "I could be like this for centuries"

"Me too, but this is our prom and we have to enjoy it. Come on" I took his hand making him walk to the restrooms ignoring his whines, when we got in we groaned at the bright lights, the hallway was dark and intimate, way better than this.

"If I didn't look bad enough now I have swollen eyes…perfect" he said facing the mirror in horror before washing his face. I looked at myself, nah I didn't look that bad.

"You are beautiful" I said watching him dry his face "The most beautiful being my eyes have ever seen" a blush started to appear.

"In real life or in a fantasy?" I closed my eyes at his words, I just wished I had never told him about that.

"James forget about it, I never expected it to be true…I won´t do that to…" he put his hand on my mouth looking angry.

"Like I told you on the phone, don't even think about doing this to me again, always apologizing!"

"What do you want me to do? You even said it yourself, it was a matter of time before I hurt you" he frowned looking puzzled.

"I did not…" he shut up before he started laughing I just glared at him confused "I didn't meant _you_!" he cupped my face "Moron, I meant myself! Kelly told me that given all that had happen I was _inclined_ to break in any moment…how could you think I meant you?" he kissed me "Looks like all this was thanks to a lot of misunderstandings" then his eyes darkened and he made an expression I had never seen before "I will do it"

"Do what?"

"I will bottom"

"No" I took a step back, I wouldn't put him through that, no way.

"Yes, you´re everything to me, like the song said _I give my heart to you_…I want to give my whole self to you"


	27. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25 - FINALE

James PoV

We were currently at the dancing floor, not because I had begged Kendall to dance, but because he had dragged me there not wanting to talk about our sex life…that was a first. I moved along the music smiling when my boyfriend –oh yeah back to calling him that- moved closer to me.

"You can´t be sure" he whispered at my ear, not caring about the looks our friends gave us I turned to face him keeping his leg between mine.

"I am" he didn't believe me "Come on" I kissed him smiling when our friends started to make howling noises and we had to separate ourselves.

"You´re just jealous" said Kendall kissing my cheek.

"For once I am" we all looked at Carlos wide eyed "Hey! Not in that way! I just wanted a date, and now all of you love birds are making me miserable" I bit my lip thinking that thanks to him I was this happy and I had to do something for him, so I took Kendall´s hand.

"We´re going to get punch" lame excuse but I didn't care. We walked to the punch area my eyes searching for Stephanie, I knew Carlos had a crush on her sense some weeks ago and if I could get him at least one dance I would make him beyond happy. I grinned when I spotter her surrounded by other girls, that meant she didn't have a date.

"What are you doing?" inquired Kendall stopping me.

"Watch" I smiled letting go if his hand and walking to the girls "Hey ladies"

"Hi James! I loved your song!" said one.

"Thanks, amm Stephanie, could I talk to you for a minute?"

"Ok" she said confused and followed me.

"I´m sure you know my friend Carlos Garcia" she blushed, perfect "Well he wanted to ask you to the dance, but he ended up being the awesome friend he is and didn't got the time to ask you because he was helping me…I was wondering if you wanted to give him at least one dance"

"I would love to" she smiled not even doubting, I offered her my arm and walked her to Carlos, who opened his eyes wide when he saw us "Hi"

"Hi" he said sheepishly "W-would you like to dance?" he raised his hand.

"Sure" she took it and he gave me a thumbs up before starting to dance.

"How did you do that?" asked Kendall hugging my waist "I tried for two days to get those two together and you do it in seconds"

"The Diamond magic" I joked "Now, how about we go home?"

"I think that's a great idea, but I brought Carlos and he will need a lift" he kissed my neck.

"No prob, Logan!" I called before I tossed him my dad´s car keys "Take it to Kendall´s in the morning…late, late morning" he nodded and waved us good bye.

I practically dragged Kendall outside spotting his car right away, we got inside after a heated kiss keeping our hands together, I watched him drive before I started a rolling motion on his palm with my thumb.

"Feels good" he smiled. I grinned raising it to meet my lips kissing everyone of his knuckles making sure my lips were slow and teasing, Kendall´s breath quicken as I took one of his fingers in my mouth "James I need to drive" he gasped as I sucked his finger.

"Ok" I said nonchalantly letting go of his hand like that whole scene didn't cause any tightness in my pants. He growled fixing his eyes up front and grabbing the wheel with such force that his hands started turning white…oh yeah he was fucking turned on. The minute we got home I got out of the car leaving the door open so he had to stay and close it leaving me time to get inside the house escaping him, if he got me any sooner my plans on being bottom would go to the dump. I opened the door and started walking to our bedroom taking away my vest, the moment I reached the bedroom door he turned me and crashed his lips on mine, I moaned when he pushed me against the wall parted my legs and rocked right on me.

"Such a tease" I gave him a breathless laugh followed by a grown as he continued to buck against me.

"Horny?" I sure was.

"As hell" he started kissing my neck, after days of not being near him I was desperate to get my boyfriend naked and…fuck! I groaned when he started to unbuckle my pants and began pumping me teasing my tip in every movement, I had to grab his shoulders and ducked my head on his neck for support as he continued making sure I didn't move keeping my hips in place with his other hand.

"Kendall" I grasped his hand, I had to stop him before I became jelly under his touch "Stop I…"

"Why do you want to do it?" it took a whole minute for my brain to process his words, I looked inside his emerald orbs, they were dark and glassy, like every time lust filled them…I felt my cock twitch under his gaze.

"I already told you…"

"No" he kissed my jaw "I want the _real_ reason" damn him he knew how to torture the truth out of me.

"That is…shit" I hissed tugging his shirt when he pressed my dick with his hand.

"Tell me James" he licked the back of my ear "We both know that you have already given yourself to me, there´s no need for you to bottom, there´s something else in all this" I closed my eyes hugging him somehow glad that he had stopped moving his hand letting coherent thoughts inside my mind.

"I want to forget" I whispered "That _he_ or anybody else touched me like that…I just want to think of you every time I remember someone inside me, I want to cloud those memories with new ones…please Kendall" he was completely still, his hand slowly let go of me and rested it on my hip.

"Have you given this a thought at all? Before Monday?" I smiled feeling a kiss on my neck.

"I have" I rested my forehead on his making eye contact so he could know my words were true "I have always been curious of how it could be, but the minute I thought of doing it with someone I freaked…until you came…I saw that you enjoyed it a lot" he chuckled.

"I do" he kissed me "One last time, are you sure?" he looked at me.

"I am" deciding that it was enough talk I pushed him to the bed and started to take off my shirt, he made a concerned expression when my bandages showed up, I stood up in front of him while his hands traveled to release the bands, I winced a little when his fingers touched my bruised skin, he pulled me close kissing every purple spot; I lovingly caressed his hair before bending down to meet his lips crawling inside the bed after he got rid of his shirt.

"Does it still hurt?" he asked as his fingers followed the trail of my abs.

"Not that much" I leaned back smiling when he stood up in the bed and faked a little dance as he stripped, then he got on his knees and took away my pants and shoes.

"I missed you" he whispered going back for a hungry kiss, when I felt his hands slowly made their way to my ass…I clenched my eyes and took my breath. Ok this was it, the fingers, I could take it, I…did he just _laughed_?

"Why are you laughing?" I opened my eyes finding his amused ones.

"You´re terrified" he caressed my cheek "And cute"

"Am not"

"You are"

"Ok maybe a little, but I can handle it, I´m not a whiny girl…now take my mind of this and finger me" he groaned.

"You have no idea how hot is to hear you say that" he nibbled my neck "Remember when we first had sex on the woodshop?"

"Yeah" his hands changed directions to my hips again.

"I gave you your first blowjob" I nodded shivering at the memories "And surprisingly I found a sensitive spot" his thumb passed through a little scar I had right below my hipbone and I gasped in pleasure, damn how could a scar be so sensitive? "If that happens when I touch it with my finger, what would happen when I give it the _right _attention?" I shuddered when he began to kiss down my body as one of his fingers encircled my entrance. The minute his lips touched my scar his finger slid inside me causing me a conflict of emotions, first the ecstasy wave that crushed my body thanks to his kiss and second the foreign feeling of something not quite welcomed in my ass. Kendall continued sucking the receptive bit of skin making sure to leave a hickey and making me forget about the finger; then he started to move that finger, surprisingly after mere moments I began to enjoy the friction moaning and meeting his thrusts with my hips.

Kendall PoV

I watched his face relax and as small moan escaped his lips, he liked it and that was way more than I could ask for. I passed the tip of my tongue through his scar one last time before I connected my eyes with his, there were so many emotions inside this hazel orbs, he was scared, he was horny and confused? I frowned taken back by that emotion, he mirrored my frown.

"What…?" he began to ask.

"What is it?" he must had understood what my words meant because a half smile spread through his lips; I made sure my hand didn't stop moving searching for his prostate.

"Feels good" somehow those two words explained all, he was used to be in pain when it came to this, it was normal that he was a little surprised about feeling good about it.

"Ready?" I got my finger out waiting for his nod after getting two inside him, his sharp breath intake let me know that it had become a little painful, I had to find that damn spot!

"Talk to me" he pleaded in a small voice grasping the sheets a little too hard, I kissed his abs before speaking.

"No, I want you to focus on what you´re feeling, just that" he bit his lip clearly unsure as I began moving my digits, he started to take deep breaths relaxing his body again and then I finally hit it.

"OH GOD!" he yelled shooting his head back, tugging back the sheets, I continued to pass my fingers through that same spot merciless as I began to touch his throbbing cock "Kendall" he moaned when I added a third finger, this time he didn't wince, he just gasped moving his hips in sync with my hand.

"You ready?" I was having a hard time taking things slow for him, he appear to be thinking his answer for a moment, then he gave me a firm nod and I let my fingers away loving the small whine that escaped his lips.

James PoV

My heart was beating so fast I was surprised I hadn't had a heart attack.

Yes the fingers felt good but…shit I was so scared, why couldn't I just focus on the sensations? I swallowed attempting to relax myself as I saw Kendall get in position, I hugged his waist with my legs resting my hands on his shoulders.

"Look at me" he said, I did it finding pure love in his gaze lessening my fear. I pulled him for a much needed kiss as I felt his tip touching my whole. He continued with the kiss when he began to penetrate me. In some sick way I knew that it wouldn't hurt physically that much, the fingers had already proved me that I wasn´t near as tight as my boyfriend, but emotionally…well I was working on that. I hissed closing my eyes keeping my cheek against Kendall´s, he stopped moving letting me adjust, he kissed my temple and jaw as his hands touched lightly my sides.

"Go on" he continued to get inside, I centered my attention on my breaths, each one sending a different sensation to my mind: his heated body attached to mine, his feathery touches, his lips caressing my neck and most importantly a weird feeling of being full, he was completely inside me, like he was a part of me. I breathed slowly opening my eyes, his face was close to mine looking at me trying to read my emotions "Move" he pecked my lips before doing it, he took a slow rhythm, getting half out and back in. A small moan found its way out of my lips after a while like that, he grinned even if his face screamed in agony for taking things this slow which made me love him even more "I´m ok, give me all you got"

"Took you… long enough" he said moving to get almost completely out "Ready?"

"Fuck me" he visibly shuddered at my words, I was about to grin when he slammed back inside.

Kendall PoV

Watching James grasp the headboard growling in ecstasy as I pounded inside him was…well, not even my most vivid fantasy made him justice. His sexy chiselled muscles contracting in each thrust glowing with sex induced sweat, his mouth lightly opened letting out the most delicious sounds, his eyes piercing me with his lust clouded gaze. I lifted my hand taking away his sweaty hair from his face before pulling it loving the deep moan he emitted before I captured his lips in a sloppy kiss. He yelled when I hit his prostrate and I made sure I got it repeatedly, his eyes shot back gasping not making any other sound at this point; sensing that I was about to meet my orgasm I fisted his shaft pumping it, he cursed letting go of the board and hugging my shoulders.

"I´m…close" he breathed, I fastened my phase until he screamed against my neck hitting his orgasm spreading his cum on both our chests, his body shivered sending delicious vibrations to my dick giving me all I needed to hit the top. I shouted his name filling him with my seed. I rode him through our orgasm until I crumpled on top of him trying to regain my breath.

"You ok?" he asked me making me chuckle.

"That´s my line" I raised my head resting it on his "Hi"

"Hi" his eyes were shining and peaceful; we winced when I got out of him before giving me a small smile "I loved it" he kissed me slowly biting my lower lip between his teeth.

"Good" I sighed when his hands started to play with my hair "How´s everything up here?" I touched his temple knowing that he was already or about to overanalyze this whole moment.

"It´s pure bliss…I´m blank" he made a dreamy face "My mind refuses to think…I just feel good"

"Glad I could help" he gave me a Eskimo kiss before an actual chase one "I love you" I moved to rest on my side, he slowly turned wincing a little before hugging me keeping his face at the crook of my neck.

"I love you too…and Kendall"

"Yes?" I closed my eyes starting to give myself to sleep.

"I won´t bottom every time, it was awesome but…"

"I know" he hugged me strongly, perhaps he had enjoyed it but something told me he just wasn't entirely comfortable with being bottom every time "I don't mind"

"Thank you" he didn't speak for a while and just when I was finally finding Morpheus he let out a chuckle "Kendall?"

"What is it?" I mumbled not even opening my eyes.

"I made your fantasy come true…I want payback" said this he moved to rest his head on the pillow falling asleep letting his last statement in the air…oh shit, what had I gotten myself into?

THE END (for real this time xD)

Okay people it's a rap! The true one! Finally! Lol! I didn't want to finish this story, but now I have another one to compensate the lost…another angsty/romantic Kames…ohhh yeaahh!

Thank you! Thank you to all of you readers! You´re the fuel of my writing xD and special love to all my awesome reviewers! YOU ROCK!

Well what did you think of the chapter? The whole story? Don't hold back I can take it XD!

Take care people! See ya soon!


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